Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Why Can't All Girls Be Like Michelle?

People have been giving me a hard time lately about my marital status, or lack thereof.  They wonder why a good looking guy (my words, not theirs) who has a job and is kind and funny can't quite land a wifey.  First reason, the wrong women are being presented to me.  Just a heads up to all my caucasian friends: just because a lady is African-American does not mean I'll be immediately attracted to them.  Please make sure that said African-American lady is attractive in my eyes.  "She's black, you'll like her" is a horrible stategy for setting people up with black men.  However the meaning for this blog is simple.  They're not Michelle Beadle. 

For those of you who are not ESPN watchers...or not a dude, same diff really, Michelle Beadle is the co-host of SportsNation.  It's a television program where sports fans can vote on random topics and the hosts have to guess what the fans voted.  It's about an hour long and is quite entertaining.  This chick could be the perfect woman.  I'm not just blowing smoke, people this is the real deal. 

First of all, she's pretty.  Very pretty.  Second, she is a sports fan.  I guess that kind of comes with the territory for working for ESPN, but still you can tell she likes what she's watching and is into it.  I've always been attracted to female sports reporters.

It all started with Summer Sanders when she co-hosted NBA Inside Stuff every Saturday morning, however her career hasn't been stellar since then.  She also failed at The Celebrity Apprentice.  Then it gradually moved to Bonnie Bernstein.  She was my girl for a long time until I heard rumors of her having a romantic encounter with Patriots coach Bill Belichick.  I don't care if it's true or not, if you don't deny it, you lose my interest quick.  Simply because thinking about him with anything is really gross.  Sorry to all my Patriot fan friends, but you have to admit the Hoodie isn't very appealing.  Then it went to Erin Andrews, whom pretty much everyone loved.  Unfortunate incident with that stalker, but she's getting her justice and that's good.  However I hear rumors that she's making goo goo eyes at the Russian kid from the dancing show and that is a no no.  Any man in tights and sequins cannot be trusted. 

And then, I turn on ESPN2 one day and there she is...in all her glory.  I fell in love right there.  Here is this pretty blonde chick talking about sports and ripping on Alex Rodriguez like he stole her prom date.  I knew that she was the one.  She likes awesome car wrecks on camera, and she named her dog Leeroy Jenkins.    How can you not love her for that?  So, if anyone reading has ANY KIND of connection to Ms. Beadle, could you please hook a brother up?  I'm specifically talking to the three newscaster ladies that are on my facebook friends list.  One I danced with at my roommate's wedding, one I took a picture with at my school when she was the reigning Miss Virginia, and the other I saw at Buffalo Wild Wings watching the UFC fight.  Oh, Michelle likes UFC too, hot diggity.  If I can't get Michelle Beadle, I will gladly take a suitable lady that likes sports and knows who Leeroy Jenkins actually is.

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