No Offense...

I kind of laugh when I hear that phrase.  People say that to kind of soften the blow of their words when they know for certain it's not a good thing to say.  Seems like words are getting more and more offensive.  You can hardly say anything without a watchdog group or a special interest group sending protesters to your front door.  Every other phrase causes a boycott, petition, or rally to pop up.  It's really starting to get annoying.  However there are a few words that don't need to be said, ever.  There is no excuse for it.  There is no reason for it.  There is no justification for it.

Lately, it's been about Paula Deen and her words.  Apparently, Paula Deen recounted in a court case how she's used the N-word in the past.  As a result of her admission, she was vilified by the public and fired by Food Network.  This has caused an outpouring of support by Paula Deen supporters as well as applause by those who felt her words were unforgivable.

I'm pretty glad that Food Network did what they did.  I'm glad they took a stand against this kind of behavior.  I'll go into more detail on why I'm glad they did it, but it's not because of her use of the N-word.  I'm going to say this about the N-word.  It's a terrible, awful, horrendous, and evil word.  It tears people down.  It rips people apart.  It's a word that causes strife and brings to mind the terrible atrocities done to Black people since they were brought to America as slaves.  I know I wasn't there for slavery, the Civil Rights Movement, or segregation; however the remnants from those times before are very well prevalent.  I'm bothered that Ms. Deen used those words, however I'm even more bothered that people in general use that word.  Rap artists, kids on the streets, racists, and bigots all use that word as loosely as my jeans are since I did Insanity.

The use of that word is terrible.  I can pretty much guarantee you that if Ms. Deen used that word once, she's used it 1000 times.  How would I know?  I grew up in the South.  Anyone who can use that word once, can use it over and over again.  And not just Paula, but the rest of the people I listed have probably used that word easily.  So yeah, I'm going to go ahead and call it like I see it.  If Deen used that word like that, I'll venture to say that at the very least, she feels black people are slightly inferior to her.  I couldn't care less what the circumstances are.  I work with a young man with Autism.  He has done some things to me that hurt, a lot.  It sucked.  However, if I were to call him the R-word because he's hurt me, I'm no better than Ms. Deen.  Being hurt by someone is no justification for using any totally offensive words.

Now to why I think Ms. Deen was rightfully fired.  It really has more to do with her attitude about Black people.  The reason I believe her firing was justifiable was because of her plans for a family member's wedding.  She felt it would be a good idea to hire a bunch of African American wait staff and dress them as 19th Century slaves.  Please give me one way that that is a good idea.  For someone to have that kind of flippant attitude about a whole group of people is shameful.  That's why I'm glad Paula Deen was fired.  She doesn't think everyone is on equal ground.  She believes her group of people are better.  That's my issue.  Her treatment of an African American general manager at her restaurant is the reason her firing was good in my book.

I do think that Paula's actions are just a small problem.  There is a terrible epidemic of people thinking other people are beneath them.  There is a terrible problem of Black people treating other Black people wrongly.  The use of the N-word probably being the most evil of all.  How in the world can we expect other people to treat us with respect if we can't do it ourselves?  You know how we avoid saying bad words around our kids because we don't want them to repeat them?  Well, I think Black people should do the same.  Avoid using things that upset us so that other people don't do the same.

Paula Deen didn't make a mistake.  She chose to use that word.  Let's stop calling it a mistake.  Let's call it what it is, sin.  It's a sin to say horrible things about other people.  It's a sin to consider people lower on the totem pole than you.  It's a sin to consider people less than you.  Paula Deen's problem isn't a use of a word "once."  Paula Deen's problem is her believe that she is superior simply because she isn't Black.  Like I said, if she's said it once, she's said it too many times.  And from past experience, that once isn't all.

What If...

So obviously it's Fathers' Day.  If your Facebook friends' random pictures of their dad didn't tell you, I'm sure some suit store commercial did.  Fathers' Day has a completely different meaning to me.  You see, I was only blessed to have my father in my life for six years.  I won't go through all the details, but he passed away tragically.  I had a stepfather who wasn't quite sure how to be a father, or any kind of man for that matter.  I have a stepfather now who I know loves my family very much.  I don't get too choked up or concerned about Fathers' Day because of all those factors.

I always wonder, "what if my father were still alive today?"  It's quite the haunting thought.  I think about if I would be in the position I would be in right now.  I wonder if I would have the life I have.  Would my family have moved to South Carolina if Dad were still alive?  Would I have been as active in church?  Would I have even gone to church?  It's a really deep line of thinking.  It's almost like soul searching, really.

I think it's better not to think in those terms.  In the end, God has me exactly where I need to be.  Everything that has happened in my life is exactly the way my life was supposed to go.  We always talk ask, "why do bad things happen to good people?"  The truth is there really is no such thing as good people, just people doing good things.  We're all kinds of messed up sometimes.  I think things happen to us to teach us lessons. Sometimes, those lessons are hard.  Sometimes, those lessons come days, weeks, months, even years afterwards.

