Is there anything left to hang a hat on?

Such a long time between blogs, I feel awful.  Anyway, I have a couple things I need to gripe about.  First gripe is about this whole Lebron James-Cleveland Cavaliers thing.  It seems like the NBA is going full force with security just to keep Lebron James protected from overzealous, angry Clevelanders who are bitter about a man who just decided to transfer cities for a better opportunity at success in his profession.  Where I come from, we call that moving on up.  The Jeffersons did it, and they were alright.  Look, I'm not cool with the whole hour-long decision thing he did to announce his intentions.  However, I don't care in the long run.  It's just a sport.  It's a game, people.  I transferred from one school to another, and to my knowledge, the school I left didn't burn things of mine in misery.  Please people, remember that when it's all said and done, it's just a game.  He's an adult, he can do what he wants with his life.  Next, this whole Cam Newton thing.  Basically, the NCAA says that Cam Newton did not know that his father was trying to get money from a school for Cam's football services.  Let me say this again, a guy didn't know that his FATHER was trying to get MONEY for his services.  Now, Reggie Bush was found guilty of this same thing.  His family got new cars and a nice house from an agent.  The NCAA believed Bush knew about this and punished his college by taking their championship and not allowing them to play in post-season bowl games and conference championships when PAC-10 goes to 12 teams.  There is a simple reason why Cam Newton's allowed to play despite this whole money mess.  The reason is a small little religious school in Fort Worth, Texas called Texas Christian University, TCU to its friends.  TCU basically sits 3rd in the BCS and if Auburn loses, there's a pretty real chance that TCU would get bumped up to play for the national championship.  The BCS cannot have that. That would put a monkey wrench in the whole BCS process, which is basically to stomp down the 5 conferences that are not in the BCS coalition.  Auburn would have a much better chance of losing if Cam Newton didn't play this Saturday against my beloved South Carolina Gamecocks.  So, the best solution is to hold out until just after the BCS championship game to really punish Newton.  By that time, they would have already played Oregon and TCU would have been just another Rose Bowl winner.  So this Saturday, do me a favor America.  Cheer for South Carolina like you've never cheered for anything in your life.  And outside of a few of my friends, get crazy for Oregon State.  Throw all your energy into the Beavers beating the Ducks.  No offense to my Auburn or Oregon fans, but I want the BCS to be accountable.  The best way to make them accountable is to test their mettle.  See if they really will put TCU in the national title game.  Another thing, Gordon Gee, president of Ohio State.  Next time you insult a school, make sure you know what you're talking about.  You said that Boise State and TCU have weak schedules compared to Ohio State and others, so they don't deserve to be in title games.  If strength of schedule was really a big deal, Washington would be the toughest team in the country.  Boise State's schedule is actually tougher than Ohio State's and Wisconsin's.  TCU's isn't that much behind Wisconsin's.  Look for the Sagarin ratings if you don't believe me.  Truth be told, sports brings out a lot of emotions.  I hate when people take the sport out of sports and turn it into some kind of underhanded, lowballing of others.  Let things goes.  Let people change jobs.  Let little schools have their chance at the big stage.  Butler didn't hurt anybody being in the championship.  They proved they were as good as anyone.  And if someone does something wrong, call them on it.  Don't hold off just to keep your agenda flowing.  Go Gamecocks.

Do I Really Count?

Tomorrow is an important day in our country.  Tomorrow we go to the polls to select midterm senators and congressmen.  There seems to be this notion that it is my civic duty to vote.  I have a question though.  If I don't believe in the candidates, do I still have the civic duty?  I watch all these commercials for the candidates and it's nothing but, "this guy will do this to you" or "this guy likes Obama".  I haven't heard one advertisement about what the candidate WILL do for me.  It's all what the other is going to DO TO me.  I'm sick of the backstabbing, mudslinging, and trash talk that comes from election time.  How about, "hey I'm sorry things are bad, I'll do my best to make them better" and leave it at that.  Not only that, but the system is so flawed.  Particularly the presidential election.  I'm not Democrat or Republican, I'm Tyrone.  I do however think that Al Gore got cheated out of the presidency.  Not because of the whole Florida, hanging chad, whatever.  I think it was because Gore had more votes than Bush.  Yes I know that's going to upset my Republican friends, but that's the truth.  When I watch a basketball game, the team with the most points wins.  When I play Scrabble, I win if I score more points.  Doesn't matter about the length of a word or the exotic nature of a word.  It's only about scoring points.  However in the presidential election, it's all about the electoral process.  That's a silly thing to base things off of, in my opinion.  If you're not familiar, you basically get however many votes equal to the amount of representatives you have in Congress.  Some states have more electoral votes or representatives than others.  I think they should do away with the electoral college altogether and go with "the most votes wins".  That would make life a lot easier.  I'm not sure what I'm going to do tomorrow as far as voting.  I have an issue with the candidates running.  I have an issue with how they conduct business.  I have an issue with how they completely ignore standards and decency.  If they want me to support them and their cause, they'd better have something better than, "I'm not this guy, he's a jerk."  If I want mudslinging and trash talk, I'd watch wrestling.  Oh wait, isn't one of the candidates a former CEO of a major wrestling promotion? 

Is It Really That Bad?

So I decided to rant on something today, but had no idea what.  I posted a status message on facebook, but none of you bothered to give me ideas.  One person did, and it was actually worth talking about so here I go.  There seems to be this whole issue about illegal immigration in our country.  It's a pretty polarizing topic, surprisingly.  You see you have one set of people that believe that we should just let anyone come into our country.  That was the original premise for our country.  Ellis Island was created for the soul purpose of bringing in the tired, hungry, weak, and downtrodden to a new land.  If those people knew then, what we knew now...I don't think they'd come as often.  Let's just be honest, the biggest thing about illegal immigration isn't really the whole morality of trespassing.  It comes down to money and racism.  I'll go on the money rant first.  Apparently there is this general misconception that illegal immigrants take jobs from people.  If that isn't the biggest bunch of malarkey I've ever heard, I don't know what is.  Look, most of the "jobs" that are being taken by illegals are menial tasks that no one was really in a hurry to get anyway.  How many of you have been pining for a job picking fruits from an orchard?  Raise your hand if you've been dying to mop the floor at the McDonald's that you just got your last meal from.  Look, let's be real, the job isn't the problem.  So it comes down to racism.  Now I know that racism is a dirty word and most people would rather not be associated with it.  Let's just get it out there, what is the main people group we associate with illegal immigration?  Nine out of ten of you probably said Latino.  The other person said "Mexican".  It's gotten to the point that Arizona was wanting to pass a law that basically said that if any person looks to be of Latino decent, they can be checked for legality.  Not German, not French, not even Arab, Latino.  There are facebook groups that basically say, "I shouldn't have to press such and such for English, I'm in America."  That's kind of trivial if you ask me.  You should be more upset that you're on hold for 47 minutes and every person you talk to in the phone web is named "Peggy".  Yeah I stole that from a commercial, but whatever.  Now, before I get into my serious rant, I just want to preface this by saying that if you are not American and are here illegally, you're in the wrong.  There is paperwork to do, and there is a test to take if you want the benefits of being an American citizen and you should do all you can to obtain it.  Trust me folks, it's not that hard.  Now, to the rest of you, get over it guys.  Outside of a couple of folks, most of the illegals are just squatting at worst.  The people that keep them here are the supervisors that hire them for peanuts (in our standards).  If the supervisors can find cheap labor, why risk it?  According to them, it's about making money.  If you really want them gone, take the menial jobs that they're doing.  Take the cheap labor instead of stealing unemployment and spending it on new Nikes for your 1 month old.  Like I said, the Statue of Liberty promotes people who are in down times and people coming from most countries are in down times.  We're one of the wealthiest nations in the world, they want a piece of the pie.  The least we could do is a) help them get legal citizenship b) love them and pray for them and c) quit labeling all Latinos as illegals.  You're not doing us any favors.  Part of the reason that they are staying in the country is to spite us.  Let's be real, if a bunch of hateful people tell you this and that, you're going to want to spite them too.  I'm really tired of the holier than thou attitude that some people have about "their country" when it comes to Hispanics wanting to do what every person's ancestors wanted back in the olden days, prosper in America.  However that whole "their country" goes out the window when the president that was elected to lead the country gets mocked and persecuted (on both the left and right, it's all the same really) at the slightest deviation from their beliefs.  Like I said, I love America but it disappoints me with how they treat those that want to experience what we Americans have been blessed with.  Help them get into America legally instead of trying to build a giant fence to keep them out forever.

