Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Teach Me How to Snuggie

Me with my Snuggie...I look like the Black Statue of Liberty
This next birthday story is from 2009.  It was the last year of my third decade of existence.  I was excited because I had just hit my stride in my job at the Roanoke Elementary Autism Program, affectionately and conveniently known as REAP.  I made some pretty good friends that year.  My co-workers were pretty cool.  That year, I guess they liked me so much that they all kinda pitched in to get me the one thing I wanted more than anything in the world, a Snuggie.  Yes, that blanket with sleeves.  Well, they all said that they got me something that I would be happy to have.  After many days of hype, the box came in.  There it sat, a brand new Snuggie in that sea foam green.  It made me smile.  Not only did I get a Snuggie, I got that awesome flipping book light that went with it.  It gets better than that.  The package came with a SECOND Snuggie and book light.  I told my pastor that if I ever got a Snuggie and it came with an extra, I'd give it to him.  So that Sunday in church, I gave him his Snuggie and book light.  He was obviously happy.  Mostly over the book light, truth be told.  I think he just liked the flipping action.  That birthday was kind of the culmination of a lot of things for me.  I was starting to really get close to God because of my new church.  I trusted God with my career after not being a youth pastor anymore.  The day I joined that church was the day that I was called to be hired to work at REAP and Mountain View Elementary.  I loved my job as a youth pastor, truly did.  However, it was hurting me to be so out of it because of working at two other places.  I also felt the call to go into education.  What facet, I didn't really know until I got into REAP.  That was a great group of people.  I still work with some of them today and keep fairly decent contact with others.  That Snuggie is still next to me right now.  In fact, I'm probably about to put it on.  It's my constant reminder that I'm in a good place now.  I'm where the Good Lord wants me, which is the best place to be.

Monday, January 30, 2012

The Beginning...

I'm starting something this week.  We are going to celebrate my birthday week. Why, you ask?  Because it's my blog.  So I'm going to go through some of the highlights of my life that happened on my birthday.  Things that I remember from birthdays past.  The first story I'm telling is from last year.  Last year, I took a nice girl and her son to the circus.  The only negative to that was that I had to pay for the dern thing.  I'm paying, on my birthday?  That's no good.  Other than that, the circus was actually a lot of fun.  I got popcorn, soda, and cotton candy.  I hung out with a really smart lady and her really cool son.  The circus was full of cool things.  The tigers were the best part.  I know there is some controversy about tigers in captivity, but the beauty of those animals are unreal.  I hated the clowns...still hate them.  I don't find them funny.  They do nothing to make me laugh at all.  Anyway, I had a good day that day.  Best part was that the very next day, Green Bay won the Super Bowl.  Of course, it got progressively worse because I started dating my crazy, paranoid ex the week after.  For the record, not the same girl I took to the circus.  That year, I turned 29 and 24 months.  Very much a landmark birthday.  This last year taught me so much about myself and the people I surrounded myself with.  I grew up a lot that year.  I finished my provisional license in Special Education.  I lost my grandmother.  I dealt with nutty roommates.  I dealt with an even nuttier ex girlfriend.  I dealt with transfer upon transfer for work.  It had been the most trying year of my life.  I'm thankful for the experience.  It was God teaching me something from this.  Let God teach you stuff when He has a chance.  Be open to learning experiences.  You'd be surprised what could happen.

Sunday, January 29, 2012

The future is brighter than we thought

A few blogs back, I posted about some very ungrateful children who complained about the color of their iPhone that they got for Christmas.  At that time, I truly believed that this world was destined to be full of selfish, obnoxious brats that would throw me into a home without a moment's hesitation.  I thought we were doomed with dumber kids who cared more about fashion than phonics.  Today, I had nursery duty at church.  I have to say that the future is a lot brighter than first anticipated.  We had six kids in the nursery and they were all so wonderful to work with.  They were bright, intelligent, well mannered, and respectful.  The oldest in the group was 4 I think and the youngest was just over a year old.  They were playing, frolicking, and just being what they were, children.  It's a blessing to watch kids nowadays.  They have an innocence about them that is hard to explain.  They share whatever is on their heart.  They can make a game out of anything.  Two little girls made the crib a clubhouse.  The young one helped me put together a floor puzzle.  It was so cute to see her try to sound out the numbers on the hopscotch puzzle.  The kids all hugged the young one for her helping to clean up.  They all drew some pretty cool pictures of their families.  Some, I couldn't tell who was who, but they were artistic nonetheless.  It's pretty awesome to see some kids actually enjoy each other's company and respect adults put in charge of them at that young of an age.  Although I have to say my top moment was when I was playing with the pop up toy, and I wasn't sure what kind of animal popped up.  The child who was about 3 I guess says, "It's a giraffe.  Come on Tyrone."  No giraffes have round heads, so I think I have a case.  Point being, enjoy the kids.  They're our future.  Teach them stuff.  Share your life with them.  I suggest every person find a kid and be good to them.  It's the only way we can weed out the jerky, selfish, obnoxious ones that have infiltrated our fair world.

Saturday, January 28, 2012

Random Musings

I don't really have a particular topic to talk about, so I'll just ramble about whatever is on my mind.  Be careful, things could switch in an instant.

Being hurt stinks.  I suggest not getting hurt in your life.  Just avoid it all together.

Sheetz makes some banging wings.  They're kind of high dollar, but they're worth it.  Plus if you add a double dark chocolate make-your-own shake, you're pretty much in heaven.

If there is anything that you should do if you live in or around Roanoke, go to Second Helpings.  I got three really nice sweaters for $14.00.  Seriously can't beat that.

I love Winter X Games, so much fun.  I couldn't do anything there, but I'd do it if I could.  Maybe if they created a Snow Angel making event, I'd win.  I mean seriously, who makes a better snow angel than me?

I should seriously consider secretly recording my roommate Eddie and writing a book about his random musings.  That's after the T-Bone project ends.

Speaking of, I still need to draw the pictures for that book.  The book is all done, but kids love pictures.  Actually, adults like pictures too.  No one reads magazines for the articles.

I'm reading Uncle Tom's Cabin with my Google Books.  I suggest everyone reading it at least once.  It's a raw and real depiction of slavery and the mindsets of people in the mid-1800s.

I don't understand how people can beg and plead for something, then when that something comes, ignore it and shy away from it.  It's like asking for a new car, getting the new car, then telling the car that it's a nice car, but you'd rather drive the jalopy over there.

Friend Zone, that unenviable place where your kindness can't quite overcome some particular circumstance about you.  It can be looks, financial situation, or some other superficial trait.  There are ways to leave the Friend Zone, however face lifts are expensive and bank robbery is illegal.  So, there's really no way out of it.

Australia needs to trade places with Rhode Island.  Missing the Australian Open because I'm asleep when it's on is not a good look.

I love my mom, she's great.  However my mom has to learn that everything smaller than a car shouldn't automatically cost 5 bucks or less.

I would suggest watching "Firefly".  Has that dude from Castle in it.  It was aired in 2002, very good show that shouldn't have been cancelled.

Anyone want to treat me to Buffalo Wild Wings on February 4 to see Nick Diaz vs Carlos Condit?  I was going to take a small trip for my birthday, but circumstances are slowly telling me that it could be the personification of a fruitless endeavor.

Red Bull is the grossest stuff.  Their commercials are the only reason they're worth anything.

Williamson Road sidewalks are absolutely deadly.  Sometimes, they elevate and you can trip without noticing.  I almost ate the concrete at least 4 times.  I did get good exercise.

I think my bathroom needs a good cleaning.  I'll get on it soon, I promise.

I can't work my fireplace.  I'd ask the landlord, but he's as effective as a one-legged man in a butt-kicking contest.

I love my friends.  They're good people.  And apparently, they love my blog.  Why am I not famous yet?

I'd love to live in Colorado.  The mountains are pretty, the Winter X Games are there, and Tebow.  Who doesn't love Tebow, besides Atheists and Steeler fans?

Real talk, winning someone's heart without money for flowers or guitar playing skills is very tough.  Sweet words only go so far.  One day, I'll figure this out.

Don't have much else on the mind.  I'll rant more about one of these topics.  Leave a comment if you want me to expound on something in here.  Also, subscribe to my blog so you'll get emails exactly when I post the blog.

Friday, January 27, 2012

If it's so good...

