Open Letter

I could make this a Saturday tradition, depending on how this goes.  Let me know if you would like that.

Dear Golf Game,

Look, I understand that we haven't been too close for the first 20+ years of my life.  I'm sorry for that.  I kind of mocked you for a while.  However, I took you up and realized that you're kind of therapeutic.  I get that I've used you for my own personal gain.  The gain being having time along outside.  I understand that at times, I can get a little angry with you.  However, the least you can do is cooperate with me when I try to make myself better for you.  I hit the driving range.  I go to beginner courses so that I don't disrespect your wonderful tradition of not stinking.  I just want you to be my friend and allow me to be better than I am now.  When I get the nerve to play with other people, I'm going to need you to be good to me.  I don't want you embarrassing me in front of the golfer people.  And by golfer people, I mean white folk.  Yeah, I know I'm being stereotypical, but it all comes down to that.  Some of them don't want people like me to be good at you.  You see how they did Tiger Woods.  So, please be good to me.  Have the decency to get me into the good graces of the golfer people.  Also, please have the kindness to allow me to finish a hole in one putt or less.  I'm tired of using Bubba Watson's name in vain when I fail to sink a 4 footer.

Regards,

Tyrone J Dudley

P.S. If I do become really good at this game, can I have a couple of Tiger Woods's old girlfriends?