Before anyone asks, this isn't a personal affront to anyone or any particular time in my life. Just something I've noticed lately.
Now that that's out of the way, to the task at hand. I have a question about life, and in particular, interpersonal relationships. When did we get so bad at interpersonal relationships? I'm not talking about being nice to people. I'm talking about accepting and trusting in someone who is being nice to you. I know, that's a weird question. It seems as if lately, people have stopped accepting kindness, but what happened?
I'm going to go somewhere that may offend people, but I'm allowed to say whatever I want on my blog until you pay my Internet bill. I think the rejection of kindness started with the Feminist movement. I truly believe that Feminism basically shut down the idea of a male being genuinely nice to a female. There was a belief among Feminists that when a male showed any kind of kindness, there were ulterior motives, imagined or otherwise. It's unfair that a certain sect of people can dictate how other people are perceived.
Another reason is that there are jerks out there that are untrustworthy. We think of the Bill Cosbys, Darren Sharpers, and other men who have used substances to take advantage of women. It's come to a point where no one trusts a nice person anymore. There's a feeling that someone wants something else. It's kind of bothersome.
I think the evolution of the family has a lot to do with things. Stay with me on this one. Way back when, the father stayed with the family. There wasn't nearly as much divorce or even cohabitation as there is now. Families are doing things backwards: having kids, moving in, then maybe marriage at the end. Anyway, when a father was in the home, they taught their sons and daughters to ask about intentions. Fathers would sit down with their daughters' dates, after they knocked on the door and were let in the home, and asked, "What are your intentions with my daughter? I want her back by 9:30, 10:00." That doesn't happen anymore. When you don't know someone's intentions, you really have no clue what to expect. The result is being taken advantage of to the point where you don't trust.
Also, the stigma of being alone isn't helping. This generation cries about being single so much. Being single doesn't make you a bad person. However, because being single is such a terrible vice nowadays, people aren't diligently researching potential partners. When potential partner hurts them, they lose trust. When someone comes along that is trustworthy and kind, they again dismiss them because of all the other times they were hurt.
Ego is a huge factor as well. What happened to humility? People are so egotistical that when someone just says hello, opens a door, or is just genuinely kind to them, it's automatically chalked up to that person wanting more than is being presented. I'll put it this way: you could be the most gorgeously baked, crispy peach cobbler with the most decadent of whipped cream. There are still people that don't like peaches. You have to stop assuming that your attractiveness is a factor in why people do things for you. Maybe for some, but not all. Take it on a case by case basis. Makes life easier.
My point in all this is that we as human beings have to stop shutting down the notion that people are nice for the sake of being nice. People have to stop judging people based on other people when it comes to kindness. If someone is being nice, it doesn't mean they want to take advantage of you. I think we have to stop thinking that we're so amazing that everyone who wants to be respectful to us is being phony. We also have to do a better job of teaching people how to understand intentions. We also have to do a better job of being trustworthy. We have to stop giving people reasons not to trust us.
Kindness doesn't have to be the means to something else, it can actually be the end.
Tuesday, August 18, 2015
Friday, July 3, 2015
Just Thinking Out Loud
Lately I've just been fascinated by people. Some people are jerks. I guess I shouldn't be surprised by that considering we all are born with sin in our lives. However, it's just so funny how people who claim to love others and want everyone treated fairly gets so hostile when someone doesn't particularly agree with whatever stance they're taking. I guess if people feel passionate about it, I can understand. People, though are getting much worse at understanding why someone feels the way they feel.
I fell into the trap of commenting on a news story about the Confederate flag. I asked a simple question, "what heritage does it truly represent?" I didn't get a lot of feedback from the supporters of the flag. The ones that did respond simply said that it was a part of the celebration of the Southern way of life. I asked what about the Southern way of life did they love the most. There really wasn't much of an intelligent answer after that. Just a bunch of "it's not slavery", "don't be so sensitive" and the like.
This has been how I've been responded to any time I've had a discussion about the flag. It's fairly annoying how folks can't truly discuss this without being defensive. I've learned that the more defensively hostile someone gets about a subject, the more they know they might be wrong about it. The best thing, or not, is when someone tells me it's like my African heritage. News flash: wasn't born in Africa. My heritage growing up consisted of pro wrestling, Voltron, and string cheese. My point is that it's silly to get this defensive over a flag, particularly a flag of a country that doesn't exist anymore. I've seen more Confederate flags these last few weeks than American flags on my Facebook. That's troubling considering it's almost the 4th of July.
Now, I'm going to put this out there with little to no care how you feel about it. The Confederate flag is stupid. It's a waste of cloth and dye. When it was flown in the late 1800s, it was a battle flag for a treasonous group of people. Forget the slavery part, the fact is the Confederacy committed treason against the United States of America. They attacked the United States in hopes of getting their way of life to be adopted by the entire country. There was a changing of philosophy that the South wasn't interested in.
Part of that change was the fact that folks realized that owning people and treating them like second class, inferior citizens wasn't what the Constitution meant when it said "all men are created equal." The South particularly would have suffered the most from the sudden drop of property value and personal equity with the freeing of slaves. If there is one thing that everyone, misguided or otherwise, is motivated by, it's the loss of money.
After the war, the flag was adopted by white supremacy groups who thought it would make a good intimidation tool to the suddenly free black people. The same white supremacists who declared that they were seceding from the Union because they wanted black people to remember their place below the white man. I digress. They waved the flag during the lynching of black people and when black people were attempting to do anything of significance in America. It was raised again during desegregation. Now South Carolina claims that they first raised their Confederate flag on their state house to commemorate the beginning of the Civil War. However, I do find it fairly convenient and coincidental that the Civil Rights Movement was happening at the time. If you really want to get a grasp for when and if the flag was a part of an effort to squash the desegregation of schools, look at some of the schools in the south with the mascot of "Rebels" or even in a case of a school my school played against in sports, "Confederates" and figure out when they adopted said mascot. If it was in the 60s or later, pretty good chance they didn't want black people there. Hence the flying of the Confederate flag at their games and even flying them at the school itself. Point being, this flag is divisive. No need for that.
