Yesterday's blog was about my fear of taking risks. My fear of just being defeated with absolutely no control of it frightens me. Today, I had a conversation about my fear of risks and other fears that I have. I figured I'd just list them for everyone. I'm not afraid of sharing my life with people, so it's not really any skin off my back. In fact if more people were willing to share their vulnerabilities with others, there would be a lot more understanding and friendships among people.
Pretty much everyone knows that there is one thing I can't stand, it's clowns. Clowns are scary looking. They give me the willies like nothing on this earth. I cringe when I see them at the circus. Last year I went to the circus and couldn't watch the clowns. However, it goes deeper. I have worked for the county school system for a few years now. I worked in a preschool one year and a parent who loved to help out in the classroom decided to dress like a clown. It took every bit of me not to throw red Kool-Aid upon her. I composed myself just enough to tell her, "look, I know who you are and you're awesome for doing this. However I'm mortified of clowns and I'm going to need you to go to the other side of the table for this party. Thank you again." Even if I know who you are, you can even tell me an hour or so beforehand that you're going to dress like a clown; once I see you're a clown...Katie bar the door. Do people still even say that?
This also goes towards all types of flying, stinging creatures such as wasps and yellow jackets. This is a direct result of being chased and stung by 7 wasps after taking a seat on a bench at the marina where my grandparents' houseboat was docked. I sat down, they stung me, and I ran down the dock past the riverside restaurant screaming like a blooming idiot. That wasn't the first time I was stung by a wasp. The first time, a wasp got into my grandparents' houseboat and stung me on the shoulder. I hate those things. I remember standing outside in 101 degree heat not going inside because there was a bee floating by my front door. If I see bees, I'm going the other way. Do not care about anyone else's well being at that point.
I don't know why, but those things give me the creeps. I think it stems from my overexposure to Looney Tunes cartoons. I saw a character, I think it was Daffy Duck, get sucked into the escalator and I was pretty much done with those things. If I have to choose between stairs or escalator, you had better believe I'm doing the steps. People ask if I would go down a broken escalator. Not at all. What if it restarts?
I have to preface this by saying that's it's only unsecured heights. I can handle being up high if I know I'm locked into something. Roller coasters and being in an airplane don't really bother me. If I'm on a high bridge or ski lift, I don't mind that either. However if I'm standing on a ladder or chair with nothing holding me up, I'm done. How wimpy can I be? I'm a shade under 6'5" and I can't stand being too high up.
Fear is a thing that we all have. I don't think it's wrong to have fear. It's a natural emotion. We're allowed to have apprehension. However fear is something we can overcome with God's help and a willingness to be brought towards our fears. Never forget that we can overcome all with God.