Monday, January 2, 2012

Toilet Humor

I will say that in my 29 years and 35 months of living on this planet, one thing I've noticed is that women are perceptive.  They have insight and intuition that would make you wonder if they're psychic or have some kind of magic window into the future.  If a woman has a suspicion that her husband or boyfriend is cheating on her, she's usually right.  If a woman sees a man from about 100 feet, they can tell by how they walk whether or not the guy is worth dating.  Women know when to go out, when to dress up, what side the salad fork goes, and other things that makes you think, "Lady, don't you have anything better to do?"  However there is one thing that for some reason, they can't figure out.  One thing that no matter how many times they get nailed by it, they continue to complain about it.  For some strange reason or another, it eats away at them.  Women for some reason, don't know whether a toilet seat is down or not.  You don't know how many times I hear women complain about the toilet seat being up.  I wonder if these women back up like a semi-truck without looking at the toilet.  It's the one time that they just can't believe that the seat is up.  Women have the best perception of any creature on the planet, yet they can't be bothered to check something.  It's not really that hard to do either. The seat isn't that heavy.  In fact, I can pick up a toilet seat with my pinkie.  Don't want to, but I can.  Putting a seat down is even easier, you have gravity to help you get it down.  Seriously, this bothers me.  Way back, George W. Bush and the U.S. military had a devil of a time finding Saddam Hussein.  All you have to do is tell a woman that Saddam Hussein was trying to steal her man at about 8 o'clock in the morning, she will have found him by 8 o'clock that night.  However, she can't tell whether a porcelain oval is 9 to 11 inches away from  a big hole?  Confuses me to no end.  And don't tell me about it being too dark to see.  You'll turn on every light in the house to make sure your purse matches your shoes, yet you won't turn on a light to see where you're peeing?  Priorities, people.

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