Be Careful What You Wish For

I know it's been a while since I last posted a blog, but nothing's really been on my mind lately.  That is until this weekend.  There seems to be some sort of idea that Obama may start taking steps (if he hasn't already) to repeal the "Don't Ask Don't Tell" policy in the military.  For those not familiar with it, it basically states that if a homosexual joins the military, his fellow soldiers cannot ask him if he/she prefers the same gender and they don't have to tell you if it is asked.  Basically, it's to keep homosexuals from being harassed and mocked by their fellow soldiers.  Now I have to say this before I get started, if a person feels compelled to join the military no matter their race, gender, sexual preference, shoe size, favorite television show, or any other thing that could be ridiculed, that is their business.  In fact, I salute you for making that ultimate sacrifice to defend my country.  I don't think that a person who loves their country should feel compelled to not join for fear of ridicule.  Those that mock others have no business joining the military.  In fact, you should be ashamed of yourself because those that you mock are the people you are defending.  If you can't respect someone enough to respect them for who they are and what their choices might be, then I suggest not defending my country, because you certainly don't love my country.  My country is full of every kind of person imaginable.  To mock one aspect of my country is to mock all of my country.  Jerry Springer has a point when he says that people on his show are America, better or worse, they are America.  Now, to the homosexual people out there.  Like I said, I respect you for wanting to honor my country.  I respect you for wanting to be a part of the greatest fighting force in the history of the world.  However, although a lot of people read my blog, not enough have influence to change an entire culture.  If DADT gets repealed, that gives those with no class or ethics free range to harass you.  Do you really want that?  I mean, you can go and report them to a commanding officer, but you're taking a risk of being considered a snitch or a crybaby.  That in turn gives those people more ammunition to mess with you more.  Look, I know you're not going to prance on the battlefields with a tutu or kiss the first thing you see in a shower.  However, you are going to give some people the creeps.  Those people aren't nearly as intelligent as need be to handle that kind of thing.  And what about a commanding officer.  If they find out that there are a few homosexuals, you may find yourself in more peril than you bargained for.  They may throw you on the front lines like they did to the black people on South Park.  I know that's a television show, but work with me here.  Point being, you're asking for a whole heap of trouble when you ask for people to change their entire philosophy overnight.  It takes a little time and education to understand what you're thinking or going through.  Now I know that you'll give me examples of some military people who are accepting, but I'm not talking about some.  I'm talking about the culture.  You will be offended by conversation.  And if they are in fear of talking because you're in the room, welcome to the isolated life.  Like I said, I have no problem with you wanting to fight for my country.  I love America and want everyone within its borders to love it too.  However, you're asking for a lot of people to do a heavy thing simply because you're not comfortable.  I don't drink.  However if I go to a baseball stadium and raise holy heck because there's beer being served, what does that do to me?  I'll get pelted with items, including the beer I don't drink, and ran out of the stadium.  I can't tell an entire baseball stadium to stop drinking because I don't do it.  I simply sit down, watch the game, and outsmart the drunk people for foul balls.  So maybe you should think about what you're asking for when you ask Obama to repeal "Don't Ask, Don't Tell".  Realize that it could open up a whole new can of worms that you thought wouldn't be opened.

Touchy Subject? Maybe

So I was watching Glee last night and couldn't help but get enthralled by the subject.  If you didn't, I'll recap as best I can.  Kurt, the gay kid, goes through a bad time when his father has a heart attack and is left in a coma.  Some of his glee club friends tell him that they're praying for his dad.  Kurt doesn't believe in God because of His people.  Surely a blemish on our Christian record as well as a pretty sad commentary on how Christians are viewed by the outside world.  Throughout the episode a bit of a schism comes into play.  Kurt believes everyone is "forcing religion" onto him when he just wants his dad back.  Everyone else thinks Kurt's being "evasive and isolated."  The athiests that watched the show will probably side with Kurt in this battle.  People of faith will be more inspired by how open some of the cast members were about their faith.  I had a day to stew over the episode.  I think Christians should have a better testimony for those who don't believe in God.  You have to make a way to get people that don't know Christ to understand what Christ is about.  That means not going to military funerals with "God Hates Fags" signs.  That means having respect for people that don't look like you.  The KKK have made a mockery of God by saying they're doing God's work by eliminating blacks and Jews.  I'm not saying you do wrong and accept things.  I'm just saying respect other people and love them like Jesus loves us.  It's the least we can do to share Jesus' love with everyone else.  The Jesus I know wouldn't throw a kid out of church for having an earring in his lip or a tattoo on his neck.  Jesus would ask what the tattoos mean and ask how much it hurt.  You athiests aren't excused either.  If you really are as open minded and tolerant as you say you are, when will you go a day without finding something wrong with a Christian or a Republican?  I thought open mindedness meant that you listened to all explanations before developing an opinion.  I love my Lord more than anything.  However part of loving your Lord is loving other people and treating them with respect.  And if you see Jesus in your grilled cheese sandwich, don't ask for weird things like it's a genie.  It's just a funny shaped grilled cheese sandwich.

Sometimes It's the Right Card to Play

This is 2010.  At this point in our country's brief history, we should be above a lot of things.  Two years ago, we voted in our very first African American president.  A few years before that, we had the first ever Super Bowl between two African American coaches.  We've been blessed to have a lot of things happen to one of the most oppressed groups of people in history.  African Americans have been the subject to a lot of ridicule and strife.  Far more than I will ever know since I haven't lived in the harsh parts.  However it's a fact that racism still plays a part in a lot more than we're willing to admit.  This new law in Arizona that basically said that "if you look hispanic, your immigration status will be verified."  That's racism in it's purest form really.

