Thursday, September 27, 2012


We have a problem in America.  Drugs are a huge issue.  Drugs have caused stupidity, robbery, assaults, and even murders.  There is just so much that happens because of the drug crisis in America.  Well, America, I can honestly say that I have finally found an alternative to crack.  I have finally figured out something that people would do considerable damage for that won't kill them.  I should get a medal for this.

Wednesday, the class I work in at school went to Homestead Creamery in Wirtz, VA.  This is a local dairy farm and creamery that sells butter, ice creams, and milks.  The food is tremendous.  They actually sell an orange cream milk that tastes just like a Dreamsicle.  They usually give touring groups free samples milks and ice creams for the people to taste.  My favorite flavor ice cream is Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough.  I usually go with it with little to no hesitation.  However, for some odd reason, I decided to attempt to taste a new flavor I'd never thought would make a good ice cream flavor.  Now, I'm pretty much jonesing for it everyday.  I honestly think I'll buy about 10 cartons of it when it hits the Kroger stores.

Pumpkin flavored ice cream is amazing.  If you ever get a chance to have Homestead Creamery Pumpkin Ice Cream, get it.  Enjoy it.  After that, you can thank me for introducing you to this glorious ice cream.  I truly believe that this can replace crack as the most addictive thing ever.  If you're really wanting to stop smoking cigarettes, drinking liquor, or watching terrible reality shows, replace them with Pumpkin Ice Cream.  I'm that high on it.  And the best thing, you don't get high off of it.

There you go, Nancy Reagan, if you introduced this during your Just Say No campaign, I pretty much guarantee that the drug war would have been nothing but a water balloon fight. I do expect a large paycheck and royalties from this breakthrough.  I would say that Homestead Creamery deserves something, but the sales they'll make from their Pumpkin Ice Cream is more than enough.


  1. Say hello to Michelle Obama for encouraging obesity.

  2. I can just tell people that I didn't write that. Seems to work for her husband.