To my Grandma

Hey Grandma, it's me TJ.  I just wanted to say something to you that I couldn't say to you.  Right now, you're in a much better place.  See, you've been one of my biggest supporters all my life.  You never hesitated to give me a hug or kiss and just tell me you love me.  God blessed me with you over the span of 4 decades.  I got to spend time with you on the houseboat at Bucksport.  Those were some of my favorite times.  I remember when Grandpa and I would go out fishing, then we'd give you the fish and you'd clean them for us and fry it up on that tiny little stove on the boat.  I think that kitchen was the perfect size for you.  I remember staying up pretty late in the summer time with you and Grandpa watching The Arsenio Hall Show.  I remember watching Wheel of Fortune and Jeopardy with Grandpa.  You'd never cheer for me.  Even though I was your little T, you never stopped standing by your man.  I remember that day I got attacked by those wasps on the dock.  I ran down that dock crying, screaming, and yelling.  All you did was walk calmly and tell me to hush.  Even after we realized that you got stung and your hand swoll up and looked like a boxing glove, you had the calmest demeanor ever.  You were a rock.  I saw the hurt you had when Grandpa died.  You stayed as tough as you could through all the mess with Grandpa's belongings.  Through those last few years, particularly the ones in the nursing home, I couldn't look at you without hurting.  I had the hardest time ever getting myself to go visit you in that place.  I couldn't stand to see you like that.  Now you have your perfect body in Heaven.  You're out with Grandpa on that houseboat in Heaven, probably cleaning fish that he caught even though God said we'd never have to work again.  You were always one to do things your way.  Grandma, I love you so much.  Everyday will be dedicated to making you and Grandpa and Daddy proud of me.  I'm going to see Mom and Tristan soon.  They love and miss you too.  I'm sure you knew that.  My heart is broken right now.  God is going to help me through this.  He always does.