That's not really what I want to talk about.  I want to talk about this thing going on in Miami.  Recently, LeBron James and his business manager have both said that race played a role in the backlash LeBron got for leaving Cleveland and going to Miami to play basketball.  Notice he said that "it played a role" not that it was the underlying reason.  I'm sure he understood that making a television show about which team he was going to play for was kind of over the top.  I'm sure he gets the fact that he broke the heart of all of Cleveland, Ohio that night.  However I don't think he expected this much flack for it.  Seems like it's a pretty valid idea.  If you look at the Q scores, LeBron is now one of the six most hated athletes.  Along with Michael Vick, Tiger Woods, Terrell Owens, Chad Ochocinco, and Kobe Bryant.  Notice that the six most hated athletes are all African Americans.  Three of them have NEVER been accosted for crimes at all.  One was in prison, so I get that.  One was accused of rape but never saw trial.  What baffles me is that Brett Favre (who is still my favorite athlete despite playing for the worst team ever) has done what LeBron has done 3 times in three years, waffling between playing and not playing for a certain team.  What baffles me is that Ben Roethlisberger has put himself in harm's way with women twice and isn't in the top 6.  Roger Clemens, who pretty much cheated at baseball isn't among the top 6, but LeBron is?  It makes no sense to me.  Terrell Owens' biggest crime was answering a question the media asks of him about his quarterback, yet he's more hated than an alleged rapist?  Tiger Woods' biggest crime was cheating on his wife, is that worse than cheating at in a sport that values integrity and honesty over statistics (see Pete Rose)?  Look, I know that racism is somewhat fading away, but it's still very prevalent.  Always has been, and always will be.  I have seen multiple people on my facebook friends list join the group: "Dear Lord, This year you took my favorite actor, Patrick Swayze. You took my favorite actress, Farrah Fawcett. You took my favorite singer, Michael Jackson. I just wanted to let you know, my favorite president is Barack Obama. Amen."  I don't think there has ever been this much backlash for a president, not even George W. Bush.  That's not a coincidence, my friends.  Like I said, I'm not saying that everyone hates Obama simply because he's black.  There are a lot more groups opposing a president than ever before.  And racism isn't just delegated to politics and negatives.  There are a lot of people that commit reverse racism.  That is to basically assume that because something is said or done, a person has to be offended by it and they must stop the injustice.  I think of that situation with Don Imus and the Rutgers women's basketball team.  Now I'm not condoning what Imus did, but people took his comment way out of proportion.  Honestly, when I first heard it, he delivered it in a pretty funny way.  People jumped all over him and called him the worst racist ever.  I don't think he was trying to be racist.  He just said a line that was more crude than racist.  Basically, people are telling other people that they should be offended by what other says.  Don't tell me how to feel.  If I want to be offended, I'll do it myself.  Point being, we have a long way before we can consider our country enlightened and intelligent.  If you really want racism to stop, go about it scientifically.  Science proves that there is only one color, just the amount of melanin added to that color.  It's Kool-Aid and sugar.  The more sugar that's in it, the sweeter it is.  The more melanin in a person, the darker they are.  Or you can look at it biblically, God loves all and wants all in Heaven.  Just look at each other as people who need love, care, guidance.  Not people who need protection, special rights, and facebook groups wishing death upon them.

I've Been Thinking...I Know, Bad Idea

It's been a while since I've posted a blog.  Sorry about that, it's just been a busy and hectic life I've lived over the past few weeks and this had to take a backseat.  People tell me how amused or inspired they are by my blogs and that humbles me.  To think that people from many walks of life look at my blog and enjoy what I have to say is truly eye-opening.  So I'll try my best to be a little more active in doing this blog.

I'm kind of sick of politics.  I'm not a genius about the subject, don't get me wrong.  However, I am a human being and I have an opinion.  That alone allows me to chime in on the subject.  First of all, I have an issue with the politicians.  It's not a big issue.  Their job is to make promises that may or may not come true to convince you to vote for them.  And of course they filter what they want to say based on their audience.  Doesn't bother me too much because I don't really listen to lip service.  At least not on purpose.  My big deal is with the "news" stations. This morning I turned on some morning news because a) I like Morning Joe because Joe Scarborough is a funny dude and b) Fox News is a couple of channels down, so it's good to go right near by a differing view.  However today, both channels shared a similar clip about a political candidate (name slips my mind) confronting a journalist about a story.  Fox defended the politician because he was a Republican.  MSNBC defended the journalist because the politician was a Republican.  Let's call a spade a spade, two immature, middle aged men are arguing in public and making fools of themselves.  What happened to that part of news coverage.  There's also a big huhbub about a lady who won the Republican primary in Delaware.  O'Donnell I think her name is...anyway, some news places are just ripping this girl apart because she doesn't say what she should and isn't like all the other Republicans.  But weren't people complaining about the Republicans being the same person every year?  Now someone is different and they rip her apart for not being like everyone else.  Make up your minds people.  Oh, and just a heads up, she won the primary, so she must be appealing to SOMEONE, and more of those someones voted for her than not.  Call the elections like they are and nothing else.  Stop giving me an opinion and give me facts.  I miss facts in the news.

What Do You Expect?

There's been kind of a big deal being made about improprieties in the NCAA.  I mostly want to talk about the whole Reggie Bush Heisman Trophy situation.  Actually what led to it is more my goal.  If you don't know, Reggie Bush was stripped of his Heisman Trophy due to receiving improper benefits as a collegiate athlete.  Apparently, an agent offered Reggie and his family a lot things that they didn't have before in order to be Reggie's agent when he wanted to become a professional athlete.  Now I'm not saying what Reggie did was okay, because it's not.  As a collegiate athlete, you are not to receive any kinds of benefits during your tenure in college.  It's basically saying that you can't be paid to be an athlete.  However it bothers me a lot that Reggie's actions caused a lot of backlash for his former school.  Actually, it's not really Reggie's actions that bother me.  It's the actions of the agents that know better.  These agents are so greedy that they can't wait until the young man finished his collegiate career to jump on him and his fame.  Yes he was destined to be a superstar in the pros.  Yes he was destined to make millions in endorsement deals.  Yes he was destined to be a face of the NFL.  But we forget that he was still just a young man wanting to help his family get out of poverty.  This isn't just singular to Reggie Bush.  So many collegiate athletes come from low to very low income situations.  You throw money in a poor kid's face and tell him he can help his mother get out of debt and never have to worry again, they're jumping on that opportunity.  It doesn't help that the athletes don't see much of the money that they're making for their school.  People say, oh they're getting a free education.  They're getting an education for playing basketball, that's easy.  Not really.  They have to balance dedication to the sport they're playing with dedication to classes and dedication to being a 19 year old kid and having fun for themselves.  And what happens if the athlete gets hurt severely and can't play the sport at college any more?  They get tossed to the wayside like nothing happened.  How fair is that?  I don't think it's fair that these agents don't face criminal charges for their actions.  They keep making their millions from other clients with no penalty.  It's a shame.  I don't know what any of us would do if we were in the same situation.  I don't make a lot of money now, so being offered something to keep me from worrying about next month is something I'd totally be on board with.  I guess not totally, but at the very least have me thinking.  Like I said, Reggie knew the rules beforehand, so he should have exercised caution.  Maybe talked to somebody about the situation.  However, grown men with years of business savvy should at the very least have the decency to let the kid be a kid before trying to take advantage of him.  If you're that good of an agent, you shouldn't have to offer improper benefits to get him to sign with you in the first place.

