Saturday, March 24, 2012

Weather and People

I've noticed something about this planet, and this country in particular.  People do weird things.  I've also noticed that people do even weirder things when the weather is involved.  I'm going to list the weird things people do, if this is you, well fix yourself.

1.  Shopping
Whenever there is some kind of weather warning; whether it be a snowstorm, thunderstorm, tornado, whatever, the first thing people do is go to the store and buy bread and milk.  I understand going out and getting supplies in case there is some serious damage.  However, bread and milk are not the most ideal things to buy.  If there is no electricity, how are you keeping your milk cold?  Burying it in the snow is an option, but some animal may dig it up.  Bread, as good as it is, gets really boring when there's no butter and/or toaster to improve it.  The butter needs to be cold, so does the cheese and cold cuts for sandwiches.  Point being bread and milk are useless in a weather situation.  You need to buy canned goods and gallons of water.  And tuna fish, because I love me some tuna fish.

2.  Under Dressing
This is more true of white folks, at least in my experiences anyway.  I go outside to check the weather before I go to work.  Sometimes it's about 50-60 degrees Fahrenheit.  I have to specify which temperature scale for our international readers.  I go outside and see white folks shivering in shorts.  I ask them why they're wearing shorts in this cold weather. They say that it's supposed to be 80.  But it's not 80 now.  It's easier to take layers off than to magically have them appear on your body.  I also love how they tell me that it's not that cold to them.  They're turning purple, shivering, and keeping their hands in the pockets.  Somebody lying.

3.  Storm Chasers
Now this is just stupid.  People hear about a tornado or hurricane.  Instead of running for cover, they freaking RUN TOWARDS IT!!!  I know that's a strong statement with the caps and exclamation points, but good heavens.  Winds gusting at like, 200 miles per hour and blowing everything under the clouds (since there's no sun to be seen) into where ever it feels like going.  Didn't you people see that cow in Twister?  Why are you chasing something that can pick up a cow with ease?  Would you pick a fight a with a man that could easily throw 2000 pounds anywhere he wanted?  Why would you chase a tornado that does it?  Tornadoes have no soul and no remorse.

4.  Not Evacuating
Anyone remember Hurricane Katrina?  Remember those images of people on the roofs of their houses begging for help?  They wouldn't have needed help if they would have evacuated like the government told them to.  Yes, the people doing the helicopter footage should have lowered a rope and picked them up instead of sharing the videos with news viewers.  However, sometimes the government is actually right about something.  So, when they tell you that you should leave, don't poo poo on it.  Actually get out.  They have buses and stuff to get you places.  Don't let your pride get in the way of common sense.

That's all I got.  The weather is a dangerous thing, be ready for it.

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