I often wonder why people put so much into other people; outside of the whole common decency, and it's what God asked for of course.  Why is it that when we meet or see someone we find to be extraordinary, we kind of lose our marbles?  It's like all of a sudden, everything goes all blurry and you don't know your left from that other direction.  And Lord help you if you put all that emotion and thought into that person and there's no reciprocity (thank you Lauryn Hill).  Slightly confusing how you think you're doing the right thing, and then it call goes haywire.  I think we learn so much from these moments.  We learn that we can be vulnerable and still be strong.  In fact, strength makes these vulnerable moments an even tougher pill to swallow.  Also the vulnerability can eventually make us stronger.  When you put yourself out there, there are two ways it can go: blooming success or massive failure.  I haven't really thought about a middle ground because I've never really come across that sacred place between sadness and adulation.  I wish there was some way to put yourself out there without being out there.  A way to get all your emotions out without the risk of being exposed.  It's baffling how being completely honest can mess things up.  I know I blogged before about the virtues of honesty, but here's one of the drawbacks.  You are at the complete and utter mercy of the person you're being honest with.  So, what to do, what to do.  Go for it, my fear of risks be derned.  You never know what may happen.  Even if something bad happens, you'll become better for it.

Thursday, January 26, 2012

Of all the things...

Yesterday's blog was about my fear of taking risks.  My fear of just being defeated with absolutely no control of it frightens me.  Today, I had a conversation about my fear of risks and other fears that I have.  I figured I'd just list them for everyone.  I'm not afraid of sharing my life with people, so it's not really any skin off my back.  In fact if more people were willing to share their vulnerabilities with others, there would be a lot more understanding and friendships among people.

1. Clowns
Pretty much everyone knows that there is one thing I can't stand, it's clowns.  Clowns are scary looking.  They give me the willies like nothing on this earth.  I cringe when I see them at the circus.  Last year I went to the circus and couldn't watch the clowns.  However, it goes deeper.  I have worked for the county school system for a few years now.  I worked in a preschool one year and a parent who loved to help out in the classroom decided to dress like a clown.  It took every bit of me not to throw red Kool-Aid upon her.  I composed myself just enough to tell her, "look, I know who you are and you're awesome for doing this.  However I'm mortified of clowns and I'm going to need you to go to the other side of the table for this party.  Thank you again."  Even if I know who you are, you can even tell me an hour or so beforehand that you're going to dress like a clown; once I see you're a clown...Katie bar the door.  Do people still even say that?

2. Bees
This also goes towards all types of flying, stinging creatures such as wasps and yellow jackets.  This is a direct result of being chased and stung by 7 wasps after taking a seat on a bench at the marina where my grandparents' houseboat was docked.  I sat down, they stung me, and I ran down the dock past the riverside restaurant screaming like a blooming idiot.  That wasn't the first time I was stung by a wasp.  The first time, a wasp got into my grandparents' houseboat and stung me on the shoulder.  I hate those things.  I remember standing outside in 101 degree heat not going inside because there was a bee floating by my front door.  If I see bees, I'm going the other way.  Do not care about anyone else's well being at that point.

3. Escalators
I don't know why, but those things give me the creeps.  I think it stems from my overexposure to Looney Tunes cartoons.  I saw a character, I think it was Daffy Duck, get sucked into the escalator and I was pretty much done with those things.  If I have to choose between stairs or escalator, you had better believe I'm doing the steps.  People ask if I would go down a broken escalator.  Not at all.  What if it restarts?

4. Heights
I have to preface this by saying that's it's only unsecured heights.  I can handle being up high if I know I'm locked into something.  Roller coasters and being in an airplane don't really bother me.  If I'm on a high bridge or ski lift, I don't mind that either.  However if I'm standing on a ladder or chair with nothing holding me up, I'm done.  How wimpy can I be?  I'm a shade under 6'5" and I can't stand being too high up.

Fear is a thing that we all have.  I don't think it's wrong to have fear.  It's a natural emotion.  We're allowed to have apprehension.  However fear is something we can overcome with God's help and a willingness to be brought towards our fears.  Never forget that we can overcome all with God.

Wednesday, January 25, 2012

I hate risks

I guess I know why I don't gamble too much.  I've only played the lottery three times in my.  Once when I got free tickets for looking at cars that I couldn't afford.  I won 4 bucks.  The second time, I found the tickets on the ground unscratched.  The third time, I won them in a Dirty Santa game with co-workers.  Yes, people traded me lottery tickets for a coffee mug.  Be that as it may, I don't do a lot of gambling.  I don't take a lot of risks.  Maybe it's because I hate to lose.  Possibly because I don't like what could happen.  I'm not a fan of putting money on certain sports teams.  Needless to say, my apprehension with gambling goes beyond money.  I'm okay with sharing my feelings if I know I'm right and what will happen next.  I'm okay with putting my opinions on this thing because ultimately, I control my thoughts.  However when it comes to sharing my feelings and leaving the results in someone else's hands, that scares the you know what out of me.  I don't know if I just am scared of the results.  I don't know if I'm nervous over being wronged.  It's the reason I can count on one hand how many times I've had true feelings for someone.  I really hate having all my efforts be in vain.  It's a pet peeve of mine.  However sometimes you have to swallow that pride and that apprehension and go for it.  Yes, I am basically talking to myself.  This is me telling me to go for whatever it is I have to go for and let the consequences be derned.  Mom's reading this, can't be swearing.  What will happen, I really don't know.  Just have to trust that everything will work out for the best.  Fear must be beaten.  Lucky for me, I have a hard time fearing things for longer than a minute.  Except escalators...those things will never be not scary.

On a completely unrelated side note, how did Detroit get a hold of 214 million dollars with their economy?

Tuesday, January 24, 2012


Actually, I'm a little late with the milestone.  It happened a couple of weeks ago I think.  However, I feel like it's a good day to acknowledge it.  I reached 1,000 pageviews of my blog.  It may not be a big deal to most, but it's a big deal to me.  Over the course of this blog, it has been read by many many friends and even friends of friends.  It's kind of cool to be semi-famous.  I should be used to it.  I was on Wheel of Fortune and all.  I should be used to fame and notoriety.  It's cool to be able to share my thoughts and musings with the world.  My blog has been viewed in Russia, Canada, and Slovenia.  That's kind of cool to think about.  I'm not sure if people just lied about their location, of if by some crazy coincidence, people all over the world found my blog just perusing the Internet.  Point being, I'm really happy that this blog has reached people.  I promise to continue to bring the great musings to the world.  I have a lot stuff on my mind.  There are tons of dumb people, dumb ideas, and dumb things happening all over the world to not have a good blog.  I'll offend someone.  I always do.  Opinions that are educated are usually offensive.  I'll call out people for hypocrisy, present company included.  I'll never let people get away with injustices in the world.  There will always be a voice for the voiceless.  A man of the people, I shall be.  If I lived in China, I'd be in jail.  If I were in North Korea, I'd be exiled.  Since I'm just on the Internet, I'll get called bad names.  I can handle that.  I'm a big boy.  One thousand whole pageviews, incredible.

Monday, January 23, 2012

You're trapped

Well the Super Bowl is all set.  Which means that all those that hate football will be trapped into wall to wall coverage of the Super Bowl.  For those who hate both teams in the Super Bowl, that would be me, we're going to have to come up with some sort of game plan to keep ourselves from being absolutely bombarded.  So here are some suggestions for how to combat all the Super Bowl coverage you're trapped in.

1.  Watch Highlights of Your Favorite Team
With the advent of YouTube and other streaming websites, there is always some kind of available video of your favorite team.  There are highlights, for some teams like the Minnesota Vikings that covers about a minute or two, that you can re-live and enjoy over and over again.  Enjoy what your team did for the season.  Look at statistics and watch some incredible games that your team may have participated in over the course of the season and beyond.

2. Mock Bandwagoners.
If there is one thing for certain, the Super Bowl teams will have an abundance of bandwagoners.  Test them.  Ask them questions about their "favorite" team.  If they take longer than 20 seconds to answer, they aren't a fan or they're using Wikipedia.  Laugh at them.  Post Facebook statuses about their fair weather behavior.  Don't be afraid to call them out by name, too.  Trust me, I know someone who was cheering for the Saints a week ago.  Now they're Giants fans.  Silly kids.

3. Prepare Yourself for Commercials
If there is one thing about the Super Bowl that is worth watching no matter what, it's the commercials.  I mean, a commercial relaunched Betty White's career.  Enjoy commercials and be prepared for some good ones.  Bud Light, Doritos, and E Trade usually kill it.  That baby cracks me up.  There's also a show online that you can watch that replays all the commercials.  Avoid the Go Daddy commercials, that's a waste of time.