I'm sorry

I know that it's been a while since I last blogged.  My new housemates decided to fiddle with the internet and cause me mass problems.  It's okay, I had TV to keep me occupied.  However a lot of things have come about that I think I need to address.  First of all, I have a huge problem with some people doing things in the name of my God against their fellow man.  There is a pastor in Florida who up until this weekend was planning on burning the Quran in memory of the September 11 attacks as well as in protest to the Islamic Whatchamacallit that's being built anywhere from 2 to 7 blocks (depending on your news source) away from Ground Zero.  The burning of someone else's sacred texts is wrong.  As a Christian, I'd be outraged if someone burned my Bible.  I would compare it to trying to get a child not to sleep with a teddy bear and burning it to send the message home.  You just don't take something that is precious to someone else and ruin it to get them on your side.  Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not a Muslim sympathizer and I'm not pledging any allegiance to Allah.  Quite the contrary, actually.  I think the best way to defeat Islam is to show love and compassion for them.  To help them when they're in trouble.  My Bible says that what you do for the least of these, you do also for Christ.  If I were to burn the Quran, I'd be slapping my Lord and Savior in the face by not showing love to others.  For that same reason, and I know this will get a lot of people fired up, I have no issue with the Islamic Thingamajig being built near Ground Zero.  Here's my reason.  There's already a Muslim worship center even closer to Ground Zero already there.  It's in a basement at a building that's surrounded by a lot of closed down businesses.  It's not the most desirable place for a worship center, but hey it works for them.  Now according to most sources, this center being built is going to house a cooking school, a basketball court, and other nice amenities.  I don't really know all the juicy details, and I'm not about to go searching.  I just know this, telling people how they can or can't use a building is against the Constitution.  My church recently went through an almost similar situation.  We bought a building, were ready to worship in it, and the government said no.  We fought, and now our church is meeting in said building with many visitors and new members every week.  I know, our God is real, theirs isn't.  I understand that point.  However, I think we should keep our nose out of it.  It's what the separation of church and state was written for to begin with.  To keep the government from putting their nose into church affairs.  It's why the pilgrims left in the first place.  I'm not converting to Islam.  I'm not changing.  I know that one day, those who don't accept Christ as Savior will not be in heaven.  However, what harm is it to have a basketball court in NYC?  Trust me, our God will prevail.  He's the only God that will.  So don't get yourselves in a tizzy over a building.  More than likely, if our God is who He says He is, it will be gone in no time.  I'm more upset that my fellow Christians in NYC didn't pounce on the property and build a church for those victims first.  I think that's what Muslims need to see, Christians fighting the powers of evil with love, care, and compassion.  Not with horrible signs, burning sacred texts, or just being a flat out evil person (I'm talking to you Westboro Baptist).  If you want God to prevail, do what Christ did.  Love those that persecute you.  Bring a meal to the homeless instead of telling them to get a job.  Instead of telling them they're on their way to hell, tell them how to get to heaven.  Sometimes I get so frustrated with my fellow Christians in how they act towards others.  The ones that call our President foul names, the ones that tell homosexuals that God hates them.  I don't think God once hated anyone.  He only hates sin.  Can we get back to what made Christianity so cool in the early 1900s.  Love, peace, grace, mercy, stuff like that?

I Missed the Memo

Okay, so today was the first day of school.  Of course it was filled with the usual crazy hi jinks of people not knowing what in the world is going on.  Kids came in with their fresh new backpacks, sharpened pencils, and new notebooks.  Kindergartners looked as lost as ever as they tried to find the perfect seat in the lunchroom.  Overall, it was a pretty good day.  The only thing we need to discuss is the fashion show that occurs.  Not amongst the kids.  That's normal.  Every year kids get maybe a week's worth of brand new clothes and just rock them like crazy.  Then it's back to the same old, same old for the rest of the year, save for Christmas clothes and maybe an Easter outfit.  But what I want to talk about is the fashion statements by the adults.  Today at school, I saw some teachers just going full bore.  Some had on some fly high heel shoes.  Some had on some shorter than usual skirts (not revealing or inappropriate, just more leg than most of my teachers ever showed).  Now don't think of this as me being jealous.  Not the case at all.  I just happen to work in a room in school where sensible shoes and business casual attire makes more sense.  Believe me, if I were in a typical classroom, I'd out dress everybody.  I mean I'm the guy that was on Wheel of Fortune looking fly in an outfit that didn't cost more than 50 bucks total (Goodwill Shoppers UNITE, but for a limited time only).  People always seem to want to put their best foot forward on the first day of school.  It also applies to the first day of the week for church.  I remember in the church I went to in New York, they actually made the parishioners walk to the front to put their offering envelope in the giant basket.  Now they may say that it was for the offering, but I think it was all just to get a fashion show going.  The ladies would strut like nobody's business with their fancy hats and dresses.  I was just waiting for the day that the Pastor would start doing commentary, "Here's Sister Mabel with her royal purple dress.  Notice her wonderful accompaniment of 2 inch heels, totally ignoring the corns on her toes and the major blister on her heel.  Her hat is tilted just to the left enough to give her vision to put her check in the basket."  We tend to put our best foot forward in every first.  First date, got to look fly.  First time at a particular club or restaurant, have to make it look like you've been there before.  Movie premieres always have people discussing their outfits to Joan Rivers.  Why can't we put our best foot forward everyday?  I know the reason I can't, I can't afford it.  But besides that, I think it behooves us to attempt to put out our best efforts everyday.  Nothing wrong with being well equipped for anything.  However, next time the school decides to have dress up day, call me.  I can at least slip on a clip-on tie and clean my shoes.

Why Can't All Girls Be Like Michelle?

People have been giving me a hard time lately about my marital status, or lack thereof.  They wonder why a good looking guy (my words, not theirs) who has a job and is kind and funny can't quite land a wifey.  First reason, the wrong women are being presented to me.  Just a heads up to all my caucasian friends: just because a lady is African-American does not mean I'll be immediately attracted to them.  Please make sure that said African-American lady is attractive in my eyes.  "She's black, you'll like her" is a horrible stategy for setting people up with black men.  However the meaning for this blog is simple.  They're not Michelle Beadle. 

For those of you who are not ESPN watchers...or not a dude, same diff really, Michelle Beadle is the co-host of SportsNation.  It's a television program where sports fans can vote on random topics and the hosts have to guess what the fans voted.  It's about an hour long and is quite entertaining.  This chick could be the perfect woman.  I'm not just blowing smoke, people this is the real deal. 

First of all, she's pretty.  Very pretty.  Second, she is a sports fan.  I guess that kind of comes with the territory for working for ESPN, but still you can tell she likes what she's watching and is into it.  I've always been attracted to female sports reporters.

It all started with Summer Sanders when she co-hosted NBA Inside Stuff every Saturday morning, however her career hasn't been stellar since then.  She also failed at The Celebrity Apprentice.  Then it gradually moved to Bonnie Bernstein.  She was my girl for a long time until I heard rumors of her having a romantic encounter with Patriots coach Bill Belichick.  I don't care if it's true or not, if you don't deny it, you lose my interest quick.  Simply because thinking about him with anything is really gross.  Sorry to all my Patriot fan friends, but you have to admit the Hoodie isn't very appealing.  Then it went to Erin Andrews, whom pretty much everyone loved.  Unfortunate incident with that stalker, but she's getting her justice and that's good.  However I hear rumors that she's making goo goo eyes at the Russian kid from the dancing show and that is a no no.  Any man in tights and sequins cannot be trusted. 

And then, I turn on ESPN2 one day and there she is...in all her glory.  I fell in love right there.  Here is this pretty blonde chick talking about sports and ripping on Alex Rodriguez like he stole her prom date.  I knew that she was the one.  She likes awesome car wrecks on camera, and she named her dog Leeroy Jenkins.    How can you not love her for that?  So, if anyone reading has ANY KIND of connection to Ms. Beadle, could you please hook a brother up?  I'm specifically talking to the three newscaster ladies that are on my facebook friends list.  One I danced with at my roommate's wedding, one I took a picture with at my school when she was the reigning Miss Virginia, and the other I saw at Buffalo Wild Wings watching the UFC fight.  Oh, Michelle likes UFC too, hot diggity.  If I can't get Michelle Beadle, I will gladly take a suitable lady that likes sports and knows who Leeroy Jenkins actually is.