Now people are getting upset because certain entities are distancing themselves from the Confederate flag. As far as government places, I'm all for it. A government can't be married to something divisive. I feel the same way about them jumping on the gay flag bandwagon too. No need to align yourself with a divisive symbol. And before you ask, the Ten Commandments tell us not to kill, steal, or lie. If you're against that, there's no help for you. Anyway, as far as private companies, it's their prerogative. If Viacom doesn't want to air Dukes of Hazzard, as much as I'm against that because I enjoyed the show, it's their right. If NASCAR wants to separate themselves from the symbol, by all means. It's not fair to boycott and dismiss companies because they want to make everyone feel comfortable being there and expand their market base. When you're a business who wants to make money, you have to think of everything. Now, if not making money is your thing and you're just willing to serve to a particular fan base, then you can do that too. I'm not going to stop you, and no else should either.
My point in all this rambling is that the hostility over this particular flag is useless. People are going to feel how they feel about it, no matter how much you try to dress it up as heritage, hate, controversy, or indifference. I have people I'm very good with that like that flag, and that doesn't bother me because I know their heart. And I've shared my thoughts with them, and they're cool with it. However for those of you that feel like it's your place to tell me what I should and shouldn't be feeling about the flag, kick rocks. I go with what I see, and I see a flag that can hurt people. I see a flag that causes division. I see a flag that brings terrible memories to folks much older and wiser than me. However, I also see a waste of cloth and dye.
Pledge your allegiance to the flag of the United States of America. And to the republic for which it stands, ONE nation under God, INDIVISIBLE with liberty and justice for ALL.
Always remember that just because you may not sign off on it, it's a fact that most people don't see that flag as doing anything particularly good for the country. The country that most supporters claim to love...
I fell into the trap of commenting on a news story about the Confederate flag. I asked a simple question, "what heritage does it truly represent?" I didn't get a lot of feedback from the supporters of the flag. The ones that did respond simply said that it was a part of the celebration of the Southern way of life. I asked what about the Southern way of life did they love the most. There really wasn't much of an intelligent answer after that. Just a bunch of "it's not slavery", "don't be so sensitive" and the like.
This has been how I've been responded to any time I've had a discussion about the flag. It's fairly annoying how folks can't truly discuss this without being defensive. I've learned that the more defensively hostile someone gets about a subject, the more they know they might be wrong about it. The best thing, or not, is when someone tells me it's like my African heritage. News flash: wasn't born in Africa. My heritage growing up consisted of pro wrestling, Voltron, and string cheese. My point is that it's silly to get this defensive over a flag, particularly a flag of a country that doesn't exist anymore. I've seen more Confederate flags these last few weeks than American flags on my Facebook. That's troubling considering it's almost the 4th of July.
Now, I'm going to put this out there with little to no care how you feel about it. The Confederate flag is stupid. It's a waste of cloth and dye. When it was flown in the late 1800s, it was a battle flag for a treasonous group of people. Forget the slavery part, the fact is the Confederacy committed treason against the United States of America. They attacked the United States in hopes of getting their way of life to be adopted by the entire country. There was a changing of philosophy that the South wasn't interested in.
Part of that change was the fact that folks realized that owning people and treating them like second class, inferior citizens wasn't what the Constitution meant when it said "all men are created equal." The South particularly would have suffered the most from the sudden drop of property value and personal equity with the freeing of slaves. If there is one thing that everyone, misguided or otherwise, is motivated by, it's the loss of money.
After the war, the flag was adopted by white supremacy groups who thought it would make a good intimidation tool to the suddenly free black people. The same white supremacists who declared that they were seceding from the Union because they wanted black people to remember their place below the white man. I digress. They waved the flag during the lynching of black people and when black people were attempting to do anything of significance in America. It was raised again during desegregation. Now South Carolina claims that they first raised their Confederate flag on their state house to commemorate the beginning of the Civil War. However, I do find it fairly convenient and coincidental that the Civil Rights Movement was happening at the time. If you really want to get a grasp for when and if the flag was a part of an effort to squash the desegregation of schools, look at some of the schools in the south with the mascot of "Rebels" or even in a case of a school my school played against in sports, "Confederates" and figure out when they adopted said mascot. If it was in the 60s or later, pretty good chance they didn't want black people there. Hence the flying of the Confederate flag at their games and even flying them at the school itself. Point being, this flag is divisive. No need for that.
Now people are getting upset because certain entities are distancing themselves from the Confederate flag. As far as government places, I'm all for it. A government can't be married to something divisive. I feel the same way about them jumping on the gay flag bandwagon too. No need to align yourself with a divisive symbol. And before you ask, the Ten Commandments tell us not to kill, steal, or lie. If you're against that, there's no help for you. Anyway, as far as private companies, it's their prerogative. If Viacom doesn't want to air Dukes of Hazzard, as much as I'm against that because I enjoyed the show, it's their right. If NASCAR wants to separate themselves from the symbol, by all means. It's not fair to boycott and dismiss companies because they want to make everyone feel comfortable being there and expand their market base. When you're a business who wants to make money, you have to think of everything. Now, if not making money is your thing and you're just willing to serve to a particular fan base, then you can do that too. I'm not going to stop you, and no else should either.
My point in all this rambling is that the hostility over this particular flag is useless. People are going to feel how they feel about it, no matter how much you try to dress it up as heritage, hate, controversy, or indifference. I have people I'm very good with that like that flag, and that doesn't bother me because I know their heart. And I've shared my thoughts with them, and they're cool with it. However for those of you that feel like it's your place to tell me what I should and shouldn't be feeling about the flag, kick rocks. I go with what I see, and I see a flag that can hurt people. I see a flag that causes division. I see a flag that brings terrible memories to folks much older and wiser than me. However, I also see a waste of cloth and dye.
Pledge your allegiance to the flag of the United States of America. And to the republic for which it stands, ONE nation under God, INDIVISIBLE with liberty and justice for ALL.
Always remember that just because you may not sign off on it, it's a fact that most people don't see that flag as doing anything particularly good for the country. The country that most supporters claim to love...