4. Celebrate My Birthday
Funny Story:  My birthday is the same day as the Super Bowl.  February 5, 2012, I will be turning 29 years and 36 months.  Have a Tyrone Dudley Party.  Dance to old Motown songs, crack open a Yoo Hoo, and order tons of chicken wings from random places.  In fact, I'd suggest taking me out to dinner.  I'd suggest buying me something awesome to commemorate this momentous occasion.  I'd adjust all the calendars at your workplace, put posters on your fridge, and really get your life away from Super Bowl coverage.

There you go.  Some tips for how to keep your sanity during all this Super Bowl coverage.  Trust me, you will be over run with it, and you can't avoid it.  It's like a semi-truck going 100 MPH downhill.  Do these things, and you will have a fairly happy life for February 5, 2012.

Sunday, January 22, 2012

Leaving a Legacy

Today was a great day at church.  We had a deacon ordination and installation service.  Eleven men of God were called to perform a great duty for our church.  Today's service kind of put things in perspective for me.  It made me wonder if I'm leaving a great legacy.  Often times, people tell me this or that about me.  It feels nice.  Brings me joy to know that I'm mildly liked and somewhat respected.  I think about these great men of God who chose to take the path of church deacon and wonder if I'm doing what I need to do to be seen as a great man of God.  I know that you're not supposed to do things for the glory of man, however I also want people to know that I did love God when I'm long gone from not just this world, but from any place I've been.  I think about the recent passing of Joe Paterno.  His legacy for the first 84 1/2 years of his life were that he was a great football coach, a contributor to his university, and a humanitarian.  However the last 3 months have been filled with turmoil to the point where people question his ethics and morals.  I don't want that to be the case for me.  I want people to know that I made a positive difference for the world.  I don't want one screw up to be the place people go when they say, "Hey, what about that Tyrone Dudley?"  So I'm making it my goal to always be the positive influence I need to be.  I will make it a point to be a blessing to everyone I know, meet, and come in contact with.  I'm not sure exactly what I will do specifically.  I don't really have a game plan.  No one really does in these types of things.  I just know that I want to leave the world a better place than when I found it.  Of course if I had my druthers, that would include Ke$ha being banned from the radio and any "emo" band being sent through extensive musical training to sing something delightful.  And of course Crystal Pepsi comes back to us.  Beyond those trivial things, I can't think of what I would do.  I am going to ask God for ways to be a better person than I am and for ways to make where I am better.  I want my legacy to be one where they say, "Tyrone Dudley made me a better person and this a better place."  I'm sure I'll be successful at it.  Outside of throwing a football with a tight spiral, I'm pretty good at everything I do.

Saturday, January 21, 2012

Enough is Enough

I'm starting to get annoyed.  There are some people out there that have forgotten how to be respectful.  It's been going on since the 80s, maybe even longer than that.  The 70s were before my time.  Seems as if people have forgotten how to respect those who God has put in authority over us.  Particularly speaking, the Office of the President of the United States.  It seems like it's become kind of common for people to mock, ridicule, and search for imperfections of those in charge of our country.  It's getting quite maddening.  A picture has been kind of circulating around with President Obama not putting his hand over his heart for National Anthem.  I've looked at websites about this practice.  The only thing that is for certain is that your hand should be over your heart for the Pledge of Allegiance.  If you're in the military, you should salute the flag when the Anthem is played.  For certain, you should remove your hat for the Anthem.  For certain, you shouldn't be laughing when someone sings the Anthem in a less than fair manner.  For certain, you shouldn't be texting or talking.  I'm highly bothered that people are so willing to claim the President as an America-hating, non-patriotic person because he stood in reverence to the flag without his hand to his heart.  It's not just that, though.  It's the hateful things that I've heard said about pretty much every president since I was born.  People call Reagan a racist who brought drugs to the inner city so he could wipe out the black people.  It's the people who continuously glorify Bill Clinton's improprieties in his marriage instead of being happy that he brought our country into a surplus.  George W. Bush gets consistently called a liar and a cheat instead of commended for how he comforted our country during its greatest tragedy since the Pearl Harbor.  It's about time we stop trying to find ways to criticize our leadership and start praying for them.  Stop being so divisive and start being unified again.  If you don't agree with something the President did, that's not a reason to mock him and call him "unpatriotic" or "buffoon" or "idiot."  They have done far more in their education than you have.  It's about time you respected that.  When was the last time you had to lead an entire country through terrible economic times?  That's what I thought.

As you can see, our presidents are human...just like you.

Friday, January 20, 2012

How Long Should Loyalty Last

I've really noticed something about life.  Loyalty helps further a lot of friendships.  Loyalty breeds trust.  I've also noticed that most of the loyal people on this planet are giving their loyalty to people who aren't quite grateful for said loyalty.  I consider it a waste of energy to show loyalty to those who won't return the favor.  However, we're commanded by God to love and forgive everyone.  It makes me wonder if I'm doing right by avoiding those who are truly not devoted to loving people back.  Then I think about how Jesus forgave everyone that has lived, will live, and are living now.  So what do I do?  I think you just have to pick your battles.  You have to decide at what cost do you share your loyalty.  I think there is a middle ground.  Somewhere between forgiving those who wronged you and being smart enough to not go all in on someone.  However, my complaint really isn't about giving loyalty.  It's about what others do with that loyalty.  Look, if you have someone in your life that is good to you; that will bend over backwards to make you happy.  The least you can do is return the favor.  Be grateful for what they have been and done for you.  I've seen so many people do any and all things for others and the recipient just ignored them and took them for granted.  That's weak sauce.  Come on, you mean to tell me you can't send a thank you phone call or a hug?  I mean, at what point do you realize that you've got it better than pretty much anyone?  Maybe if they sell all their possessions, give you the profit, and then maybe just maybe you might say, "oh wow, you're nice."  Stop being a jerk.  Be a good person and respect those who would do anything for you.  You'll never have it like this.  And if someone does decide to forgive you for being an ungrateful turd, you'd better kiss their feet and love them three times as much as they love you.  Because you'll never miss your water till the well runs dry.

Thursday, January 19, 2012

Shut down

Yesterday, there was a demonstration all over the Internet.  It involved the new SOPA and PIPA laws being brought to Congress.  The laws are basically being brought in to stop online piracy.  You see, tons of awful music and terrible movies are being shared on the Internet for free.  The government wants to stop the websites  that perform this activity so that the record companies and movie studios can get all the money they wasted back.  When you spend millions of dollars on terrible things, you want to recoup as much as humanly possible.  Someone has to pay for all those auto-tuned artists out there, so why not the longsuffering customer?  I will preface by saying that stealing copyrighted materials is wrong and should not be done. However it seems as if the government is kind of missing the boat on this.  The law they're trying to pass isn't just going to stop websites from distributing copyrighted products.  This also says that if a copyrighted product ends up on a website like YouTube, Facebook, or other huge sites, the website can be shut down without due process.  It means that if I mention a particular product (see my blog about Firehouse Subs), the big wigs of the Internet can shut down my blog and throw me in jail for 5 years.  I've seen a few references to this, but basically I'd be in jail longer for playing a Michael Jackson video than killing Michael Jackson accidentally.  I think they should rethink this.  Seems like they're bringing a bazooka to a water gun fight.  There's no need to ruin everything because of a few pirates out there.  Considering how much theft the American Government is guilty of stealing from and ruining the budget, you'd think they'd try to figure out how to stop piracy without destroying everything we hold dear.  Look, there's no two ways about it, the Internet is an important part of our daily lives.  People use the Internet to communicate, pay bills, and other essential things.  It's not fair that everyone has to be on pins and needles because of some websites' inability to follow the law and have respect for those who work hard to produce the items that are being stolen.  I'm not going to tell you what to do as far as how you should get involved.  It's your life.  If you feel like this is something worth fighting for, then by all means, go get a petition and sign it.  I'm not sure how the ending will turn out.  I do know that I'll have to be fairly careful about what I access and what I use on a daily basis.  I think the worst part is the lack of due process needed.  The fact that the government can shut down something without warning scares me.  Actually it shouldn't.  These final days are pretty much all about shutting down people's ability to think for themselves.  America was just late to the party compared to China and North Korea.  Read Revelation, people.  It's chock full of things that are kinda sorta happening right now.