It's Just a Number (Famous Last Words)

Today is Friday the 13th.  How many of you have been freaked out?  How many of you try to avoid breaking mirrors?  How many of you hate going under ladders?  Have you ever been afraid to open an umbrella indoors?  Who holds their breath while crossing railroad tracks?  If you do any of those things, I have one thing to say.  You're all stupid. 

Okay, maybe that was a mean thing to say, but heavens people, it's just a day.  I walked under a ladder and haphazardly carried a mirror around today.  Look, I understand you having particular patterns and idiosyncracies that you must carry out.  That's cool.  However don't pass your obnoxious fears along to me.  I won't fall for it.  You ever get up on the wrong side of the bed?  I don't because my bed is against the wall.  There is no wrong side.  Usually I don't walk under ladders, not because I'm spooked, but because I'm too tall.  I opened an umbrella indoors once, my mom fussed.  However nothing of great significance has happened to me because of it. 

I'm sorry if I've ruined your unwarranted fears, but you have to learn this.  And just to put it out there, putting 666 on anything doesn't make you a rebel.  It makes you a moron.  It's silly to use the 666 as your own personal way to put fear into others.  Yes it is Satan's number, but it's also the number you hit before you get to 667.  Don't freak out if it pops up on your grocery receipt.  You're not going to spew split pea soup on the cashier.  Although if you do, please video it and put it on YouTube. 

The number 13 isn't bad luck.  There's no such thing as luck.  You make your own luck.  Luck is when preparation meets opportunity.  In other words, if you get things right, good things happen. Seven isn't a lucky number either.  It is the number of completion, however it is the scariest number in the world, since seven ate nine.  Truth be told, superstition is a silly thing.  Pitchers who avoid touching the chalk on the baseball field.  That dude who plays for the Seahawks who smacks himself bloody in the face with his helmet.  That's all stupid.  You want a real superstition, eat healthy.  Do that everyday.  You'd be surprised how better off you'd be instead of buying a Milky Way so your grocery till doesn't look so scary.

Stay in Your Own Element, PLEASE

I am disturbed and upset right now.  First of all, I am tremendously supportive of everyone.  I want everyone to be with me in this new age of technology.  However, some people are having some trouble.  Let me give you some background.  How many times do you see someone berate the cashier or bagger at the grocery store?  How many times have you been the berater?  Well, the grocery store and other stores have figured a way to solve that problem.  They have invented the self checkout lane.  If you haven't seen these, it's basically a lane where you can scan, bag, and pay for your groceries all by yourself with no help from the staff.  Sometimes they may have to check your ID if you purchase some adult beverages, but all in all it's you and you alone.  Well some people need a little bit of coaching as to how to use this apparatus.  So here are some tips so that you can use this quickly, and I don't have to wait in a line holding cold ice cream and hot, fresh cooked chicken from the deli for minutes on end.

1) If you have 300 items, don't use the self checkout.  It's not for you, it's for people in a hurry.
2) Point the bar code toward the light.  It will scan it, I promise.
3) After you scan, put the item into the bag. The bags are right next to the scanner.
4) If you only have one or two items and you don't want to deal with a bag, that's fine.  But the machine will tell you to put the item in the "bagging area."  The bagging area is basically a scale.  It measures the item you bought just to make sure it is going where it needs to be.  So just put the item on the scale if you don't want a bag.  That way it won't tell you to put the item in the area for minutes and you're not embarrassed.
5) Have your method of payment ready to go before you even start. 
6) Don't leave your change in the machine.  People will take it and use it for themselves.

There you go, some simple rules for using the self checkout.  And just remember that if you paid $400 for a box of Lucky Charms, that's your fault.

Open Letters to Radio Stations and Nancy Grace

Dear Radio Stations, I have a bone to pick with you.  You seem to have a really bad habit that I think you need to kick promptly.  I'm in my car driving somewhere when I hear this: "Late breaking news about (fill in the blank), right after this song."  Now when I hear that news is coming, I get excited.  I get my hopes elevated ready to hear about my favorite actor, maybe a great quote from someone, or a feud between a rich chick and someone with actual talent.  But then, the bad part happens.  The radio station plays THE WORST SONG IN THE WORLD.  Now these songs are interchangable, so don't think it's a specific song.  Although Lady Gaga and that obnoxious girl with the dollar sign in her name consistently make my list.  Please radio stations, don't make me change the channel before the late breaking news comes on.  I usually end up missing that news because I waited too long to change back.  Then I have to google or something.  Play something I like.  Play something that makes me say, "Oh goody, I can't wait to hear that news.  I can live with this song while I'm waiting."

Dear Nancy, thank you for being so awesome.  After I stopped working at the YMCA, I wasn't sure how productive my evenings would be.  I turned on HLN once upon a time and I see you pretty much ripping that Misty Croslin girl apart for not being a good mother.  Well, she's a stepmother and not anymore since she divorced the child's daddy.  You consistently entertain me with your no holds barred commentary on pretty much anything that's an injustice.  Your Southern accent helps a whole lot too.  I knew I should have been DVR-ing you more often when Passions, the only soap opera I've ever admitted watching, made a parody of you in a court case.  Passions, I miss that show.  I miss Timmy, but I digress.  Thank you for bringing the business to all the evil in the world.  Joran Van Der Sloot, Misty Croslin, that producer who killed his wife in Mexico, they all have felt the wrath of the great Nancy Grace.  Thank you.

I'm Not Saying, I'm Just Saying

Hypothetical situation to think about.  Suppose black male no older than about 25 from the inner city goes out and gets drunk every night with his older friends.  Not only does he get drunk, he also takes a lot of drugs (prescription and illegal) and abuses them.  Through his teen years, before the age of 21, he gets into numerous car accidents.  Sometimes he flees the scene because he was drunk at the time.  When he does get caught, he simply goes to a nice facility that emphasizes comfort over personal responsibility for rehabilitation.  The one time that this man does get put in jail, he stays for less than an hour and a half.  Of course, after he gets out of rehab, he is often seen drinking and doing drugs.  He's been sent to the same rehab facility multiple times, but he still drinks.  The one time that he does get a sentence, it's just probation.  Can't drink or do any drugs or break any laws whatsoever or he'd end up in jail.  He's been caught drinking and driving multiple times after the probation is set.  When it's time for him to see the judge for violating probation, he comes in late and dressed inappropriately for someone who is trying to avoid jail.  He only gets a little more probation added on.  He is later ordered to wear an ankle bracelet that monitors his alcohol consumption.  He complains that the bracelet doesn't go well with his new sneakers he got on sale at Foot Locker.  He then violates probation again when the bracelet signals that he had consumed alcohol.  Finally, after all the drinking, drug abuse, and probation violations come to a head in court, he is sentenced to 90 days in jail.  He only serves 14 days.  Sounds pretty sad, eh? 

We all have seen this story unfold.  Except replace the black male from the inner city with a Caucasian female movie star.  Look, we've all seen the Lindsay Lohan saga play out.  We all agree, well all but the famous people and her immediate family, that her life story is a travesty of justice.  The government tells us to have faith in the system.  Have faith in justice, it will prevail.  The fact of the matter is, it doesn't.  If you have money, a pretty face, and a Hollywood resume, you can pretty much beat the justice system and go right back to the junk that they've been doing.  I wanted to say another word, but young kids read this. 

