Sunday, June 16, 2013

What If...

So obviously it's Fathers' Day.  If your Facebook friends' random pictures of their dad didn't tell you, I'm sure some suit store commercial did.  Fathers' Day has a completely different meaning to me.  You see, I was only blessed to have my father in my life for six years.  I won't go through all the details, but he passed away tragically.  I had a stepfather who wasn't quite sure how to be a father, or any kind of man for that matter.  I have a stepfather now who I know loves my family very much.  I don't get too choked up or concerned about Fathers' Day because of all those factors.

I always wonder, "what if my father were still alive today?"  It's quite the haunting thought.  I think about if I would be in the position I would be in right now.  I wonder if I would have the life I have.  Would my family have moved to South Carolina if Dad were still alive?  Would I have been as active in church?  Would I have even gone to church?  It's a really deep line of thinking.  It's almost like soul searching, really.

I think it's better not to think in those terms.  In the end, God has me exactly where I need to be.  Everything that has happened in my life is exactly the way my life was supposed to go.  We always talk ask, "why do bad things happen to good people?"  The truth is there really is no such thing as good people, just people doing good things.  We're all kinds of messed up sometimes.  I think things happen to us to teach us lessons. Sometimes, those lessons are hard.  Sometimes, those lessons come days, weeks, months, even years afterwards.

I think that happened to me.  My father's death when I was six was very confusing.  However I truly believe that God had a plan.  It took pretty much my college career to truly realize that plan.  I know some of you are rolling your eyes at the idea that God had a plan through all this, but it's the truth.  When I saw God leading me to teach youth, I saw the light.  When the Good Lord led me to be in special education, I really got the idea.

My father's death was truly saddening.  It was maddening as well.  It was just a bad time.  However now that I know that it was the catalyst to how my is life now, I'm not as bothered by it.  I also know that my father is in Heaven, watching down and cheering me on.  It has taught me about faith, strength, and patience. Patience especially.  Patience for God's plan.  Patience with other people.  Patience with life in general.

I want to wish all those fathers out there.  Not babydaddys, that's a stupid and disrespectful term.  I'm talking true fathers.  Those who dedicate their lives to their kids.  Those who do everything to make their kids better, including treating their mothers with respect.  I want to say Happy Fathers' Day to you.  Be blessed.

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