Wednesday, January 18, 2012

No Wimps Allowed

Dear people.  I ask you to be please consider not being a wuss anymore.  Stop being offended by simple phrases and statements.  It's getting ridiculous.  It's gotten to the point where people have to filter themselves twenty times before saying what they want to say.  And by then, it's not anything like what they wanted to say.  I think the trend of political correctness has gotten out of hand.  I remember posting a blog about the Jets quarterback who pretty called out his team as being uninspired at times.  All of the football players and analysts were disturbed and mad at the player for saying these things.  What happened to being honest?  What happened to players being upset that their fellow players WEREN'T PLAYING HARD!?!?  Now we have to keep it in house and don't upset the whole team with the truth.  It's gets better.  A teacher was reprimanded and up for termination for posting on her facebook about the kids in her class being future criminals after day where she was assaulted by her students and had her property stolen by a student.  I guess she was wrong in the fact that they already were criminals, no need for the future.  How about defending the teacher's right to be able to teach a class without having to worry about getting beaten up or having something stolen?  It's ridiculous that you have to censor yourself on your personal social media outlet.  Yes I know that parents can see things, but parents need to see things sometimes.  They sure as heck aren't seeing it at home.  In a county not far from me in Virginia, there was complaints about the Ten Commandments being posted at a school.  Hmm, telling people that stealing is wrong, how could they?  It's obnoxious to me that someone who had no stake in the school whatsoever started this war, claiming that rights were being violated.  It gets better, some talk had been made to make preaching in church a hate crime if they mention a particular lifestyle as a sin.  No particular lifestyle, but any lifestyle that may be considered not of God.  That's a private church, it can say what it wants.  Plus, it's God's word, take it up with Him.  For someone to tell God what He can and cannot have preached out of His word is kind of a bad move.  I think the biggest deal is just the way we have to curb our words all the time now just to keep a particular group from feeling slighted.  I'm not saying we go about saying hurtful things to people just for the sake of saying it, but I am talking about turning off our sensitive button and living life with little care as to what's said to or about you.  Let's bring back the adult who sees a child acting up and tells the kid to act right instead of cowering and shaking their head to themselves.  Please people, stop being so sensitive.  Stop wishing for peace on earth.  It can only happen with Jesus, and we all know how you sensitive people feel about Him....

Tuesday, January 17, 2012

I've Matured, I'm proud of me

I'm proud of myself.  I usually am, but today's special.  Usually when my favorite team loses, I'm a blithering idiot.  I get mad.  I avoid people and places.  I just despise anything I'm a part of.  However this Sunday, my beloved Packers went down in the playoffs.  I handled it quite well.  I didn't fuss.  I didn't complain.  I didn't make excuses.  I just shrugged it off and went about my business.  I don't know what's happened.  I mean I still love my Packers, but what in the world is happening to my sports love.  It's becoming more dignified.  I'm respectable.  Funny enough, there are sports fans older than me that act less mature.  I don't really understand it.  But enough about other people, it's about me.  I didn't get to see all the game, but I'm sure if I watched it, I'd have just said, "man, we're not doing so hot."  There are other things that I'm doing in life that I wouldn't have done 5 years ago.  I made my own spaghetti with a pasta maker last night.  That's insane.  I used to laugh at people who made their own foods like spaghetti.  Now, I'm all about some homemade foods.  I want to make my own everything: breads, sausages, and others.  I mean seriously, homemade stuff is awesome.  I'm growing up.  I also started a spreadsheet for my personal budget.  I've never done that.  It's incredible how I love looking at receipts and checking on what I spend my money on.  I know exactly how much is coming and going now.  I like projecting my spending and seeing how below or above I go each month.  It's quite a good feeling, knowing I'm becoming a big boy.  I'm also looking for deals and couponing a bit.  Actually, now that I think about it...I'm becoming a woman.  What is all this care about my image and how I do things?  I need a steak.  I need to fart on command again.  This is getting crazy.  I'm giving sage advice to people instead of telling them to suck it up.  What is happening to me?  The worst part about this, there isn't a woman I'm trying to impress with this stuff.  I am losing a grip on myself.  Oh gracious, me.  Oh gosh, there I go again...

Monday, January 16, 2012

A Long Way to Go

Today is a significant holiday here in America.  It's the commemoration of the birthday of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.  I did a blog a few days ago about Lee-Jackson Day and how it did more harm than good.  I'm thinking the biggest bother to me was the idea that these two days were combined at one point.  However, I'm not here to vilify a holiday.  I want to ask a question of people.  Are we truly doing what Dr. King asked?  Yes we've desegregated schools, killed the idea of what water fountains certain people can use, and where people are allowed to sit on a bus.  I question if that's all Dr. King asked.  I think there is a lot more that can be done to bring peace and equality to America.  Here are a few things that bother me about our society that I think Dr. King would take umbrage with as well.

1. Race Roles
Seems like if a white kid embraces hip hop culture, he's labeled a wannabe.  Also seems that if a black person wants to get good grades in school, he's a sellout.  It's as if someone wrote some kind of rule book that tells which race what they can and can't do.  I don't ever remember seeing that book.  If I want to use proper grammar when I speak, that's my right.  If a kid who grew up in the suburbs doesn't want to skateboard, who are you to tell them they're being a "wigger'?  Dr. King's vision was for people to understand what everyone else is living through.  I'm not saying embrace it, convert to it, or turn your back on your beliefs.  I do think Dr. King would be bothered by the constant criticism of people who step outside their "assigned" culture.

2. Snubbing of Education
This is particularly true of African Americans.  It seems as if the advancement of black people is a hindrance to black people more than anyone else at times.  I don't know how many times I see or hear a black person call another black person a "sell out" because they enjoy being educated.  It's as if getting good grades takes away your blackness all of a sudden.  Why in the world would being ahead of those who you think hold you down be a bad thing?  It's as if black people would rather be held down by the man so they can have an excuse to not succeed.  I'm sorry, no one is holding me back from success.  Especially not those who would rather me fail.  Dr. King also felt that way, I'm sure.

3. Self Deprecation
Along those same lines, I see all races hurt each other in some way.  I see my Caucasian friends consider themselves at times "white trash."  That's a horrible depiction of yourself.  I see my people referring to themselves as the n-word and as thugs.  Why would you do that?  Dr. King never wanted us to call ourselves by that name, nor would he call any white person "trash".

4. Quick Judgment
I was watching an episode of one of my favorite shows, "The Boondocks" and the episode was about what would happen if Dr. King were alive today.  He woke up from a coma and proceeded to see what is happening in America today.  One of the things that happened was an interview with him on CNN.  The interviewer asked him what should happen to those who perpetrated the 9/11 attacks.  His answer was, "I think we should try to forgive them."  Ummm, God forgave us from horrible crimes, still does.  However in the show, America was outraged and considered Dr. King a Muslim sympathizer and un-American.  If we're going to fight to put "In God We Trust" on our money and "One Nation Under God" in our Pledge of Allegiance, then surely we can put God's idea of forgiveness on our hearts.  I'm not saying we don't fight for our country, but we also can't forget that we as Americans can get a little headstrong in how we handle a little adversity.  Not saying 9/11 was small, but we were so ready to rip anything with a turban on in half that we forgot to remember that not everyone from the Middle East was involved in the attack.  I think Dr. King would have been supportive of the war in Afghanistan, but also would have wanted everything that went into the wars in Afghanistan and Iraq to be shared with us.

Look, we've come a long way considering where our country was over 200 years ago.  Minorities and women are not second class citizens anymore.  We have a man of color as our President.  There are minorities running and coaching sports teams.  We have a lot of wonderful things in our society that we are doing.  However we have a long way to go.  There are people who haven't grasped the full concept of Dr. King's dream.  The dream that people are judged on the content of their character is still pretty far off as of now.  There are still people who clutch their belongings when a person doesn't look like them walks by.  There are people who speak a little slower just to help those that are a little darker understand them.  When I read a story about a woman who looks like they're from the Middle East getting dragged off a plane and held in a jail for hours, away from her family simply because another woman on the plane saw her on a phone shortly before take-off, makes me wonder how hard Dr. King would have slapped his own forehead.  We've a long way to go to achieve that dream.  The day off means nothing if you're not living out the dream.

Sunday, January 15, 2012

How thankful are we?