Saturday, June 20, 2015
My Feelings on My Town
I know it's been almost forever since my last blog. I apologize. I'm a busy person. I do stuff. Anyway, I figured today would be a good day to share my feelings. However, I feel I need to lay down some ground rules. These are my feelings. You don't get to tell me how I should feel. You don't get to tell me that my feelings are wrong. You don't get to give me grief about my opinion and feelings. I'm being completely reactionary.
My first feeling was absolute fear. I called my mother immediately after I heard the news. I hadn't spoken to her in a while. We're both busy people, it happens. I was scared that there was a madman on the loose in my hometown. I worried about my friends. I worried about my family. I worried about other landmarks that I've seen and visited in Charleston since I was seven years old. What about Market Street? How about the Harbor? Was Waterfront Park on this kid's list? I was scared.
When I first heard the story of him targeting this church, it turned to confusion. Why would you go to a church to shoot people? Was there less guilt in sending Christians to Heaven? I was confused about what may have been his motive. I didn't want to believe the ultimate motive, but considering it was a very historical A.M.E. church (the first one in the South), it wasn't beyond the realm of possibility, which led to me next emotion.
I was pissed. I was angry that a person would target black people. I was angry that someone thought so little of black people that their only option was to shoot nine of them dead. After being welcomed into the fold by said black people. After being loved on enough to open the Word of God to him, he felt the best way to repay them was to spew some hateful garbage and then shoot them. It angered me that my Christian brothers and sisters were slaughtered like they were in a Muslim country. However, the anger didn't just stay with this situation.
I became angry at responses. People dismissing this man's sin and hatred as "just another case of mental illness." People even blamed Obama for this man's sin. I'm sorry, but I don't believe the President of the United States of America would encourage violence towards others. In fact, he made it a point to say that he's had to address a mass murder of some sort 14 times during his two terms. Think about that, then tell me that it's his fault. I was mad at Fox News for telling us that we shouldn't consider this a race crime because it might make some people upset. I was mad at some of my Facebook friends for their undying allegiance to any opinion that was similar.
I then became proud. I was proud because I watched on Thursday morning/afternoon a mass of Charlestonians singing "On Christ the Solid Rock I Stand." It made me so proud that I bawled. I bawled like a baby. I have no problem admitting that to you. It was a mix of pride in my city, love for my Lord, and sadness in my heart. I was proud of the Facebook friends that posted constantly about prayer, love, forgiveness, mercy, grace, and pride. It made my heart glad that there were people who felt like I felt.
I then became confused again. During those news reports that I watched vigilantly, a state politician made this eye-opening statement: "If we can't be black in church, where can we be black in America?" It was a good question. Church is supposed to be kind of a safe haven. That place where you can share your love for God, your struggles with life, and your support for your Christian brothers and sisters. It disappeared for those fleeting moments. I saw in my mind and in my heart black folks being terrified, nervous, or confused about church and the banner of love Christ puts over us. I could totally understand that. However, I was still confused as to how a place like that wasn't that place.
I then felt relief. When I heard the news that the shooter was captured, it calmed my spirit down. It's okay to be nervous. It's a natural emotion. Thank God for Debbie Dills and her quick thinking. She says she's not a hero, but she is certainly someone we can take an example from. Do the right thing, no matter what. God knows the right thing, He'll tell you if you let Him. She did, and he's in jail.
I then was angry again. I was angry because I saw an image that frightened me, but didn't overwhelmingly surprise me. I saw the Confederate flag flying high while the American flag and State flag of South Carolina was at half mast. It made my blood boil that the one thing that most black people consider to be the most offensive, divisive, evil symbol in America was flying high and proud as their people were in complete mourning over the atrocity that happened. You would think that the General Assembly (state law prohibits Governor Haley from any say in when and if the flag comes down, so she gets a slight pass even though she should use some executive powers, throw up deuces to the racists, and tear down that flag) would have some class about them. That flag flying high tells every black person that even when the worst happens to you, your feelings don't matter. They may not have said it, but it's a sentiment. That angers me. What angered me more was that there were people defending that flag. They say that it's a defense of a way of life. That way of life included going to a foreign country; either brokering a deal or flat out kidnapping people; dragging them on a boat and shipping them thousands of miles away from their home; parading them like farm animals at the county fair; selling them; and forcing them to do backbreaking work all because you'd rather sit on your front porch and drink lemonade. That's the right that the states flew that flag for. I'm sorry, but that's evil. Dragging people around, beating them, forcing them to work, bathe you, or have sex with you is fricking wrong. That flag tells black people that they are less than a person. The Confederate flag that was put on the state house in 1962 was a blatant middle finger to desegregation and the Civil Rights movement, case closed. My anger is geared towards anyone who defends dividing the country. And telling me to get over it, it wasn't you so don't worry about it, stop being offended, or anything like that is a one way ticket to me considering you dumber than mayonnaise. That's one of those opinions I'm asking you to let me have.
However my anger multiplied even more when I see Judge Idiot Face (stole that from WWE World Heavyweight Champion Seth Rollins) demanding the victims' families to feel bad for the alleged shooter's family instead for themselves for just losing someone. I'm going to hope that this judge doesn't ever preside over a case again. He used the n-word during a bond hearing. I'm pretty sure he's one of those dumber than mayonnaise morons. How can someone say those kinds of things at that time. And it wasn't like he softly professed that this family was sad, I'm sure they were, but to demand that people just coddle the shooter's family is ridiculous.
However, now I'm at peace. I'm at peace because my God is strong. My God showed Himself in my hometown. My God is being magnified and glorified in the darkest time. I've had terrible feelings about Columbine, Virginia Tech, Sandy Hook, Jonesboro, and many other places. However, seeing the streets I've walked, rode past, or driven past affected by a tragedy is a special kind of hurt. However, I know my God is bigger than anything. I cannot hide my bias, Charleston just wrote the book on "How to Come Back from Adversity Before Sharpton Shows Up."
I said it before, I'll say it again. He shouldn't have messed with buckle of the Bible belt. Wrong church, wrong city.