I think that happened to me.  My father's death when I was six was very confusing.  However I truly believe that God had a plan.  It took pretty much my college career to truly realize that plan.  I know some of you are rolling your eyes at the idea that God had a plan through all this, but it's the truth.  When I saw God leading me to teach youth, I saw the light.  When the Good Lord led me to be in special education, I really got the idea.

My father's death was truly saddening.  It was maddening as well.  It was just a bad time.  However now that I know that it was the catalyst to how my is life now, I'm not as bothered by it.  I also know that my father is in Heaven, watching down and cheering me on.  It has taught me about faith, strength, and patience. Patience especially.  Patience for God's plan.  Patience with other people.  Patience with life in general.

I want to wish all those fathers out there.  Not babydaddys, that's a stupid and disrespectful term.  I'm talking true fathers.  Those who dedicate their lives to their kids.  Those who do everything to make their kids better, including treating their mothers with respect.  I want to say Happy Fathers' Day to you.  Be blessed.

Here we go again...

So apparently this commercial has caused a lot of issues.  There is a healthy amount of people, and by healthy I mean an amount larger than 1000, that believe that this commercial is awful simply because the family is interracial  Considering that scientifically speaking there is only one race, it's more like the family has differing amounts of melanin in their systems.  However for the sake of this blog and the controversy, we'll just go with different races.

Anyway, I wonder why people have such a problem with interracial relationships and families.  What is the big deal with someone dating someone that isn't a match?  In particular, why do people avoid the interracial relationship for themselves?  I've kind of narrowed it down to five reasons.  The first four can be fixed with a little open mindedness and introspection.  The fifth, well there's really no hope, but you'll figure that out when you read it.  Anyway, here we go.  And if you're one of those that had a problem with said commercial, maybe you should figure out your hang ups and try to fix them.

1.  No Opportunity
Sometimes you just don't get the opportunity.  You have nothing against it, you just haven't met anyone in that category.  And that's cool.  Some people live in neighborhoods where it's not possible to do so.  Sometimes, you meet that childhood sweetheart and don't even bother to play the field.  Nothing wrong with that.  Maybe the opportunity will come for you and you'll see that they're not all that bad.

2. Not Your Preference
You don't have anything against it, but you like your future husband or wife to have certain traits that quite frankly aren't possible with other races.  I mean I guess it's possible, but you'd need surgery, hair dye, contacts, and drugs to accomplish it, see Michael Jackson.  You don't have anything against it for anyone else, but you don't find that particular side of the melanin scale.  If you're wondering, Asian women aren't really my thing.  However if I find that particular future wife and she happens to be Asian, I'm not going to complain.  God has a sense of humor, I'm used to it.

3.  Family Issues
You may not have an issue with it, but you're deathly afraid of being disowned by your family.  I totally understand.  Family is important.  They shaped and molded you into who you are today.  However, there has to come a point where you make a decision.  You have to decide if your happiness is less or more important than your family.  And trust me on this, if your family has issues with who God may have for you, God will set you up anyway.  I've been in that situation where the family wasn't a fan.  Once I realized that that person was more interested in keeping their family happy than keeping themselves happy, I eliminated that person.  At some point, you became a grown up.  Time to make grown up decisions without fear of consequence.

4. Biblical Reasons
Now it gets dicey.  There are verses and passages that tell the Jewish people to avoid other nations and races.  However, we have to remember that the Jewish people back then were quite gullible to other religions and forgetting God's grace and word.  This doesn't apply to us Gentiles, or anyone really.  God really doesn't have an issue with two Christians being together, even they're different colors.  So once you realize that it's not a sin and it's okay, you're good again.

5. Inferiority
This is the reason that I believe is hardest to get over.  Once you believe that any race is inferior, you're pretty much not going to change.  You have to really think about your thoughts on other people going forward.  When you see a commercial with an interracial family, you first ask "what's that doing with that?"  That's not a good look.  Point being, thinking anyone is inferior is terrible.  You need to work on that.  You're not that perfect, so stop thinking that.

I've thought about this thing for a while.  I used to just think that people who were against it were just racist, bigoted, ignorant folks.  However, I've had to adjust my thinking.  There are reasons things like that happen, and it's not just people being against me or others.  I've had to humble myself to the fact that people have extenuating circumstances.

It's time we as Americans realize that people that aren't like you and me exist.  We also have to realize that people that don't look like you or me date each other.  We also have to realize that sometimes, they have kids together.  They also get married.  They live long, happy, healthy lives.  And their kids are great looking, for what it's worth.  It's time we stop fussing and complaining and start accepting.  Like I said, nothing illegal is happening, so whatever.

I'm open to discussion, friendly banter, and what not.  If you feel like giving me your side, feel free.  I enjoy it.  I embrace it.

Summer Time

Another school year has come and gone.  This past Wednesday was the last day of school for the county I work in.  I have to say it was an interesting year.  There was a lot change just during the year.  I saw kids develop and grow into tougher kids.  I've seen kids develop their skills well beyond any expectation that some doubters had.  It was a pretty amazing year.