Around the Christmas holiday, I came across a facebook post about some tweets (I think that's what you call them) by kids and their Christmas presents.  What I read was shocking.  There were posts about how parents were so stupid for not getting them a white iPod instead of black.  One girl complained that she wanted a car AND an iPhone and not just a car.  One child was mad that they got a BMW and not a Mercedes.  It absolutely made me want to puke.  To see the ungratefulness of children over colors of music players, types of 30 thousand dollar cars, and the exclusion of high dollar items in addition to other high dollar items.  I really wish I had the parents' email addresses and could mail these posts to them.  Let them see that their money went in vain.  If I were their parent, first of all you wouldn't get half that junk from me anyway.  However hypothetically speaking, if I were their parent, they would lose everything but their mattress.  They'd have to come to me for ANYTHING.  I'd actually consider making their toilet and showers coin operated so that they really understand that nothing should be taken for granted.  There is so much ungratefulness in this world today.  There are so many things that we have that we don't deserve.  There is nothing on this planet that I am entitled to outside of fresh air, and that's getting pretty scarce too.  What happened to, "wow, thanks mom"?  Where is the, "I'm happy to have this"?  It's gone.  It's been replaced with, "I deserve more, more, more!"  I urge people who are in positions to give and take, basically parents, to teach your kids some thankfulness.  Show them what it could be like.  Take them to a homeless shelter or a soup kitchen.  Share with them what you did to obtain the things you have in life.  Growing up, I didn't have everything I wanted, I had everything I needed.  I'm so thankful that my mom told me, in her own way, what she went through growing up.  I'm even more thankful for my grandparents telling me what they used to do growing up.  My grandfather's stories of working hard, and getting fired a lot as a kid, showed me that nothing is permanent.  I should always work hard.  I could work harder in life, I'm sure.  No one is perfect in that regard.  I do think that there is a serious lack of gratefulness.  If there are kids reading this, thank your parents for what you have.  Give them a hug and say, "you know what mom, dad, you're great.  Thanks."  It can't hurt to show a little thanks for all you have.  Oh gosh, someone please find the email addresses of thos ungrateful kids' parents.  I'm begging you to let me have like 10 minutes with all the stuff they're NOT happy about.  I'll put a blowtorch to it all and make snow angels in the ashes while they cry and probably swear at me.  You folks know I'll do it too.

Saturday, January 14, 2012

Pretty Awesome

I have found the holy grail.  Well it's not that holy, and outside of its purpose, it's not much of a grail either.  I took a shopping trip this afternoon.  Before I went into the Kroger, I went to Firehouse Subs to get a meal since my shopping usually lasts no more than 20 minutes and the bus wasn't due for an hour.  Anyway, I saw the greatest invention ever.  The soda fountain.  Not just any soda fountain, the Freestyle Coke Soda Fountain. It has a gorgeous touch screen and multiple choices.  First of all, I got the drink that makes me smile the most that's not a Yoo-Hoo, a Vanilla Coke.  Vanilla Coke is like joy in carbonated form.  I thought that it couldn't get any better.  However I took a second shot at the machine and went for something obscure.  I found Sprite with Vanilla.  I'm thinking to myself, there is no way they coupld possibly blend vanilla with lemon-lime goodness successfully.  It was awesome.  It tasted like a carbonated lemon sherbet.  Anyone with a taste bud knows how awesome the sherbet is.  I will defintely be frequenting this place more often.  In fact, I will combine every possibly drink known to man to create the Ultimate Coke.  Will not be using diet, though.  I'm anti-diet anything.  That goes for light and zero as well.  I'm sure they'll create a cutoff limit soon enough and name it after me.  It'll be called the Tyrone.  The machine will flash my face on the screen with the words "YOU'VE BEEN TYRONE'D!!!"  I can see the headlines now, "Local Man Dragged Out of Sub Shop for Refusal to Leave Soda Fountain."

Only in America.

Friday, January 13, 2012

Help me with this

There are plenty of rituals here in Virginia that I have yet to understand.  I think of the absolute obsession that is Virginia Tech football.  I see people who I had known to be kind, good folks become hateful, vengeful, and grudge holding morons at the simple thought of another team being better.  I grew up in South Carolina.  That stuff just isn't a big deal.  Yes, we love our Gamecocks and Tigers, but we never really get too bothered by a loss.  We don't hold on to grudges when our teams lose.  However that's not what my blog is about.  Sorry for the tangent.  I guess I could just delete it, but it's my blog.  It stays.  What I want to discuss is something I discovered back around 2009 or so.  When discussing the day off I was getting soon for Martin Luther King Jr Day, someone suddenly said, "Lee-Jackson Day."  Me being me, I asked, "Who is Lee Jackson and what did he do?"  I was told that it was the holiday created to celebrate Generals Robert E. Lee and Stonewall Jackson.  I dismissed it and went on about my business.  However it seems to be a bigger deal than I wanted to give it credit for.  Considering I'm from South Carolina, the state that believes the Civil War is still at halftime, I didn't see it as a big enough deal.  However, it's huge here in Virginia.  Again, it's only celebrated in Virginia and isn't a major holiday.  If the banks don't close, it's not a big deal.  That's how I see it.  So my question is, why is this day such a big deal?  Why are people in Virginia, and anywhere in the south for that matter, so obsessed with the Civil War and in particular the Confederacy?  Now if I'm not mistaken, the Confederacy wanted to leave the United States of America.  They wanted to make their own country and destroy what George Washington, Benjamin Franklin, Thomas Jefferson, and others fought so hard for just 100 years earlier.  Not to mention the ideals of the Confederacy.  Most Confederate sympathizers will tell you that the war was for States' rights.  However most people with a modicum of intelligence know that the right that the Confederacy was after was the right to have slaves.  Not just that, but also the right to consider anything not Caucasian to be less than human.  How can anyone want to support that.  Yes it's true that ending slavery wasn't Abraham Lincoln's biggest priority.  In fact, it's worth noting that Lincoln said that if he could end this split of the Union without ending slavery, he would have done so.  In the end, Lincoln felt that slavery was a hindrance to the unity of the nation and went the way of abolishing slavery.  However, back to the issue, why are people in the south so down with two men who fought to reduce Africans to nothing but property?  Who really thinks it's okay to support two men whose biggest contribution to this country's history was trying to make the country history?  Makes you think.  Look at all the wonderful things that have happened to this country because of its existence.  We've won wars, expanded our country, and become the greatest country in the world.  We almost lost that opportunity because of this war.  And you can give it all the fancy names you want, it's still the worst war ever.  When a country fights itself, it's never good.  To celebrate people instrumental to the destruction of your country is foolhardy at best.   Here's my biggest issue, they lost.  Now you can look at the history of sports for this.  Since when did losers get celebrated?  When the Steelers lost to the Packers in the last Super Bowl, I don't think Pittsburgh had a parade.  When the Rangers lost the World Series, they didn't spray champagne on themselves.  So why is it that when two people tried to destroy this country and failed miserably at it, we have a day to celebrate their "contributions"?  I know I'm going to upset some of my Confederate sympathizer friends, but I don't care.  It's fact that this isn't a huge enough deal to warrant celebration.  The bank isn't closed, it's not a big deal.  Oh, and whoever thought it was a good idea to turn Martin Luther King Jr Day into Lee-Jackson-King Day in Virginia from 1984 till 2000, he/she should be checked for stupid pill overdosing.  To those in the lower half of the Mason-Dixon Line, let go of the Confederate love.  It's over, there is no need to hold on anymore.  Yes, it's good to study Civil War history.  Yes, it's great to understand American history and what things should and shouldn't be done to make us better.  However to hold on to the ideals that almost destroyed this country, that's not a great look.