My first feeling was absolute fear. I called my mother immediately after I heard the news. I hadn't spoken to her in a while. We're both busy people, it happens. I was scared that there was a madman on the loose in my hometown. I worried about my friends. I worried about my family. I worried about other landmarks that I've seen and visited in Charleston since I was seven years old. What about Market Street? How about the Harbor? Was Waterfront Park on this kid's list? I was scared.
When I first heard the story of him targeting this church, it turned to confusion. Why would you go to a church to shoot people? Was there less guilt in sending Christians to Heaven? I was confused about what may have been his motive. I didn't want to believe the ultimate motive, but considering it was a very historical A.M.E. church (the first one in the South), it wasn't beyond the realm of possibility, which led to me next emotion.
I was pissed. I was angry that a person would target black people. I was angry that someone thought so little of black people that their only option was to shoot nine of them dead. After being welcomed into the fold by said black people. After being loved on enough to open the Word of God to him, he felt the best way to repay them was to spew some hateful garbage and then shoot them. It angered me that my Christian brothers and sisters were slaughtered like they were in a Muslim country. However, the anger didn't just stay with this situation.
I became angry at responses. People dismissing this man's sin and hatred as "just another case of mental illness." People even blamed Obama for this man's sin. I'm sorry, but I don't believe the President of the United States of America would encourage violence towards others. In fact, he made it a point to say that he's had to address a mass murder of some sort 14 times during his two terms. Think about that, then tell me that it's his fault. I was mad at Fox News for telling us that we shouldn't consider this a race crime because it might make some people upset. I was mad at some of my Facebook friends for their undying allegiance to any opinion that was similar.
I then became proud. I was proud because I watched on Thursday morning/afternoon a mass of Charlestonians singing "On Christ the Solid Rock I Stand." It made me so proud that I bawled. I bawled like a baby. I have no problem admitting that to you. It was a mix of pride in my city, love for my Lord, and sadness in my heart. I was proud of the Facebook friends that posted constantly about prayer, love, forgiveness, mercy, grace, and pride. It made my heart glad that there were people who felt like I felt.
I then became confused again. During those news reports that I watched vigilantly, a state politician made this eye-opening statement: "If we can't be black in church, where can we be black in America?" It was a good question. Church is supposed to be kind of a safe haven. That place where you can share your love for God, your struggles with life, and your support for your Christian brothers and sisters. It disappeared for those fleeting moments. I saw in my mind and in my heart black folks being terrified, nervous, or confused about church and the banner of love Christ puts over us. I could totally understand that. However, I was still confused as to how a place like that wasn't that place.
I then felt relief. When I heard the news that the shooter was captured, it calmed my spirit down. It's okay to be nervous. It's a natural emotion. Thank God for Debbie Dills and her quick thinking. She says she's not a hero, but she is certainly someone we can take an example from. Do the right thing, no matter what. God knows the right thing, He'll tell you if you let Him. She did, and he's in jail.
I then was angry again. I was angry because I saw an image that frightened me, but didn't overwhelmingly surprise me. I saw the Confederate flag flying high while the American flag and State flag of South Carolina was at half mast. It made my blood boil that the one thing that most black people consider to be the most offensive, divisive, evil symbol in America was flying high and proud as their people were in complete mourning over the atrocity that happened. You would think that the General Assembly (state law prohibits Governor Haley from any say in when and if the flag comes down, so she gets a slight pass even though she should use some executive powers, throw up deuces to the racists, and tear down that flag) would have some class about them. That flag flying high tells every black person that even when the worst happens to you, your feelings don't matter. They may not have said it, but it's a sentiment. That angers me. What angered me more was that there were people defending that flag. They say that it's a defense of a way of life. That way of life included going to a foreign country; either brokering a deal or flat out kidnapping people; dragging them on a boat and shipping them thousands of miles away from their home; parading them like farm animals at the county fair; selling them; and forcing them to do backbreaking work all because you'd rather sit on your front porch and drink lemonade. That's the right that the states flew that flag for. I'm sorry, but that's evil. Dragging people around, beating them, forcing them to work, bathe you, or have sex with you is fricking wrong. That flag tells black people that they are less than a person. The Confederate flag that was put on the state house in 1962 was a blatant middle finger to desegregation and the Civil Rights movement, case closed. My anger is geared towards anyone who defends dividing the country. And telling me to get over it, it wasn't you so don't worry about it, stop being offended, or anything like that is a one way ticket to me considering you dumber than mayonnaise. That's one of those opinions I'm asking you to let me have.
However my anger multiplied even more when I see Judge Idiot Face (stole that from WWE World Heavyweight Champion Seth Rollins) demanding the victims' families to feel bad for the alleged shooter's family instead for themselves for just losing someone. I'm going to hope that this judge doesn't ever preside over a case again. He used the n-word during a bond hearing. I'm pretty sure he's one of those dumber than mayonnaise morons. How can someone say those kinds of things at that time. And it wasn't like he softly professed that this family was sad, I'm sure they were, but to demand that people just coddle the shooter's family is ridiculous.
However, now I'm at peace. I'm at peace because my God is strong. My God showed Himself in my hometown. My God is being magnified and glorified in the darkest time. I've had terrible feelings about Columbine, Virginia Tech, Sandy Hook, Jonesboro, and many other places. However, seeing the streets I've walked, rode past, or driven past affected by a tragedy is a special kind of hurt. However, I know my God is bigger than anything. I cannot hide my bias, Charleston just wrote the book on "How to Come Back from Adversity Before Sharpton Shows Up."
I said it before, I'll say it again. He shouldn't have messed with buckle of the Bible belt. Wrong church, wrong city.
Saturday, December 6, 2014
Try to Understand
By now, you're all aware of the grand jury decisions in Ferguson, Missouri and Staten Island, New York regarding police officers and deaths of black men. Before I get into a diatribe, I'm going to state that police officers are a valuable commodity. I have family that was in law enforcement. My AWANA JVs leader was a police officer and had a significant impact in my salvation and spiritual growth. I have friends that are police officers that are godly people who love the communities in which they live and serve. When I had my house fire in March, police were highly comforting to me. They cared about my well being and what happened with me after the fire. All in all, police officers are wonderful pillars of the community.
