Tapout Shirts Are Ruined

You know, I'm a big fan of mixed martial arts.  I love watching the classic battle between two people trying to prove who is better.  The thing about mixed martial arts is that it is way safer than boxing, more disciplined than wrestling, and much more real than professional wrestling.  However there is one part of mixed martial arts that just upsets me.  It's really no fault of their own.  The Tapout Shirt. 

Tapout makes some nice gear and I'd wear it if not for one thing, stigma.  I frequent Buffalo Wild Wings to watch a UFC pay per view to save myself the money it would cost to order it on my own television.  Paying ten bucks for water and some shrimp is a lot cheaper than 40+ dollars to watch TV.  At Buffalo Wild Wings, it's always the same sight.  Young men between the ages of 17 and 24 in ultra tight Tapout brand shirts.  And they walk the exact same way, chest puffed up and arms bent elbows out.  I guess they're trying to give off the impression that they're a lot bigger than God made them.  Sorry guys, you're not that tough.  Tapout doesn't make you any tougher, it's just a stylish shirt.

 The worst part is for some reason, the shirt causes a majority of these kids to want to start a fight.  Lucky for them, they never try with me.  I watch a dude think he can go all Georges St. Pierre on someone at the bar or at the table next door.  Let it go boys, those MMA guys are trained, you're just watchers.  And nine times out of ten, people who brag about how tough they are usually aren't.

It gets even worse.  Now there are dudes who want to be a part of the cast of the Jersey Shore.  I've seen southern fried rednecks wearing Tapout t-shirts and talking with an Italian accent.  They hadn't quite gotten the hang of hair gel, so that ruins it.  It seems that clothing causes people to change their personalities completely.  I'm a victim of it.  I got a Georgetown Starter jacket in 7th grade and thought I was God's gift to Alice Birney Middle School.  I was the same old clumsy dork, just with a cool jacket. 

Girls aren't immune.  I've seen girls in some pretty revealing outfits trying to come off as...more open to promiscuity (I gotta save that one.)  However when they get in some bad situation, they suddenly say that they're "not that kind of girl."  When Tapout Dude gets in some hot water, they're suddenly not nearly as tough.  They say clothes make the man, but truth be told, clothes exposes the man.  Maybe they'd be tougher if they wore an eyepatch.