Thursday, January 12, 2012

To Be or Not to Be

I came across a video yesterday that really made me think.  The video has since become a private video, I'm assuming due to the backlash that came from it.  I'll give you the rundown.  A Girl Scout, probably in her mid to late teens, addressed her displeasure over some recent practices by the Girl Scouts USA organization.  The girl was upset over the recent admittance of transgendered people (I honestly am not sure what to call them) into the Girl Scouts.  She was concerned over boys dressed as girls being considered girls and being allowed in the club.  She gave some pretty good arguments as to why this should not happen, including the official by-laws of the Girl Scouts.  She asked those watching the video to boycott purchasing Girl Scout Cookies to send a message that transgendered people not be allowed into the organization.  I never really buy Girl Scout Cookies, so I really don't have a horse in this race.  And truth be told, Girl Scouts don't really frequent my neighborhood.  So, how do I feel about this whole thing?  I have always thought that Girl Scouts were inclusive, allowing anyone who wanted to be a part of the Girl Scouts the opportunity to do so.  However, my understanding of that is that you have to be girl.  I mean, it's in the name: Girl Scout.  Maybe I'm being a tad exclusive, but shouldn't that be the ultimate determinant to whether or not a person can be a Girl Scout?  I guess part of my opinion is based on the fact that I'm not totally understanding the difference between a transgendered person and a person who just wants to dress like the opposite gender.  I guess my main concern with this is that a boy can simply dress up like a girl, develop some sob story about always wanting to be a girl, and then infiltrate the Girl Scouts during things like sleepovers.  I know that's kind of extreme, but there are some really sick people who will do whatever they want to satisfy their vices.  I also get that transgendered people have a ton of things working against them.  They have crazy feelings they can't explain.  They have thoughts that I will not even try to understand because that would be an insult to them.  I don't know what parents of girls would think about a person who may or may not still be a boy joining something that they thought was just for girls. I guess my thought is, if a transgendered person is so confused about who they are and what they are about, selling cookies and getting merit badges should probably be the last thing on their mind.  They should be seeking counseling for the thoughts they're having.  They should be seeing someone about getting their minds completely understanding of who they are.  Not everyone is famous like Sonny and Cher's kid to be able to afford counseling, assistance, and surgery to deal with this issue.  Just don't bully them. I feel like that's the main issue that a person who has confusion like this would deal with.  It's not beyond the realm of possibility that young girls would completely shun a transgendered person once they found out that they actually don't have lady parts.  It's safe to say that they could be the victims of bullying, taunting, teasing, and maltreatment all because of who they are or are not.  And it's not too thoughtless to think that Girl Scouts could be included in that bullying scenario.  The fact that there are Girl Scouts who have opinions about this that don't seem to be simply, "ewww she's a boy, gross" makes me smile.  It means that the girl in the video is someone who put a lot of thought into her opinion.  I don't find her to be a bad person.  I applaud her for having the backbone to stand up for what she believes in and the ability to share it so intelligently.  Of course there is some backlash from some.  Some just think, "boo, she's a hater. she's intolerant."  I don't think she is, I think she just wants to preserve the mission of the organization she believes in so strongly.  Which means, that those cookie sales aren't in vain.

If you want to read the story yourself, click here.

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

I've noticed something

I try not to stereotype people too much in my life.  I concentrate on seeing even ground.  However I have to say that I've noticed something about white women that could become an epidemic.  It's only white women, so far at least.  These ladies have a thing for Pinterest.  Like black women love BET, white women love Pinterest. It used to be that you had to go to google.com to find cool pictures.  You had to go to ask.com to get some ideas.  Nowadays, at least in the last 5 months, there have been more facebook posts from Pinterest, and they're all from white women.  People get fashion tips, classroom ideas, and weird phrases all from this site.  It's cool and all, but there has to be more than just white women using this site.  I guess I should look for random things that is exclusive to one race/gender combination.  Of course I have to find non-offensive stereotypes.  White guys love John Deere.  Seriously, I've never seen a mower company get so much love.  It's a mower, people.  Relax.  I guess black guys are all about expensive haircuts.  I heard one brother paid like 400 dollars for his haircut.  And they're horrible.  You know those script designs in hair.  Sometimes they have weird designs and shapes cut into them.  I don't know who thinks that's a good idea, but it's not.  Black girls, like I said, they're addicted to BET.  My black female friends love that BET, especially that wretched show The Game with one of those Mowry twins.  I thought I was rid of it when the CW cancelled it.  Then BET goes and brings it back, what in the world.  I guess The Boondocks is right when it called it Black Evil Television.  Point being, we all have our idiosyncrasies and stereotypes that we actually do live out everyday.  Maybe I should do a blog about the different dance faces that races do.  Although I should try to find pictures to go with them.

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Bothersome Trend

Has anyone ever noticed something?  I think it's more sports related than anything else, but particularly mundane things have fallen victim to this epidemic.  It's called naming rights.  Basically, companies pay millions, sometimes billions of dollars for a building, entity, or idea to put their product in the name of it.  It's crazy how this is going on.  Buildings and stadiums now have products and companies all over them.  Places like the Louisiana Superdome is now called the Mercedes Benz Superdome.  That big stadium in Miami, used to be Joe Robbie Stadium, named after the original owner of the Dolphins.  Now it's called SunLife Stadium, after being called Pro Player Stadium and Land Shark Stadium.  Seriously?  I never know where anything is when they renamed all the old stadiums.  I was watching ESPN and even the press conferences have business names on them.  The little wall should have the name of the team on it, not the name of a bank and a donut chain.  Even the studios of one of my favorite radio stations is named after a bank, "from the something, something financial studios."  Wait, you mean a room with an equalizer and soundboard needs to be sponsored?  Kind of annoying.  The questions asked during SportsCenter now have a sponsor.  It's crazy how this just continues to happen.  You know, for such a recession, we sure do spend our hard earned cash on stupid things.  Yeah I'm sure this gets the company's name out there, but at what cost.  I mean it's truly mind boggling how they cry poor mouth and then spend oodles of dollars just to get a 2 second blurb on television, radio, or whatever.  No one says, "Hey, let's head over to Heinz Field to see a game."  They say, "Let's go see the Steelers."  If these companies were smart, like Red Bull is, they'll sponsor the actual team and be called the New York Red Bulls. Could you imagine the Portland Trail Blazers changing their name to the Portland Nikes?  On second thought, stick to the stadiums.  That would be a travesty.

Monday, January 9, 2012

I wonder

You know, I'm a fairly outspoken person. I say pretty much what is on my mind.  All my life, I've been that guy who people say, "oh my gosh, Tyrone, don't say that."  However, up until this point, it's never really gotten me in any physical danger.  I wonder why that is.  No one even challenges me to fisticuffs, much less comes at me. It's kind of cool to be able to say and do what I want with little to no concern for my physical well being.  I think there are a couple of factors that lead to that.  First of all, I'm huge.  I'm 6'4" (6'5" in my dress boots).  I'm around 205-215 depending on the time of year it is.  I guess that helps.  It also helps that I kind of avoid confrontation, not that I ever catch any.  I just don't bother trying to fight.  Yes I speak in my own terms, but it's not hurtful.  I guess when you speak your mind in love, it comes off as kind of funny.  I don't know if I could defend myself in a fight nowadays.  Actually, I take that back.  I could defend myself in a fight.  I cheat.  Yes I will kick a man in the no no spot and pull his hair without any hesitation.  I will poke a man in the eyes without second thought.  This is survival man, I got to keep myself alive.  All kidding aside, I'm really just a big softie.  I'm kind of a kid at heart.  I don't have time to take every crotch grabbing thug with an ego and a point to prove seriously.  You can threaten me, but unless you're a clown, a bumblebee, or an escalator, you're not scaring me any.  I'm also kind of sweet.  Well I've been kind of sweet lately.  I don't know what to say about that.  Point being, I'll treat you like gold and really don't want any trouble.  Although, I can say that I almost had to rescue a kid at a local establishment because another person had too much and wanted to fight a 9 year old. John Cena does evoke some emotions.  Anyway, I think I like being a sheep in wolf's clothing.  People don't want to mess with me because I'm bigger than them, and look tougher than them.  That's pretty awesome.  Although now I'm worried that my blog followers will try to challenge me to a fight.  Then I'd have to open up a can of whoop-butt on fans of my blog.  And I can't blog from jail.

Sunday, January 8, 2012

What a Tyrone Wants

In my life, I've been through a lot of romance and what not.  I've had girlfriends, dates, and crushes.  Although most of my crushes have been relegated to television newswomen and female professional wrestlers.  A lot of people think I need to hurry up and get married.  You know, make an honest man out of me.  I'm already honest, sometimes too honest.  So no woman is going to rescue me from dishonesty.  The worst problem is some people think they know exactly what my type is.  Actually if you ask my Caucasian friends what my type is, they'll tell you the first black female friend they have.  Hate to break it to you, but if you have "that one black girlfriend" that you think is perfect for "your one black friend Tyrone", you really don't know my type at all.  In fact, you're a horrible person for just thinking, "let's put black people together with no commonalities."  So today, I'm going to share with you, my type.  The type of girl that I am interested in so that you can properly hook a brother up.

1. They have to be Christian
Look, I'm all about tolerance and respecting other people.  However, don't be giving me some Muslim girl or some crazy Atheist that will just challenge everything I say.  I don't need that headache.  And if I were to agree with her, we'd both be wrong.  No thanks.  So if she loves Jesus, she can move on to the next phase.

2. They have to be not dumb
I'm not looking for a genius, per se.  I'm smart enough already.  However, I don't want someone who makes Snooki look like Screech.  I just want a girl that is able to tie her own shoes.  You'd be surprised how dumb some people can be.  The ones that keep running into walls and wondering why the wall won't move.  So, if you have a girl who is not dumb, move on to step three.

