Thursday, January 31, 2013

I Thought I Got Rid of the Crazies

Alright, obviously I've met some pretty nutty characters in my life.  In fact, I'd venture to say that I've been around more crazies than the law should allow.  It's pretty unhealthy to be around the crazies.  Crazies can cause stress.  Crazies can cause problems.  Crazies can eat you out of house and home.  Crazies can get you put in jail if they can convince the right person.  It's really touch and go how you handle these crazies.  I think I've become the authority on how to handle a crazy person.  It took a little training.  Some people don't get all the practice I've had, so they will never be an authority.  So it's best to just follow my lead on this.

It started in preschool.  There was this mean girl that rode my bus.  Everyday, she'd scratch me and bully me on the bus.  Me being the gentleman I was, decided to just ignore the behavior.  Mom saw the scratches one day and asked what happened.  I told her.  Mom said fight back.  So I did, and she never messed with me again.

Then there was that annoying whack job in 3rd grade.  I handled her kind of quickly.  I remembered mom's words about defending myself.  I stuck her in a closet.  It worked.  She knew better.

There was daycare in 4th grade.  Not my proudest moment, but if you'd have seen the nut job that messed with me that day, you'd understand.  The girl was a 5th grader, was about 6 feet tall, 409 pounds, and meaner than a hippo with a hernia.  She messed with me, so I hauled off and smacked her.  Told her to leave me alone.  However, she knew better than to mess with me anymore.

As I got older, I realized that throwing crazy people in the closet or whacking them wasn't the most sound strategy.  Plus, you could go to jail.  So I handled the crazies in more diplomatic ways.  There was the catfish incident that I detailed in my last blog.  I handled that like a Sherlock Homeboy.

I had a crazy set of roommates, mainly a mother and her son.  They were of no help to me.  They spent money on everything but important things, like electricity.  I realized that the best way to rid myself of them was to pray like crazy.  It worked.

I had a crazy ex-girlfriend.  Possibly the craziest of them all.  The things she did and accused me of were pretty nutty.  I just laugh.  It helps a lot.

I recently got a roommate who I thought was excited about the opportunity to live somewhere safe that wasn't a hotel.  Come to find out, she's bat-poo bonkers.  Talking to herself, not getting up to take care of basic physiological needs (read between the lines), and eating everyone's food with little to no reciprocity.  Actually, there was no reciprocity.  She made the biggest messes and called us filthy.  Kind of whack, honestly.  I evicted her, she's leaving tomorrow.  She says she is.  One of her personalities said she was leaving.  The others, we'll see.

Crazy is something I've dealt with all my life.  I don't want to make light of mental illness, but it seems like the ones I come across are kind of malicious.  It's like their crazy isn't really crazy, just down right not nice.  It's like they couldn't care less what they look like in the end, as long as they try to mess me up.

You're going to come across people that are wanting to put you down.  People who want to bring you down into the abyss.  You have to be strong.  Be smart.  Fight back.  Don't allow people to be your downfall.  God has a plan for you.  You stick to that plan, the crazies can't beat you.

Next time a crazy tries to bring you down, give the battle to God.  God has your back.

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