Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Hectic Hump Day

It's another edition of Hectic Hump Day.  Every Wednesday, I got on random tangents about whatever crosses my mind.  If you're not offended, I need to think harder.

1.  Sad to hear about Dick Clark.  Probably one of the coolest dudes ever.  Although I loved him to death, there was no need for him to be on the last few years of the New Years' Rockin' Eve.  He was struggling to countdown and struggling to kiss his wife.  I now know that Red Bull New Year No Limits is the only thing worth watching on New Years now.

2.  Speaking of New Years, I've noticed how dumb and drunk people get.  Do you know what you're celebrating?  A second.  That's it, just one measly second.  People find the stupidest reasons to get drunk.

3.  Whoever the crabby lady is at McDonald's across from the Civic Center, she needs to be fired.  When I thanked her nicely for my meal, she just growled and grunted.  Unless her dad was a doberman, she should try using her words.

4.  This season's cast of The Biggest Loser could be the whiniest cast ever.  Two of them quit because of the potential for a twist in the game.  Sorry, but Buddy and Mark are quitters and wusses.  They give men a bad name.  They say they wanted "competition", but what they really wanted was an easy path to winning.  Life isn't easy, why should a reality show be easy?

5.  So have you heard about the lady who was being abused, fired a gun into her ceiling, and is now facing 25 years in prison for aggravated assault?  In Florida, no less.  Basically, this woman was standing her ground in her own home, and she can go to jail for 25 years.  George Zimmerman was on public property when he stood his ground, and he can get off Scot free.  This woman, Marissa Alexander, was being abused and her life was in danger in the hands of her ex-husband.  Marissa is a black woman.  So...if it walks like a duck, swims like a duck, and quacks like a ain't a dern mongoose.

6.  Don't you hate when people get on their cell phones at sporting events just so people can see them on television?  Who cares?

7.  Funny dialogue today.  I told my fella that he had to brush his teeth so they'd be white, and he can get a woman and get married.  He asked me, "do I look like a girl?"  I asked him, "no, do you think only girls get married?"  He said, "yes."  So basically, only girls get married.  Man, that makes my future a lot easier.  Although I'm a catch.  I'm nice and sweet and good with kids.  It's a shame I don't get to get married because I'm not a girl.

8.  The winner for the most persistent man ever goes to Oprah's long time beau, Stedman.  They may finally tie the knot some time.  I still believe Oprah is the anti-Christ until she dies.  People worship her, she has her own belief on how to worship and practice religion, and she has the money to fix the entire planet and two other planets.  Just saying...

That's all I got.  Enjoy the rest of the week.  Sorry this was so late, Whitney.  Whitney's great people, talk to her.  If you don't know her, just ask, I'll give you a rundown and her number if you want to ask her out for coffee.  White chicks love coffee.  Why do you think those people on Friends always went there?

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