Monday, October 22, 2012

My Apologies

So I kind of missed doing this blog.  It's been a combination of exhaustion and illness that has kept me from posting my opinions and feelings and stuff.  I'll explain.

I work probably close to 70 hours per week.  I work pretty hard for my church as well.  I've realized that I am wearing myself thin at times.  Yes, it's rewarding, and I wouldn't trade my jobs for anything.  However, you do have to pace yourself when doing things you love.  You have to find time for yourself.  As a result of my hard work, I came down with something fierce.  Just to be respectful, I'll just say that I had a stomach issue that resulted in dehydration and frequent bathroom trips.  It lasted for about 3 or 4 days.  I was left exhausted and tuckered out.  I think that was my body's way of telling me I was trying to do too much.

I'm kind of at a weird point.  Sometimes I have to ask myself why I do what I do.  It seems like I do everything the right way and things still go kind of wrong.  You try to follow the rules, things go wrong.  You try to make your own rules, things go wrong.  You try to go slow, it's not quick enough.  You try to speed up, you're jumping the gun.  It's just kind of unfair that there isn't one simple thing you have to do to make things work right.  Life's like my old Kia, sometimes.  My old Kia had a different set of rules than every other car on the planet.  Crazy.

I saw a sign in someone's yard that seemed to be political.  It asked a question: "Are you REALLY better off now than 4 years ago?"  I know that it was about if you were richer than you were when Obama was voted into office.  I thought about that question.  I thought about where I was 4 years ago compared to now.  Four years ago, I was in between careers.  I was just finished with my career as a youth pastor at a church.  I was working 3 jobs just to make ends meet.  My youth ministry career was struggling because I was just so exhausted from working that I couldn't minister.  While doing youth ministry, I found a new love, special education.  I worked hard after I stopped doing youth ministry to get into special education.  I've been doing special education for a little over 4 years now.

I have to say that I am better off.  I'm where God wants me.  I'm where I feel most comfortable.  I have more friends now.  I'm gaining new friends monthly.  Truth be told, I've made a couple of really great friends through my work at my school.  I have other friends that I feel like I love and care for outside of school and stuff.  The point is, yeah, I'm not filthy rich.  I'm not driving a Mercedes.  However, I'm at a church that doesn't wear me out and complain about how tired I look after doing 2 jobs before getting there.  I'm at a job that I feel is triple rewarding.  I have awesome people in my life that I love hanging out with.  I am better off.

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