3. They have to be attractive
This goes back to that whole "first black girl you see being perfect for Tyrone" thing. Most of the time, you neglect physical attractiveness to keep the black thing perfect.  Not a good look.  I gots to be attracted to her.  It doesn't make me a bad person to like to look at who I'm kissing.  I'm a relatively attractive man, I expect the same for the person I end up marrying.

4. They have to be able to take and/or make a joke
I'm hilarious.  I should have gone into stand-up comedy, but I have nervous energy and I'd be dancing all over the stage.  I guess that would be funny too, but wouldn't really be effective comedy.  I playfully pick on many people I love, so she is going to have to be able to giggle and enjoy it.  She should also, but isn't required to, be able to horse around with me.  That means that if she passes gas, she should put her arms up in victory instead of pretend it was the invisible elephant under the couch.  Be funny, make me laugh.  Too many sticks in the mud nowadays.

5. Understand the toilet seat
If it's up, put it down.  You're not blind.  You're not disabled.  The seat weighs a pound and a half at best.  Quit complaining.

6. No jealousy
Look, I have a lot friends.  A healthy percentage of them are female.  I'm not interested in most of them as of now.  If I end up dating your female friend, the interest stops unless she shows herself to be a horrible girlfriend, then I'll dump her and move on.  I'm more loyal than a 3 legged dog.  I'll treat you like gold, however I will do what I can for other friends, female or male.  Don't be jealous, be thankful you have a man with a heart of gold.

7.  Be responsible
I dated a girl that basically wasn't good at taking responsibility for the bad things that happened to her.  She even threw me under the bus when she was having a really big issue happening to her.  I don't need that.  If something bad is happening to you, nine times out of ten, you brought it on yourself.  I'm okay with that fact, she should be too.  She should be able to be responsible for herself.  Take responsibility for your own actions.

8. Make sure my family likes you
If mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy.  If sister ain't happy, you're probably going to be paralyzed.

There you go, how to win my heart.  If you know anyone who can do this, get at me.  Send me their facebook, and/or show them this blog.

Saturday, January 7, 2012

We've got a long way to go

There have been so much progress in terms of race in America.  We think of Lincoln's Emancipation Proclamation during the Civil War Era.  We think of the Civil Rights Movement with Martin Luther King Jr and many others.  We think of the hiring of black coaches in college and professional sports.  However I can't help but wonder if we've really made headway.  It's not just a white people holding down black people kind of thing either.  Black people, sad to say, have been just as instrumental in the lack of headway.  In specific terms, I think of how quickly blacks are apt to mock one of their own for wanting to go to college, get good grades, work, or heaven forbid, use proper grammar.  White people aren't innocent in holding themselves down either. I don't know how many times a Caucasian is dressed in less than fashionable clothing and referred to as "white trash" or "trailer trash."  To call any person trash is ridiculously classless.  I question whether we've truly made an effort to improve race relations.  We can't say that we have when we can't even stop being racist towards ourselves.  I came across a video that I think the world should look at.  It concerns one of my favorite human beings on the planet and the backlash he gets on a constant basis.  This particular mindset had crossed my mind, however I didn't think anyone else noticed it.  I'll elaborate after:

Let me preface that I think very highly of Tim Tebow, and I believe that he is going to be a great player in the NFL.  However he has been given a lot more rope than a lot of quarterbacks that are pretty much exactly like him except that their black.  That's a deep video from the eyes of a man who lived through some pretty harsh times.  I agree with Kordell Stewart in that there seemed to be a lot more chances given to Caucasian quarterbacks as opposed to African-American quarterbacks in the NFL.  Now yes a lot of them have washed out and proven themselves to be lazy and not worthy of being in the league.  However it is very prevalent that some of the better African-American quarterbacks have been sent away completely for no really good explanation.   I can see the hurt in Kordell's eyes because as good as he was, he wasn't given a fair shake to prove himself.  My take is simple, there is so much racism everywhere, it sickens me.  Racism is the fault of pretty much anyone who doesn't do anything about it.  If you even think of someone as less than you, you're being racist, whether they're a different color or not.  With Martin Luther King Jr Day coming up, let's make a small attempt to respect everyone.  Make a small attempt to erase stigmas.  Be happy for someone who gets into college.  If someone is dressed less than fashionable, maybe they can't afford better clothes.  Buy them some nice clothes if it's so important to you that everyone in your race be fashion conscious.  If someone uses better grammar than you, try reading a book so you can communicate instead of calling him disparaging names.  If a guy makes money by getting a job, don't call him a sell out.  Ask him if there are any openings.  

Sorry all my blogs have been about some kind of sports thing lately, but sports is an easy way for me to get my opinions out.  I'll try to find better examples of my opinion.

Friday, January 6, 2012

Sour Grapes

So I'm watching television and I see that Penn State hired a new football coach finally.  They decided to hire a guy who has no ties to Penn State football.  He has no head coaching experience.  He's pretty much the most not-Penn State person you could have hired outside of me.  Actually, I have a Penn State jersey I bought for 2 bucks at a yard sale, so there's my affiliation right there.  The backlash from it is amazing.  Many of the best Penn State players ever are absolutely upset over this.  LaVar Arrington basically said he's denouncing his Penn State life completely because of the hire.  I'm sure there are so many that believe Joe Paterno shouldn't have been fired in the first place that are not too happy with this either.  All I have to say is this, shut up.  Do you understand what the ramifications of who you hire are?  Do you understand what the last regime put themselves and others through?  Did you forget that CHILDREN were hurt and abused and everyone was completely silent about it?  Penn State is a college first.  This is the mission of Penn State taken straight from their website:

Penn State is a multicampus public research university that educates students from Pennsylvania, the nation and the world, and improves the well being and health of individuals and communities through integrated programs of teaching, research, and service.

At no point in that statement does it say ANYTHING about hiring a football coach you like.  Penn State is about education, not football.  Yes, you have a tradition.  However tradition takes a backseat to CHILDREN being abused.  Football takes a backseat to justice.  The people who want your football program to succeed have a duty to provide a safe and truly moral standard for any student coming into that campus, NOT JUST THE FOOTBALL PLAYERS.  Sorry about all the caps, but this bothers me to no end.  To not take into consider at all the victims of these heinous, evil crimes is both selfish and ignorant.  These people have to understand that in order to get the prize recruits to become a prominent national power again, they're going to have to avoid any and all stigmas associated with the last regime.  As hard as it is to understand and accept, Joe Paterno failed to provide a safe and morally correct environment.  If someone from the last regime is there, you're pretty much going to lose any and all prize recruits.  The first question asked by a parent will be, "so what role did you play in this Sandusky thing?"  I'd rather hear, "I was in New England, coaching Tom Brady", as opposed to, "I was there, but I didn't know much."  You have to take everything into consideration with these kinds of things.  Have some respect for Penn State for going outside of the "family" to improve the well-being of not only the football program, but the college itself. Not just recruits for football were affected by the scandal.  I'm fairly certain that a lot of kids that wanted to go to Penn State before the scandal are pretty anxious about being associated with the school now.  Understand what everyone is dealing with before you spout off about family.  And while you're at it, think about the families hurt by the evil that happened.

Thursday, January 5, 2012

A Lost Art

Apparently my campaign for honesty isn't reserved to just me.  Today I'm watching ESPN (after a well deserved nap), and I'm seeing a big story about current New York Jets QB Greg McIlroy and recent comments made by him.  Now he's basically been on injured reserve since the beginning of the season for a thumb injury.  He did an interview in Alabama and they asked him about his time in New York.  Greg pretty much said that the Jets were a very torn up locker room with players with no heart or desire to win.  He said that some of the players seemed to be there for the paycheck and nothing else.  There has been a lot of backlash about his comments.  Most of them seemed to be of the "you need to shut up" variety.  Former players, current players, and the vaunted "experts" all say that he shouldn't have aired dirty laundry in public.  Here's my take, oh freaking well.  I mean seriously, if someone asks a question, you have a duty to be honest with the person asking the question.  I know it's not good etiquette to share some bad things about your team, but the Jets in particular have made a habit out of talking with little to no results.  They shouldn't be upset that one of their players said what was actually happening.  I played sports; I think being honest about your feelings makes your team better.  People should take these criticisms into account and make changes to make the team better.  I'm talking about cutting guys who are cancers to the team dynamic.  We always whine, cry, and complain about how dishonest politicians are.  We get so upset when a guy on Maury fails a lie detector test.  However when a sports star says what he honestly feels about a situation on his team, he's some kind of turncoat.  He should just nod and say the right thing.  Last time I checked, the truth is always the right thing.  Mark Twain said, "If you tell the truth, you never have to remember anything."  I've seen so many people backtrack and fumble over words and paint themselves into a corner simply because they didn't tell the truth in the first place.  McIlroy just did what anyone with any decency should do in life, told the truth.  Sometimes the truth hurts.  Even if he's never played in a regular season game, he was there with everyone else and didn't like what he lived through and shared his feelings.  This could get him cut from the team and blackballed, but I respect the man for being honest with himself and with people on the outside about what life was like for him.  Maybe the Jets should take this as the thing that makes them a Super Bowl team instead of a Super Talk team.  And we all know that talk is cheap when it's not honest.

