Monday, August 9, 2010

Open Letters to Radio Stations and Nancy Grace

Dear Radio Stations, I have a bone to pick with you.  You seem to have a really bad habit that I think you need to kick promptly.  I'm in my car driving somewhere when I hear this: "Late breaking news about (fill in the blank), right after this song."  Now when I hear that news is coming, I get excited.  I get my hopes elevated ready to hear about my favorite actor, maybe a great quote from someone, or a feud between a rich chick and someone with actual talent.  But then, the bad part happens.  The radio station plays THE WORST SONG IN THE WORLD.  Now these songs are interchangable, so don't think it's a specific song.  Although Lady Gaga and that obnoxious girl with the dollar sign in her name consistently make my list.  Please radio stations, don't make me change the channel before the late breaking news comes on.  I usually end up missing that news because I waited too long to change back.  Then I have to google or something.  Play something I like.  Play something that makes me say, "Oh goody, I can't wait to hear that news.  I can live with this song while I'm waiting."

Dear Nancy, thank you for being so awesome.  After I stopped working at the YMCA, I wasn't sure how productive my evenings would be.  I turned on HLN once upon a time and I see you pretty much ripping that Misty Croslin girl apart for not being a good mother.  Well, she's a stepmother and not anymore since she divorced the child's daddy.  You consistently entertain me with your no holds barred commentary on pretty much anything that's an injustice.  Your Southern accent helps a whole lot too.  I knew I should have been DVR-ing you more often when Passions, the only soap opera I've ever admitted watching, made a parody of you in a court case.  Passions, I miss that show.  I miss Timmy, but I digress.  Thank you for bringing the business to all the evil in the world.  Joran Van Der Sloot, Misty Croslin, that producer who killed his wife in Mexico, they all have felt the wrath of the great Nancy Grace.  Thank you.

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