Look at Charlie Sheen.  He's shot his fiancee, bought sex multiple times, overdosed on drugs, and attacked various women in his life physically.  All he got was a slap on the wrist for all those things.  I don't know what's worse, all these famous people avoiding true justice or the trumped up punishment that inner city kids get for minor crimes.  God forbid, if I ever get into a criminal situation, I will just bring up all these cases and ask for leniency.  Before you get up in arms, I will say for the record that R. Kelly and O.J. Simpson avoided jail and justice for their heinous crimes.  However there is one difference, their peers declared them not guilty.  I wonder what the verdict would have been if there was no jury.

Dream Sports Trip Needs Frequent Flyer Miles

People often ask me how I'm a fan of the teams I like.  I was born in New York City.  So one would wonder if I'm a fan of all the Yankees or Mets, Giants or Jets, Rangers or Islanders, or the Knicks.  Actually, no not really.  I grew up a majority of my life in South Carolina, so maybe I should like the Panthers or Falcons, Braves, or the Hawks.  Nope, can't say that either.  My favorite teams are as follows:  Green Bay Packers, Oklahoma City Thunder, and the Chicago White Sox.  I was a fan of the NHL's Phoenix Coyotes, but the NHL lockout kind of bothered me and I lost all touch with that.  Plus they changed their logo and it upset me.  My undying love for the Packers started when I first saw Brett Favre.  Kid came into the game for an injured Don Majkowski and never looked back.  People always ask if I'm bitter over Brett retiring and changing his mind all the time.  Not really.  When you've done nothing but football since middle school, it's hard to say, "okay I'll stop now."  I can understand the frustration; it's hard to let go of something.  Now don't get me wrong, when he brings the Vikings to town I wish death upon him.  But that's because he's a Viking, nothing more.  When he gets inducted to the Pro Football Hall of Fame, I will be in Canton, Ohio.  My friend Adrienne better have a room for me to sleep in when I get to Ohio.  Green Bay's history in football is so awesome.  That is my true dream, to go to a game at Lambeau Field (not Lambert, John Kerry).  When I saw them win the Super Bowl in 1997, there was a tear in my eye.  All my Cowboys fan friends were pretty ticked.  I cried even more when we lost the following Super Bowl to the Broncos.  The White Sox are a different story.  I kind of found them on accident.  I was 9 years old, just moved to South Carolina, and Mom decided not to hog the cable all to herself in her bedroom like she did in New York.  I'm not bitter, I promise.  Well, I saw WGN and baseball was on and I caught the White Sox on a rare day.  Usually they suck up to the Cubs and make my day miserable.  The White Sox caps were cool among black kids, mostly because of NWA (the rap group, not the wrestling organization).  Oklahoma City Thunder are a new team, but they came from my original favorite team, the Seattle SuperSonics.  They had one of the coolest teams ever.  Had Gary Payton, who could defend anyone and pass through a keyhole.  They had the most powerful, high flying dunker I've ever seen in Shawn Kemp.  Here are some highlights.  You know how hard it is to find one of these videos without swear words?  Appreciate me please.



I wasn't as upset with the team moving to Oklahoma City, as others.  I've never been to Seattle and from all accounts, I hear it's too rainy anyway.  I'm very excited about the massive improvement they made from their last year in Seattle to this past season.  If they hadn't faced the record breaking Chicago Bulls in 1996, they would have totally won the NBA title.  Point being, I don't know how I can have such a diverse set of favorite teams.  Maybe that's just who I am, give every region a chance.  Maybe I'll be a big fan of Brazilian wrestling and Sri Lankan water polo next.

When you get a chance, check out my boy, Joe doing his thing on bleacherreport.com.  He's a good guy and loves sports like Lindsay Lohan loves cheating the justice system.  Oooh, I think I found tomorrow's blog topic. 

Frustrations

I have a ridiculous amount of spare time between the end of summer camp and the beginning of the school year.  So I get the distinct pleasure of watching game shows in the morning.  Today, I was watching Price is Right and it was a pretty interesting episode.  This one dude had no idea how much a tube of toothpaste was.  The worst part of the episode was this one lady who clearly had no clue about life.  Her showcase was pretty neat: a BMW motorcycle, a trip to Greenville, SC for the BMW Experience (I never knew Greenville had something that cool), and a BMW Convertible.  Pretty awesome showcase, if you ask me.  This woman ruined my day by saying that it cost $47,000.  WHAT!??!  The wheels on a BMW Convertible are at least 20,000.  Needless to say, this woman did not win the showcase.  This brings me to my point.  Why do we get so frustrated at regular people like us not knowing prices?  As a former game show contestant myself, I should have known the pressures that come with being in front of bright lights and pretty women trying to figure out the price of a bread machine ($180).  I think the most frustrated I got was during one of my favorite game shows ever on Nickelodeon, Legends of the Hidden Temple.  Now if you've ever seen the show, it's basically got six teams of two kids each (one boy, one girl for equal rights reasons).  These teams go through this tournament style game where the final team goes through this temple to find an ancient artifact (replica of course).  One of the rooms in said temple is called The Shrine of the Silver Monkey. See the image above for details.  You have to put the monkey together in order to open the door.  It's only got three parts: feet, body, head.  Sounds simple right?  NOPE!  Kids stay for minutes, almost ages just trying to put this silly monkey together.  Some kids put the head in first.  Some put the feet upside-down.  It's just really sad to watch.  Why do we get so frustrated, they're just kids?  I guess because we want so bad for the kids to win.  We want the Regular Joe to win that cool trip to Space Camp in Alabama (best prize ever if you're 11).  My biggest bout of frustration lately was watching Jeopardy!  Jeopardy! is supposed to be an ultimate test of your knowledge of random things.  I think you should watch this clip and watch what frustrates me.  How does the only male in the group miss this question?



Game show frustration...at its peak.  I'll stick with yelling at The Situation trying to fight off Snooki.

My Friends Are Ruining a Song

I don't know what's happening to this world, but it seems like a lot of things are being quoted.  Well, one in particular...a particular song.  I can think of at least 27 occasions where my facebook friends have quoted this over and over.  I could be wrong on that number but considering my annoyance, it seems better to fabricate a tad.  If you don't know, there is a song called "Airplanes" by some fellow named B.O.B.  I have no idea what that stands for, but if his real name is Bob, I'm flipping out.  It's a rap song, however a lot of white people like it because a white chick from a band sings the hook (chorus).  Kinda like when everyone loved Eve because Gwen Stefani sang with her on one song.  Anyhoo, all my friends keep quoting this song.  It's a decent song, however it's becoming overkill.  Too many people are quoting it as if it's some kind of magical formula.  Folks, shooting stars kill people.  Did you not see Armageddon?  The shooting star was coming towards Earth at rapid pace.  Billy Bob Thornton was super nervous about this thing, and he married Angelina Jolie.  It killed Bruce Willis, and he never got to see Liv Tyler marry Ben Affleck.  Sorry I went on that tangent, but understand that shooting stars kill people, and they are DANGEROUS.  It gets worse, now we want to pretend that AIRPLANES at NIGHT are equal to shooting stars.  No no no, people airplanes are bad in the daytime, much less the night sky.  Airplanes drop big blue rocks of poo on the earth.  Airplanes crash into forests.  Ask Ric Flair, almost ended his career before it started.  We'd have never gotten gems like this:



Airplanes aren't very dependable in an overall sense.  Let's change the lyrics to: Can we pretend that the UPS man carrying a big box is Ed McMahon?  I could really use a check right now, a check right now, a check right now.