Wednesday, January 4, 2012

What Happened to...

I'm sure most of you are aware of the results of last night's Sugar Bowl.  Now I playfully pick on the teams that made it there.  I'm still a believer that Boise State and Kansas State should have been in that game before Michigan and Virginia Tech based on season results. I'd throw Arkansas in the mix, but that whole 2 teams per conference in BCS bowl games messes that up.  However, those facts don't take away from the fact that the game was absolutely fantastic to watch.  Two teams did everything they could to stay ahead of their opponent. The game went back and forth.  Players gave their hearts.  There was a pretty controversial play in overtime.  It's pretty clear that either way was going to cause controversy.  I truly believe that the referees and replay officials weren't going to be right to everyone in that situation.  However, that wasn't the troubling thing.  The troubling thing was all the posts, comments, and thoughts broadcast on my facebook page.  Some of these posts were very troubling because there was blame shifting, accusations of referee payoffs, and belief that there is a bias against a college.  To actually think that an entire institution like the NCAA would be so against your school that they would cost you a game on purpose, it's not asinine, it's not asi-ten, it's not asi-eleven, it's asi-twelve (thank you Stephen A. Smith).  To think that a school would have the gall to pay off a set of referees to cost you something; risking career, livelihood, family, and possibly freedom?  Come on, man.  Look, I understand that being a fan means sometimes having an emotional attachment to a team, but to act like a 4 year old and throw tantrums on the Internet because things didn't go your way makes sports so unwatchable to some people.  I love sports and sometimes I do become emotionally invested, but I never get to a point where I believe in fixes and rigging of games.  If your favorite team loses, it's because the other team scored more points.  You look at the things you did wrong and reduce them for next year.  You look at the things you did right and do that more.  I'm sure I'm offending a lot of people, but I don't care.  You all offended me with your pettiness. You annoyed me with how you took a bunch of 18-22 year old men, deified them, and then put all this undue pressure on them to win a football game that pretty much NONE of you have any stake in outside of bragging rights.  Unless of course you put money on them, then you're an idiot.  You put hard earned money on people who think that the Jersey Shore is a philosophical masterpiece.  Point being, just enjoy the game.  Be sad if they lose, but don't blame the referees, the replay booth, or any other entity.  The coach of your favorite team wouldn't do it, won't let his players do it, and would rather his fans not do it either.

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

New Respect

I don't know if you've read the story or heard about it, but the Pittsburgh Steelers did something that makes me smile and proud to be a football fan.  They are benching one of their best players to save his life.  Safety Ryan Clark has a rare blood disorder associated with sickle cell.  Due to this condition, he is at high risk when he plays football to begin with.  It heightens when he's in high altitudes, such as Denver, Colorado.  Denver is the site of the Steelers' Wild Card game.  Imagine having to go without one of your best players when he's perfectly healthy and can move just fine.  Coach Mike Tomlin says that it's just a football game, and that a man's life is not worth a game.  I wish more people thought this way in life.  I've seen parents and coaches of high school and even younger players take games like this with such seriousness, that you'd think it's a matter of national security.  I used to live in a city where adults would absolutely lose their minds, blame referees being paid off, and pretty much bet their children's college funds on a HIGH SCHOOL football team.  They expect to win every game, and if they didn't, there was a weird black cloud that kind of floated above the city.  What happened to "for the love of the game" that people preach so much about.  I hate to brag about myself, actually no I don't, but when I coached youth basketball I promised myself that it would be about the kids having fun.  I made it a purpose to have my teams smiling and happy to be on the court enjoying themselves.  I know that professional sports is a different animal in that paychecks are a big part of how you play or don't play people.  That's what makes what the Steelers did all the more awesome.  To care about a person's life more than a game just tells me that Mike Tomlin gets it.  He understands that this man has a family that loves him.  A family that wants him to be around when he's retired.  High class Pittsburgh.  Kind of makes me feel bad that my Packers whipped you in the Super Bowl last year.   Actually, no that was still awesome.

Monday, January 2, 2012

Toilet Humor

I will say that in my 29 years and 35 months of living on this planet, one thing I've noticed is that women are perceptive.  They have insight and intuition that would make you wonder if they're psychic or have some kind of magic window into the future.  If a woman has a suspicion that her husband or boyfriend is cheating on her, she's usually right.  If a woman sees a man from about 100 feet, they can tell by how they walk whether or not the guy is worth dating.  Women know when to go out, when to dress up, what side the salad fork goes, and other things that makes you think, "Lady, don't you have anything better to do?"  However there is one thing that for some reason, they can't figure out.  One thing that no matter how many times they get nailed by it, they continue to complain about it.  For some strange reason or another, it eats away at them.  Women for some reason, don't know whether a toilet seat is down or not.  You don't know how many times I hear women complain about the toilet seat being up.  I wonder if these women back up like a semi-truck without looking at the toilet.  It's the one time that they just can't believe that the seat is up.  Women have the best perception of any creature on the planet, yet they can't be bothered to check something.  It's not really that hard to do either. The seat isn't that heavy.  In fact, I can pick up a toilet seat with my pinkie.  Don't want to, but I can.  Putting a seat down is even easier, you have gravity to help you get it down.  Seriously, this bothers me.  Way back, George W. Bush and the U.S. military had a devil of a time finding Saddam Hussein.  All you have to do is tell a woman that Saddam Hussein was trying to steal her man at about 8 o'clock in the morning, she will have found him by 8 o'clock that night.  However, she can't tell whether a porcelain oval is 9 to 11 inches away from  a big hole?  Confuses me to no end.  And don't tell me about it being too dark to see.  You'll turn on every light in the house to make sure your purse matches your shoes, yet you won't turn on a light to see where you're peeing?  Priorities, people.

Sunday, January 1, 2012

Fresh New Year

Every year around this time, people set these New Years Resolutions.  You know, these things that are supposed to help you change your life and become a better person.  I realized that if I'm going to become a better person, I first need to figure out who I should be better than.  Well if you believe the way I believe, then you're in a 6 to 7 billion way tie for worst person ever.  Yes there are some nice people in the world who do some marvelous things.  My family is pretty awesome if you ask me.  However we all fail in comparison to the Ultimate Better Person, Jesus.  Yeah I know that trying to be as good as Jesus is an endeavor that 9 times out of ten, we fail miserably at.  And of course that tenth time, it's just downright embarrassing.  Hmm, so what do we do?  Pretty simple really, just keep swimming.  Isn't that what that little blue fish said in Finding Nemo?  Never stop trying to improve.  However never forget that the best person to compare yourself to is not that lousy neighbor with the loud kids or that co-worker who smells like they've been working really hard.  You should compare yourself to the only person worthy of being called The Better Person, then you'll see that you have a long way to go.  And then you'll keep trying to do better and better.

My New Years Resolution

Here's my resolution, it's simple.  Be honest.  I'm usually honest except for when I try to tell people how I'm doing.  I never tell the truth.  I always say that I'm fine, or I'm not sure yet because it's 6 in the morning and I haven't had any coffee, tea, or contact with direct sunlight.  This year, if you ask me how I'm doing, you had better be ready to get a good long explanation about my mindset.  You're not getting all the gory details, but you will get a pretty good answer to a question that most of the time is dismissed.  And if you do try to walk away before I actually tell you how I'm doing, I will tell you how I'm doing loudly.

My Other New Years Resolutions

First, I'm going to work on this blog a lot more.  Seems like I dismiss this blog and forget to share my thoughts more.  So, I'm going to try to do this every day.  Second, I'm going to finish my kids' book.  It's at the last chapter, I just haven't thought about finishing it.  I know that this book could be a fun read for upper elementary kids.  Maybe I can make some coin and go on a date with the recently single Katy Perry.  The rest could go to singing lessons for her.