However, some things have happened lately that frighten me to no end. The first thing that has happened is an 18 year old young man was shot and killed. No 18 year old should be shot, no matter the circumstances. The next thing that happened was that the same young man that was shot was left in the middle of the street way longer than necessary. The next thing that frightened me was that everyone took to two extremes in the situation. They either dismissed the people who lost a brother, a son, a friend, or a cousin; or they dismissed the feelings of the officer that tragically shot the young man that day. Darrin Wilson empathizers were dismissing the feelings of black people, calling them over reactors and race baitors. Michael Brown empathizers were dismissing the wonderful work that police officers do because of one fatal shot. It's not right on either account. When the grand jury failed to indict Officer Wilson, everything broke loose. It's not fair to either side of the debate. Whether or not the evidence was there or not, there is no excuse for destroying innocent bystanders' property. That breaks my heart almost as much as the loss of life.
It's gets worse. Back in the summer, a video surfaced of a man being confronted by police and then taken down in a choke hold. Now, the man was breaking the law. The police were in their right to confront him about it. However, the choke hold wasn't just barbaric. It was illegal. The choke hold has been banned for years, and this officer used said maneuver to take down the man. Sounds pretty much like a slam dunk, right? At the very least, this will be taken to trial and the officer will get a chance to truly defend his actions. This was even on video. Nothing happened. I'm outraged that something so simple was missed.
If a police officer kills someone in the line of duty to save their own life or the lives of others, that's fine by me. I understand that. However, when there isn't accountability for the taking of the life, or at the very least, a legit explanation of actions, it bothers people.
The trend #BlackLivesMatter is popular because black people aren't seen as human or worthy of survival, based on the last two high profile grand jury decisions involving black men. When a football player goes to prison for a year and a half for basically shooting himself in the leg while a police officer gets set free for choking a man to death, it makes that hashtag all the more poignant. When people get more outraged over dogs being hurt by a football player than black employees being hurt by a southern chef who has a TV show and a propensity for butter, can't help but ask why us. We have a black President of the United States who has been disrespected by Senators, radio hosts, and the like since he decided to run for president. And yes, I'm aware that it happened to the president before that, but it also happened to the president before that, the president before that, and the president before that. My argument is that it seems to be way more prevalent nowadays as opposed to before. Yelling in the middle of the State of the Union address, making it well known that your plan is to make the president a one term president, or literally telling your radio audience that you wish the man would fail at the expense of your country's success are all examples that a lot of people just don't want black people to be successful or blessed.
However, I do have to take my people to ask as well. It's unfair to destroy small businesses in search of justice. It's unfair to disrupt life for our own gains. All it does it hurt our chances of finally being seen as equals. The last thing we need in this firing range we call America is to give those who dismiss us ammunition. I'm calling to task all those protesters to make absolute sure you're not hindering the cause. If you're doing a simple walk, march, or stand-in, by all means, have at it. Wake up those who don't understand. If you're looting, rioting, flipping cars, and just being a nuisance, please realize what harm you're doing.
Overall, I ask that both parties show respect. To the police empathizers, understand that black people have been through at lot and I think there is a bit of last straw syndrome. To Brown and Garner empathizers, I ask that you remember that being a police officer is ridiculously difficult. You have to make split decisions. You're away from your family for extended periods of time. You're putting your life on the line with the potential to leave your family with little to no warning. Stress and pressure can play a major role, and if they're not properly dealt with, can lead to some disastrous results.
Our best bet for these kinds of things is prayer. Pray for those who protect and serve. Thank those who have been given the unenviable task of keeping the peace. Pray for those who feel hurt or slighted by a "civilized" society. Try to understand how they feel. Don't give them the "suck it up, buttercup" speech every time black people share their frustrations. It's time to start understanding people. It's time to stop picking a side for the sake of picking a side, or worse, gravitating to one side because we're expected to join said side. Just treat each other with respect. Our futures are on the line and sooner or later, the final straw is going to be reached and all you know what is going to run loose.
However, some things have happened lately that frighten me to no end. The first thing that has happened is an 18 year old young man was shot and killed. No 18 year old should be shot, no matter the circumstances. The next thing that happened was that the same young man that was shot was left in the middle of the street way longer than necessary. The next thing that frightened me was that everyone took to two extremes in the situation. They either dismissed the people who lost a brother, a son, a friend, or a cousin; or they dismissed the feelings of the officer that tragically shot the young man that day. Darrin Wilson empathizers were dismissing the feelings of black people, calling them over reactors and race baitors. Michael Brown empathizers were dismissing the wonderful work that police officers do because of one fatal shot. It's not right on either account. When the grand jury failed to indict Officer Wilson, everything broke loose. It's not fair to either side of the debate. Whether or not the evidence was there or not, there is no excuse for destroying innocent bystanders' property. That breaks my heart almost as much as the loss of life.
It's gets worse. Back in the summer, a video surfaced of a man being confronted by police and then taken down in a choke hold. Now, the man was breaking the law. The police were in their right to confront him about it. However, the choke hold wasn't just barbaric. It was illegal. The choke hold has been banned for years, and this officer used said maneuver to take down the man. Sounds pretty much like a slam dunk, right? At the very least, this will be taken to trial and the officer will get a chance to truly defend his actions. This was even on video. Nothing happened. I'm outraged that something so simple was missed.
If a police officer kills someone in the line of duty to save their own life or the lives of others, that's fine by me. I understand that. However, when there isn't accountability for the taking of the life, or at the very least, a legit explanation of actions, it bothers people.
