Forgiveness...How to Do It in Twelve Thousand Easy Steps

Forgive according to dictionary.com means:

1. to grant pardon for or remission of (an offense, debt, etc.); absolve.

2. to give up all claim on account of; remit (a debt, obligation, etc.).

3. to grant pardon to (a person).

4. to cease to feel resentment against: to forgive one's enemies.

5. to cancel an indebtedness or liability of: to forgive the interest owed on a loan.

 

I wanted to stress that fourth definition.  I have been having trouble with forgiveness lately.  I was hurt very badly by someone I thought cared about me.  And for a while, I harbored some harsh harsh feelings about it.  Even though I believe I did everything correct, I didn't do one thing right.  I didn't forgive.  I didn't cease resentment like I was supposed to.  I tried to let go, but I couldn't get over the pain.  So I did something today, I told the person who hurt me that she and her family were forgiven by me.  I don't have a hatred for them at all, never really did.  However I did have anger in my heart from the hurt.  Everyday consisted of inner dialogue over how upset I was over the hurt I felt.  Everyday, my mind was filled with "how could this have ended differently?"  Now that I have forgiven, I can honestly say that I don't care how it could have ended differently.  I did what God told me to do.  God told me to forgive my enemies and bless those that persecute you.  So with this, I can say that I am done.  Now, will I forgive and forget?  No way.  God doesn't let you go through the trials you go through just to forget them.  He uses them as teaching tools so that when you're in that situation again, you can answer the question "how do I get through this?"  My heart is clear.  My conscience is appeased.  God is happy with me for what I did.  I couldn't care less anymore what the other person thinks.  I couldn't care less if the other person perceives me as a bad person.  I know that I did what God wanted me to do in our entire relationship and for that, I'm proud of myself.  I'm proud of my ability to let God work through me so that I could do what He wanted.  So again, I say that you who have hurt me are forgiven.  You that prejudged me before you knew me are forgiven.  God has blessed me with wonderful people in my life that refuse to let me feel bad.  I am surrounded by wonderful friends who have nothing but my best interest in mine.  God will show those who hurt me what for.  He always does.  Sometimes I have to ask God to have mercy on those that hurt His people because it comes so swiftly.  God has forgiven them and me, the least I can do is forgive them for their hurt.  Don't ever let things grind on you.  Be thankful for what God has put you though and chalk it up as a chance to glorify Him.  When you're hurt, let it marinate, cry it out, do whatever it takes.  However, don't let it eat at you.  Once it does that, they won.  Don't let those who hurt you win.  You stay strong and forgive.