I Have My Own Mind, Thank You

Now I'm a big fan of Facebook.  I can find old school friends from days gone by.  I can talk to people about stuff without using a telephone.  Facebook has been a fun adventure for me.  My status messages are comedic gold according to those who apparently truly haven't seen anything funny in life.  Overall, it's a good time.  However I have a beef with them.  The website that has overtaken Myspace as the biggest waste of time is now doing my liking and thinking for me.  You ever take notice to that little box on the right side that gives you "recommended pages"?  I'm not afraid to admit that I am a fan of Desperate Housewives.  However I'm not a fan of a website telling me that since I'm a fan of Desperate Housewives, I must be a fan of Grey's Anatomy.  No, I'm not.  I don't like the show, I find it lame.  Same with the whole "22 of your friends like mushrooms, click here."  Look, I love a good mushroom, but to make it a group on facebook and tell me to like it because my friends do?  I thought that whole peer pressure thing was over with in middle school.  I don't want people telling me who to like.  Lately I've noticed that there are a lot of odd "like" categories.  Some that are two and three sentences long.  Look people, don't join just any old group because it's something to do.  The group, "My shoes aren't the same size as they were in kindergarten, but I still want to wear them" is not particularly a good look.  I just noticed that 12 of my friends are fans of Barack Obama.  The same exact number of my friends like Bob Marley.  And twice as many are fans of a quote from Family Guy.  I know this isn't a long blog, so I'll make it up to you by showing a video of my new favorite song.



Run and tell that, homeboy.

Tapout Shirts Are Ruined

You know, I'm a big fan of mixed martial arts.  I love watching the classic battle between two people trying to prove who is better.  The thing about mixed martial arts is that it is way safer than boxing, more disciplined than wrestling, and much more real than professional wrestling.  However there is one part of mixed martial arts that just upsets me.  It's really no fault of their own.  The Tapout Shirt. 

Tapout makes some nice gear and I'd wear it if not for one thing, stigma.  I frequent Buffalo Wild Wings to watch a UFC pay per view to save myself the money it would cost to order it on my own television.  Paying ten bucks for water and some shrimp is a lot cheaper than 40+ dollars to watch TV.  At Buffalo Wild Wings, it's always the same sight.  Young men between the ages of 17 and 24 in ultra tight Tapout brand shirts.  And they walk the exact same way, chest puffed up and arms bent elbows out.  I guess they're trying to give off the impression that they're a lot bigger than God made them.  Sorry guys, you're not that tough.  Tapout doesn't make you any tougher, it's just a stylish shirt.

 The worst part is for some reason, the shirt causes a majority of these kids to want to start a fight.  Lucky for them, they never try with me.  I watch a dude think he can go all Georges St. Pierre on someone at the bar or at the table next door.  Let it go boys, those MMA guys are trained, you're just watchers.  And nine times out of ten, people who brag about how tough they are usually aren't.

It gets even worse.  Now there are dudes who want to be a part of the cast of the Jersey Shore.  I've seen southern fried rednecks wearing Tapout t-shirts and talking with an Italian accent.  They hadn't quite gotten the hang of hair gel, so that ruins it.  It seems that clothing causes people to change their personalities completely.  I'm a victim of it.  I got a Georgetown Starter jacket in 7th grade and thought I was God's gift to Alice Birney Middle School.  I was the same old clumsy dork, just with a cool jacket. 

Girls aren't immune.  I've seen girls in some pretty revealing outfits trying to come off as...more open to promiscuity (I gotta save that one.)  However when they get in some bad situation, they suddenly say that they're "not that kind of girl."  When Tapout Dude gets in some hot water, they're suddenly not nearly as tough.  They say clothes make the man, but truth be told, clothes exposes the man.  Maybe they'd be tougher if they wore an eyepatch.

How I Know God Exists

I have a habit of staying up later than I should now that summer camp is over and there are a couple of weeks before school starts.  I was watching the HBO Comedy channel on TV while scanning for something to watch.  First of all, that's an oxymoron because nothing from HBO is funny, ever.  Anyway, there was Bill Maher doing a stand-up act.  Apparently, he's not a fan of Republicans and George W. Bush in particular.  He was babbling on and on about how religion is phony and all this.  I perked my ears to hear what excuses and reasons he would give for there not being a God.  All he could come up with is "people are corrupt" and "God is invisible."  I just have one thing to say to Mr. Maher, thanks buddy.  He basically just quoted Scripture in his futile attempt to dispute God.  Yes people are corrupt, duh.  The Bible says that all have sinned and come short of the glory of God.  So yes, in Christianity there are very corrupt people and they do a detriment to our God.  The Bible over and over calls God invisible.  It's because we really can't see Him.  We can see His power in our lives.  I've seen miracle after miracle in people's lives.  Now I get to say that Bill Maher has advanced the Gospel better than some preachers.  Not to mention that God has always blessed me when things were going not so great.  I've had a lot of troubles in my life, but I never got flustered because in the end, God wins.  I got to hang out with some friends yesterday and we discussed a lot of things.  The main thing I got out of it was that we are all a blessing to each other.  Whether it's some wise words we've said or attitudes we've had, we've always done well to help each other out.  God always works through our inabilities and inadequacies to bring honor to Himself and His kingdom.  I'm just thankful that people can say the same about me.  It's just a shame that people can't see how good God is with all their blessings. 

My Problem With The News

No I'm not talking about FOX vs MSNBC.  That's a whole new entry in and of itself.  My problem is the depiction of certain individuals in the news.  Watch this clip of a rape attempt gone awry captured by a news station.  The thing that frustrates me is that the news always tends to find the most ignorant of minorities to do interviews with on serious topics.  I guess in that clip, the producers couldn't help who the witnesses were.  However, couldn't they, at the very least, chopped up the video and found the more serious parts of the story.  It's like they went out of their way to find the silly parts.  This next video is pretty funny, but sad at the same time.



I just can't get out of my head that everytime the news has a story in a African American area, the most ignorant fool always gets an interview.  I promise you not all black folk are like that.  One, I've never seen a leprechaun.  Two, I don't make threats on television where there are thousands of witnesses watching.  I'm sure there is one or two black folks in that area they could have interviewed besides these folks.  There's always kind of a "how come you don't act like other black folks" question from folks.  My answer is, if I did I'd come out looking like these people.



YOU MEAN TO TELL ME NOT ONE WHITE PERSON WANTED THE $4.99 CHICKEN SPECIAL!?!??!

If you excuse me, I must play my leprechaun flute and ward off the spell of ignorance.

Train Wreck Reality Shows and the Tyrone Who Loves Them

I was asked by someone recently (Jessica to be specific; there's your dedication) why I liked that new Ochocinco reality show.  She couldn't quite understand why it would be appealing.  I mulled over my answer for 20 minutes before tuning into NBC to see who got voted off America's Got Talent.  I still think CJ Dippa was robbed, but that's my opinion.  I guess the answer to that is simple: I like train wrecks.  I like things that seemed like a good idea on paper, but totally fail when executed, like a Lindsay Lohan jail sentence. 

I guess that's why the Jersey Shore season premiere has me amped.  The thought of 8 people with heavy northern accents and horrible tans living together just gets me excited.  I guess it all started for me when I saw COPS for the first time.  No, not the wretched cartoon about the cyborg police officers.  I'm talking about the COPS that's been on FOX since I was in 4th grade.  To see a bunch of normal (relatively speaking) everyday people getting arrested by officers just made me laugh.  I think the horrible lies they tried to pull off as to why the police were called made it even funnier. 