The trend #BlackLivesMatter is popular because black people aren't seen as human or worthy of survival, based on the last two high profile grand jury decisions involving black men. When a football player goes to prison for a year and a half for basically shooting himself in the leg while a police officer gets set free for choking a man to death, it makes that hashtag all the more poignant. When people get more outraged over dogs being hurt by a football player than black employees being hurt by a southern chef who has a TV show and a propensity for butter, can't help but ask why us. We have a black President of the United States who has been disrespected by Senators, radio hosts, and the like since he decided to run for president. And yes, I'm aware that it happened to the president before that, but it also happened to the president before that, the president before that, and the president before that. My argument is that it seems to be way more prevalent nowadays as opposed to before. Yelling in the middle of the State of the Union address, making it well known that your plan is to make the president a one term president, or literally telling your radio audience that you wish the man would fail at the expense of your country's success are all examples that a lot of people just don't want black people to be successful or blessed.
However, I do have to take my people to ask as well. It's unfair to destroy small businesses in search of justice. It's unfair to disrupt life for our own gains. All it does it hurt our chances of finally being seen as equals. The last thing we need in this firing range we call America is to give those who dismiss us ammunition. I'm calling to task all those protesters to make absolute sure you're not hindering the cause. If you're doing a simple walk, march, or stand-in, by all means, have at it. Wake up those who don't understand. If you're looting, rioting, flipping cars, and just being a nuisance, please realize what harm you're doing.
Overall, I ask that both parties show respect. To the police empathizers, understand that black people have been through at lot and I think there is a bit of last straw syndrome. To Brown and Garner empathizers, I ask that you remember that being a police officer is ridiculously difficult. You have to make split decisions. You're away from your family for extended periods of time. You're putting your life on the line with the potential to leave your family with little to no warning. Stress and pressure can play a major role, and if they're not properly dealt with, can lead to some disastrous results.
Our best bet for these kinds of things is prayer. Pray for those who protect and serve. Thank those who have been given the unenviable task of keeping the peace. Pray for those who feel hurt or slighted by a "civilized" society. Try to understand how they feel. Don't give them the "suck it up, buttercup" speech every time black people share their frustrations. It's time to start understanding people. It's time to stop picking a side for the sake of picking a side, or worse, gravitating to one side because we're expected to join said side. Just treat each other with respect. Our futures are on the line and sooner or later, the final straw is going to be reached and all you know what is going to run loose.
Monday, September 8, 2014
The Fella
I'm sorry I haven't given you much recently. Life has been a roller coaster for me lately. Highs such as going on a mission trip to Cleveland, Ohio a week after LeBron returned; seeing one of my good friends accomplish something he's worked hard for for years; and getting a decent raise. Lows such as being turned down for a ton of jobs I'd interviewed for; having a friend have some troubles; and my Packers getting stomped.
This past Friday was both a high and a low. You may or may not have been aware of a ton posts, tweets, and random musings about "The Fella." For those who may be unfamiliar, I worked part time for a company that provided support to folks with intellectual and/or physical disabilities. For two and a half years, my assignment was The Fella. This past Friday was my last day with him. He has started the next step in his life. He has moved out of his home and into a group home. This is the best thing for him. He needs to be free of his mother's home and try to do things on his own. I'm sure he'll succeed as long as the group home he's in cares for his success.
Over the course of my time with The Fella, I've learned a lot about myself. I've learned that life sometimes isn't about all boring things like bills, work, and serious things. Sometimes, a dude just needs a bag of chips and a soda. You have to learn to enjoy simple things in life like throwing rocks in a river. I mean we would literally spend hours sitting at a river chucking big rocks and skipping little rocks until one of us got thirsty. We'd play countless games of HORSE at a basketball court. Sometimes, it was just sitting down and watch Scooby Doo and Three Stooges when it got rainy outside. Just enjoying those simple things taught me that I don't need to take myself so seriously.
I also learned that even those little things are important to people. I can't count how many times I've had to deal with The Fella's temper when I beat him at UNO. When he'd stomp away after he got the final "E" in HORSE after trying to make that show two turns ago, it's just his way of expressing his frustration with both himself and the situation. I had a Youth Ministry professor at Liberty put it in perfect terms: "You can call it puppy love, but it's still real to the puppy." A stupid little game of UNO or basketball may not mean much to you, but to The Fella, it was everything. Sometimes in life, you have accept that people's loves are not your loves, and you shouldn't judge them for it.
Friday was our last evening together. It started when I took him to his favorite place to eat, Rancho Viejo. He saw his favorite waitress after she had her baby, so that made him happy. He ate what he always eats, cheese dip with hot sauce in it. He also stared at my black beans thinking they were raisins. We walked his dog, watched Three Stooges, and talked about his new life. When it was time for me to leave, he began to cry. That brought me to a few tears as well. I do get to hang out with him. I promised I'd take him places every so often and just have friend time. I probably won't see him for a couple of weeks just so he can get used to not having me around all the time.
Sometimes, I ask myself if I'm doing the right thing working two jobs. Outside of the financial gain, is it worth it? Well, after working with the Fella for as long as I have, I can say it is definitely worth it. His friendship has been invaluable. So, here's to you Fella. You've been great. You will succeed far better than your imagination. Just remember what you've learned about keeping your emotions in check and remembering that you don't hurt those you love. You're going to do great. Thank you for teaching me many life lessons.
This past Friday was both a high and a low. You may or may not have been aware of a ton posts, tweets, and random musings about "The Fella." For those who may be unfamiliar, I worked part time for a company that provided support to folks with intellectual and/or physical disabilities. For two and a half years, my assignment was The Fella. This past Friday was my last day with him. He has started the next step in his life. He has moved out of his home and into a group home. This is the best thing for him. He needs to be free of his mother's home and try to do things on his own. I'm sure he'll succeed as long as the group home he's in cares for his success.
Over the course of my time with The Fella, I've learned a lot about myself. I've learned that life sometimes isn't about all boring things like bills, work, and serious things. Sometimes, a dude just needs a bag of chips and a soda. You have to learn to enjoy simple things in life like throwing rocks in a river. I mean we would literally spend hours sitting at a river chucking big rocks and skipping little rocks until one of us got thirsty. We'd play countless games of HORSE at a basketball court. Sometimes, it was just sitting down and watch Scooby Doo and Three Stooges when it got rainy outside. Just enjoying those simple things taught me that I don't need to take myself so seriously.
I also learned that even those little things are important to people. I can't count how many times I've had to deal with The Fella's temper when I beat him at UNO. When he'd stomp away after he got the final "E" in HORSE after trying to make that show two turns ago, it's just his way of expressing his frustration with both himself and the situation. I had a Youth Ministry professor at Liberty put it in perfect terms: "You can call it puppy love, but it's still real to the puppy." A stupid little game of UNO or basketball may not mean much to you, but to The Fella, it was everything. Sometimes in life, you have accept that people's loves are not your loves, and you shouldn't judge them for it.
Friday was our last evening together. It started when I took him to his favorite place to eat, Rancho Viejo. He saw his favorite waitress after she had her baby, so that made him happy. He ate what he always eats, cheese dip with hot sauce in it. He also stared at my black beans thinking they were raisins. We walked his dog, watched Three Stooges, and talked about his new life. When it was time for me to leave, he began to cry. That brought me to a few tears as well. I do get to hang out with him. I promised I'd take him places every so often and just have friend time. I probably won't see him for a couple of weeks just so he can get used to not having me around all the time.
Sometimes, I ask myself if I'm doing the right thing working two jobs. Outside of the financial gain, is it worth it? Well, after working with the Fella for as long as I have, I can say it is definitely worth it. His friendship has been invaluable. So, here's to you Fella. You've been great. You will succeed far better than your imagination. Just remember what you've learned about keeping your emotions in check and remembering that you don't hurt those you love. You're going to do great. Thank you for teaching me many life lessons.
Friday, July 4, 2014
America and Stuff
So it's been a while since I did one of these and figured today would be a good day to just vent. A lot of things are on my mind. I guess it's time to share them. I'll probably upset the masses, but what else is new?
It's America's birthday. It's a day where we celebrate the freedoms we were given by the sacrifices of those before us. Although I really can't claim much of the history because more of the people of my ilk were kind of forced over here. We helped in the effort, but I don't think we were as dedicated to the cause. Nevertheless, I'm thankful that I live in a country where I can spout my opinion and love my Lord with little to no repercussions. I may get a concussion from an angry reader, but I'll chance it.
Speaking of America, what the heck is happening? There are so many issues that are just so pressing and crazy. Take for instance the case of the man who supposedly forgot his toddler was in his car for hours and died from heat exhaustion. There is no excuse. What makes it even worse was that the father was researching overheated car deaths weeks before this happened. What's even worse than that is his wife was researching as well. The young child had 2 insurance policies on him. It's frightening that there are children who have parents like this. However, we shouldn't be surprised. We live in a terribly selfish country.
Speaking of, that goes to my next rant. This whole Hobby Lobby thing. Basically, the Supreme Court says that Hobby Lobby has a right to not pay for every contraceptive. I don't understand why this is a big deal. Hobby Lobby didn't want to cover four abortifacient drugs. The "War on Women" pundits always talk about the government needing to stay out of the womb. Now that Hobby Lobby was given the right to refuse to pay for abortifacient drugs, these same pundits are now begging the government to intervene in their wombs. Most of the employees of Hobby Lobby aren't complaining. If this particular decision is truly that devastating, they'll leave. However, it seems that outside sources like to spend other people's money, so they'll just tell the employees to strike and fight back, you know how this goes. Oh, the money Hobby Lobby saves by not paying for those drugs can go towards the minimum of $14/hour they pay their full time employees and $9.50/hour for part time employees. Yeah, they're real jerks, aren't they?
I'm about to watch this hot dog eating contest. This cracks me up every year. A bunch of people eating ignorant amounts of pig parts and bread for 10 minutes. The world record is 69 in ten minutes. The dude said he could do 73 if it's a perfect day. Perfect day? His day will be littered with bathroom trips and Pepto Bismol. There's nothing perfect about that.
I'm pretty excited about an opportunity I have in a couple of weeks. I get to go to Cleveland, OH and do mission work. I'm not particularly sure what I'm doing, but I'm going there with an open mind and heart. I'm not going there with any expectations. I learned if you expect anything out of a mission trip, you'll be disappointed. If you go with nothing in mind, you'll be blessed. You can't force the Holy Spirit and God's will. You can only sit back and let them work. This will actually be my third trip to Cleveland. If any Ohio peeps are in the area, find me.
Apparently I missed the BET Awards. Black Evil Television isn't really my forte. Today's music is terrible. It's garbage with no end in sight. The shameful part is that there are people who think this is the best stuff ever. Terrifying that the people who think this will one day put me in a home when I'm too old to fight back.
God bless you all on this holiday. Remember to protect your dogs from the morons with firecrackers. Protect yourselves from the morons who don't know when enough booze is enough.
It's America's birthday. It's a day where we celebrate the freedoms we were given by the sacrifices of those before us. Although I really can't claim much of the history because more of the people of my ilk were kind of forced over here. We helped in the effort, but I don't think we were as dedicated to the cause. Nevertheless, I'm thankful that I live in a country where I can spout my opinion and love my Lord with little to no repercussions. I may get a concussion from an angry reader, but I'll chance it.
Speaking of America, what the heck is happening? There are so many issues that are just so pressing and crazy. Take for instance the case of the man who supposedly forgot his toddler was in his car for hours and died from heat exhaustion. There is no excuse. What makes it even worse was that the father was researching overheated car deaths weeks before this happened. What's even worse than that is his wife was researching as well. The young child had 2 insurance policies on him. It's frightening that there are children who have parents like this. However, we shouldn't be surprised. We live in a terribly selfish country.
Speaking of, that goes to my next rant. This whole Hobby Lobby thing. Basically, the Supreme Court says that Hobby Lobby has a right to not pay for every contraceptive. I don't understand why this is a big deal. Hobby Lobby didn't want to cover four abortifacient drugs. The "War on Women" pundits always talk about the government needing to stay out of the womb. Now that Hobby Lobby was given the right to refuse to pay for abortifacient drugs, these same pundits are now begging the government to intervene in their wombs. Most of the employees of Hobby Lobby aren't complaining. If this particular decision is truly that devastating, they'll leave. However, it seems that outside sources like to spend other people's money, so they'll just tell the employees to strike and fight back, you know how this goes. Oh, the money Hobby Lobby saves by not paying for those drugs can go towards the minimum of $14/hour they pay their full time employees and $9.50/hour for part time employees. Yeah, they're real jerks, aren't they?