The Real World (again, relatively speaking) was supposed to be a social experiment to see what happens when 7 random people move into a New York apartment and live together and learn about each other.  In theory it was a great idea, however the main result is two of the cast mates hooked up and, the rest got drunk and yelled at each other for an hour.  Granted, sometimes they addressed important issues, but nine times out of ten, silliness ensued. 

Now the influx of reality television has really caused a commotion.  With people living on islands, people trying to win the love of some B-List celebrity, or the combination of the two; we're really seeing a genre take over the airwaves.  I remember when I was in college at Liberty, kids would leave chapel service early to watch Temptation Island.  I always wondered where everyone went after chapel until one night when it was cancelled, I go to the lounge and there they are.  I'm constantly seeing people post on facebook about how they couldn't believe the bachelor kept one person over another.  I'm guilty of it, too. 

Why are we so enamored with reality television?  Especially considering how not real they are, we shouldn't really be into it.  Well, I won't say that we shouldn't, but at the very least, keep an open mind to the fact that it may be more fabricated than we or producers are willing to admit.  Jennifer Hudson being knocked out of American Idol being my lead example for fakeness of reality.  Survivor is filmed just a few miles away from civilization.  They're not in the wilderness, they're at the park.  Like I said, I think the train wreck style of reality shows just lends itself to be viewed by so many different people.  If you like to see random famous people pretend to be in love, VH1 has about 12 shows for you.  If you like silly folks who you swear you'd never be friends with, MTV usually owns that one.  And if you want to determine the status of random people's length of their 15 minutes of fame, that's all on network television.  Now if you excuse me, I'm going to do some fist pumping and later this week, watch random cooks get chewed out by a British man for burning the risotto.

How Cookies Break Barriers

Today was a good day.  I shared my slightly famous homemade chocolate chip cookies with co-workers and folks.  The first question I got was, "You made these?"  That question is immediately followed with, "From scratch?  Really?"  It's as if a single male is physically incapable of making something from scratch.  The worst part is, it's women who have this notion.  Yes people, the same gender who burned bras in the 60s for feminism.  Yep, the same gender who put their hero Susan B. Anthony on a dollar to celebrate her fighting for suffrage.  This reminds me of a video I saw, I'll share with you.  Feel free to shake your heads in shame.


Anyways, women just don't get that men can do things domestic.  A guy who can seperate his laundry and moisturizes his hands must be a rare thing or something.  So women, I'm just going to ask you to not be so judgmental when a male says that he can cook or clean.  In return, we won't act shocked when you catch a football or change your own oil.  Women have been fighting for many a year to be treated equally.  However when a man excels in the ONE PLACE that women hate being relegated to, they act as if a third arm just popped out of my forehead.  Not fair, at all.  Funny thing, my cookies got rave reviews.  Well, I don't know about rave, but people liked them.  I'm also having an issue with women pulling the "I'm a woman" card at convenient times.  For example, a woman goes shopping for a car.  They go alone and tell their significant other that she can buy a car by herself and doesn't need a man to help her.  However, as soon as the car messes up, she fusses at the man for not going back to that dealer and defending her honor.  You had that honor all by yourself when you went shopping.  Just kind of annoying that there is a double standard.  Either be a helpless damsel or get your own wedding ring out of the plumbing.

Barack Star

I've tried very hard to avoid politics in my life.  It's usually a grimy subject for me.  Usually it's because I don't know enough about the subjects to give a great opinion.  I blame overly biased cable news stations and articles for this lack of knowledge.  Everything is spun to validate the reporters' opinions.  However I must comment on something I learned this afternoon.  President Obama is going to be the first sitting president to ever be on a daytime talk show when he tapes an interview for ABC's The View.  You'd think he'd be on Oprah first considering how she pretty much got every woman who worships her to vote for him, but so life is.  I also learned that Obama will be in EA Sports' Madden NFL 2011 video game. 

Now I think this whole Obama-Mania is going a tad far.  With Jesse Jackson crying, rappers threatening to move to Canada if Barack wasn't elected, and him playing HORSE with Clark Kellogg (that's a whole other subject because surely someone better than Kellogg could have played him and beat him), I'm starting to get a little bothered by this rock star mentality.  I know that he doesn't really ask for all this.  It kinda comes with the territory of being the first brotha to be president.  Yes I spelled it that way on purpose.  Seems like people just can't get past that particular aspect of his life.  There are some pretty good things that he has done.  He inspired many of our nation's children with a simple speech telling them to stay in school.  That's basically what he said if you're a kid who has judgmental parents that took you out of school that day he shared the speech.  I can stand a couple of appearances on things, but he's always on some show or broadcast.  He did guest commentary during the Georgetown-Duke basketball game.  I can't even watch basketball without hearing from the president.  People were comparing my NCAA bracket to Obama's.  I don't care how his bracket is.  He has more important things to worry about than if Murray State can upset Vanderbilt (I called that one, by the way.  He didn't.)  I don't blame all this on Obama.  I blame a lot of this on the media.  Particularly the media that is 'liberal" in reporting.  One outlet (the one whose address is 30 Rock) actually sold Obama keepsakes when he won the election.  I don't mind a media-friendly president.  In fact, I'll embrace it.  However, take a break my man.  Let Ryan Seacrest be the media darling that we poke fun of. 

Introduction

Hello all. I am Tyrone. I tried this before, and it was pretty successful. I decided that I would do this again. This time, I'm going to share my opinion on anything. It could be on sports. It could be on the weather. It could be on politics, however I guarantee you that you won't hear my opinion on any cable news network. Basically, if it's happening on this planet or any other planet, I'm talking about it. Feel free to email me on topics to talk about. I don't even know how this will go. I could give up in like, a month. I probably won't though. I'm tough and stuff. I refuse to give misinformation like that Tea Party guy. I also refuse to insult people of power like the president just because I don't agree with him. I will have at it with any dumb idea that comes about. I've upset a lot of people with my opinions before. I probably will again. However, you chose to read this, so you took on the responsibility of getting offended when you clicked. Outside of facebook.com, I'm really not sure how I'm getting the word out on this thing. I'll figure it out. Maybe the great "word of mouth" will do the trick. Introduction to me: First of all, I'm a Christian. I love God more than anything and truth be told, His word is probably going to be the baseline for my opinions. That will offend a lot, I'm sure. However God's word is a stumblingblock to some. Have fun with that bandage. I'm Tyrone. I am an instructional assistant at an elementary school in Roanoke, VA. I work specifically with children with Autism. Yes it is as tough as it sounds. I used to be a youth pastor, but I had to work 2 other jobs besides that just to keep myself above water. I also felt God calling me to go into education after having a wonderful experience as a substitute teacher. It seems like I'm born for education. I'm contemplating going deeper into it and getting licensed. I don't know if I should or not. I've prayed about it. I'm sure God will make things right if I do it. The extra school thing at 30 isn't appealing though. You're probably wondering where I got the title for this blog. Well, I'm smarter than almost everyone I know, so that explains the "genius" part. The "cheddar biscuits" is a different thing. 1) It's my favorite appetizer ever. 2) If you've seen "The Boondocks" episode where we're introduced to A Pimp Named Slickback, you get this right away. If not, google it. Overall, I'm thankful that I get an outlet to just say whatever. Hopefully, you all will like this blog and enjoy it as much as I enjoy sharing it.