I'm about to watch this hot dog eating contest. This cracks me up every year. A bunch of people eating ignorant amounts of pig parts and bread for 10 minutes. The world record is 69 in ten minutes. The dude said he could do 73 if it's a perfect day. Perfect day? His day will be littered with bathroom trips and Pepto Bismol. There's nothing perfect about that.
I'm pretty excited about an opportunity I have in a couple of weeks. I get to go to Cleveland, OH and do mission work. I'm not particularly sure what I'm doing, but I'm going there with an open mind and heart. I'm not going there with any expectations. I learned if you expect anything out of a mission trip, you'll be disappointed. If you go with nothing in mind, you'll be blessed. You can't force the Holy Spirit and God's will. You can only sit back and let them work. This will actually be my third trip to Cleveland. If any Ohio peeps are in the area, find me.
Apparently I missed the BET Awards. Black Evil Television isn't really my forte. Today's music is terrible. It's garbage with no end in sight. The shameful part is that there are people who think this is the best stuff ever. Terrifying that the people who think this will one day put me in a home when I'm too old to fight back.
God bless you all on this holiday. Remember to protect your dogs from the morons with firecrackers. Protect yourselves from the morons who don't know when enough booze is enough.
Sunday, March 23, 2014
When Things Go Boom
You know, sometimes in life, things just go completely wrong. I was absolutely stunned today by some crazy events. It started with me heating some oil so that I can fry some chicken. I was using a different oil than I usually use per a Rocco Dispirito recipe. I like Rocco, he's a good cook. Well, I've heard that anyway. Well, I'm in the kitchen bouncing from place to place when all of a sudden, I hear a huge pop and my pot's in flames on the stove. I tried to reach for the baking soda but the flames were already too high and couldn't get to it without burning my arm. I called 911 immediately, trying to get help. My upstairs neighbor was already knocking on people's doors, getting everyone out. Thank God that the Roanoke Fire Department Engine 1 got there within minutes of me calling them. To say I was frightened would be the understatement of the century. This was probably the first time I showed fear in a situation since my childhood.
I thank God that no one was hurt. I thank God that the damage was cosmetic. I'd take a picture, but honestly, I'm not up for reliving that right now. I thank God that I can sleep in my own bed tonight because it's not nearly as rough as the fireman thought it would be. I thank God that I still have a microwave, a toaster, a George Foreman grill, and my Keurig machine, so no hunger here.
I often wonder why bad things happen. However, I was quickly reminded of my pastor's words over the last month. When you're doing things right for God, the Devil is at his most sinister. I don't think he said it like that, but it fits. I serve in a lot of capacities at my church. We just had a great meeting about Easter Sunday and all the wonderful things we want to do for the community. I, involuntarily, became the point of contact for the children's activities portion of the meeting. I'm okay with it, but I've never been the administrative type. Just tell me what to do, I'll do it. So this is really outside of comfort zone. We came up with some awesome ideas, and today was going to be the day I did some research on prices of things, but this fire happened. I guess I was a little distracted. This fire, as crazy as this sounds, was exactly what I needed to know that I'm doing things the right way. Even when I've disappointed God, and I have, trust me, I still get the opportunity to serve Him. When I serve Him, the Devil fights back. He tries to keep me from doing things the right way and doing what I ought to be doing.
Some of you reading this may not believe that a good God would allow this to happen in the first place, and that's okay. Believe what you want, but I know my God. I know that God has a plan. I comforted my neighbor who was scared to death. My landlord was more than gracious to me. My other neighbor, who actually called me a sweetheart yesterday while I was walking with my laundry basket, was calmed down and had no damages. I know that God will use this in a remarkable way.
A good bit of you friends have been nothing but supportive of me, and I thank you so much. Your prayers kept my place in tact and still livable. The firemen did an outstanding job of keeping abreast of the situation and keeping my place in tact. Again, thank you to the Firemen of Engine 1 in Roanoke for their quick response and calming words.
I think some cookies are in their future, when I get my stove...
I thank God that no one was hurt. I thank God that the damage was cosmetic. I'd take a picture, but honestly, I'm not up for reliving that right now. I thank God that I can sleep in my own bed tonight because it's not nearly as rough as the fireman thought it would be. I thank God that I still have a microwave, a toaster, a George Foreman grill, and my Keurig machine, so no hunger here.
I often wonder why bad things happen. However, I was quickly reminded of my pastor's words over the last month. When you're doing things right for God, the Devil is at his most sinister. I don't think he said it like that, but it fits. I serve in a lot of capacities at my church. We just had a great meeting about Easter Sunday and all the wonderful things we want to do for the community. I, involuntarily, became the point of contact for the children's activities portion of the meeting. I'm okay with it, but I've never been the administrative type. Just tell me what to do, I'll do it. So this is really outside of comfort zone. We came up with some awesome ideas, and today was going to be the day I did some research on prices of things, but this fire happened. I guess I was a little distracted. This fire, as crazy as this sounds, was exactly what I needed to know that I'm doing things the right way. Even when I've disappointed God, and I have, trust me, I still get the opportunity to serve Him. When I serve Him, the Devil fights back. He tries to keep me from doing things the right way and doing what I ought to be doing.
Some of you reading this may not believe that a good God would allow this to happen in the first place, and that's okay. Believe what you want, but I know my God. I know that God has a plan. I comforted my neighbor who was scared to death. My landlord was more than gracious to me. My other neighbor, who actually called me a sweetheart yesterday while I was walking with my laundry basket, was calmed down and had no damages. I know that God will use this in a remarkable way.
A good bit of you friends have been nothing but supportive of me, and I thank you so much. Your prayers kept my place in tact and still livable. The firemen did an outstanding job of keeping abreast of the situation and keeping my place in tact. Again, thank you to the Firemen of Engine 1 in Roanoke for their quick response and calming words.
I think some cookies are in their future, when I get my stove...
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