I made some pretty amazing friends.  I already have some great friends, but I made more.  You can never have too many amazing friends.  I looked it up, amazing friends limits just don't exist.  My co-workers were awesome.  I learned a lot from them.  I know that's weird considering I'm kind of an elder statesman, but if you're not learning, you're wasting your life.

I think about where I'm headed both this summer and my future.  I'm in that weird zone of what I would like to do and what I am doing.  I'm kind thinking about doing some classes to just go on and get the full teacher license.  I'm looking at different avenues.  Hopefully does avenues are cheaper and less time consuming.  Although, time consumption can keep me out of trouble.

I have summer time.  I know I'll be working with the fella, but I actually lucked out and got a pretty early shift.  That gives me all afternoons and evening to myself.  Maybe I could pursue that higher education thing.  I also plan on hanging out with my friends more.  I plan on going to Wednesday night church more often.  I plan on playing golf a little more.  I figured out a cheaper way to get lessons.  Just find my way to where the tour pro is teaching and eavesdrop.  Genius, I tell you.  I want to go to baseball games.  I want to get on a kickball team.  Yeah, kickball.  Which reminds me, if you're interested in playing with me, send me a tweet @TheOnlyTyronly or message me on Facebook.

I've been blessed to have some time to see my family.  My nephew is growing like a weed.  And honestly, he's a lot smarter than kids two and three times his age.  He's also very short sighted.  Kid can't stay still long enough to complete a task.  I guess we all were that way at one point.  Shoot, I didn't even talk till I was three.  It was just a lot of fun seeing my family again.  I'll see them again in August, along with my former high school classmates for a 15 year reunion.  That will be fun.

I'm also going on an awesome mission trip.  Last year I went on a mission trip to Sugar Hill, GA and it was tremendous.  This year I'm going to Chattanooga, TN.  Again we'll be helping build and repair homes.  That's what missions is, being helpful to those who need it.  Not just talking to them, but doing things that no one else would do for them.  It's supporting and helping those who can't quite help themselves.

Overall, I'm excited about this summer.  Not sure where it's going to lead me, but I know I will have a good time finding out.

Insanity Mission Accomplished

Well folks, it's official.  I have finished my Insanity journey.  It took days of dedication.  Dedication not just to the exercises, but to healthy eating and living.  That means avoiding fast food, for the most part.  I do believe that it's okay to have it once in a while.  That meant getting proper rest.  That meant avoiding sodas.  I think I had two sodas in the past 2 months.  That helped me a lot.  I also had a lot of support from friends and family.  Many people that just wished me well in my endeavor.  People who have noticed my change.  It's just amazing to know that a lot has gone into this.  The biggest and most important thing is God's grace.  God's grace helped me through this program.  I can't thank God enough for giving me the strength to do it.

I did what's called a Fit Test to start the program.  Every two weeks, you do this Fit Test to track your progress.  You do eight specific exercises.  My progress from opening day until now is nothing short of amazing.  I increased my totals by as much as 400% from opening day until the final test.

My body has changed so much.  I'm about to post some pictures of the change in my body.  I'm not really about that kind of thing, but I feel like I should show the differences.  I started the program weighing 229 pounds.  I now weigh 210 pounds.  I started with almost 16% body fat.  I now have slightly over 10% body fat.  My waist is about 4 inches smaller.  My upper body is super toned.  I have endurance and flexibility that I haven't had since high school.  Maybe even more, to be honest.

I have some great aspirations now that I've finished this program.  I want to do something I have wanted to do for a pretty long time.  When I was in middle school, I thought about maybe attempting to do the Cooper River Bridge Run.  It's a 10K race done in my hometown of Charleston, SC.  I would love to do that now that I've gotten in way better shape.  So, I'm going to throw my name in the hat and do it next year.  I'll probably do a few smaller races too, but that's the one I want to do.  I think with enough training and practice and dedication, I could do some damage.

Opening Week 229 lbs

Week 2 224 lbs

Week 3 220 lbs

Week 4 219 lbs

Week 5 220 lbs (Visited Family for Spring Break)

Week 6 217 lbs

Week 7 215 lbs

Week 8 214 lbs

Week 9 213 lbs

Final Week 210 lbs

As you can see, my progress is pretty good.  My body has transformed into something more athletic.  I'm blessed to be where I am.  This will be the only time you'll ever see me topless outside of a pool or something. I am so happy.  I feel so great.  It's not over though.  Now it's about staying with the healthy eating.  It's about keeping active and in shape.  It's about making a choice to make myself better.  It's also about trusting God to help you through it.  God says that our body is a temple.  I means to treat it with respect.  Keeping it healthy and living is a good thing.  Being alive long enough to be able to play basketball with future grandkids is a big thing too.  Overall, I'm just thankful for the opportunity.


Now I'm just hoping I win 500 bucks from the Beachbody Challenge.

Trying to Do This More

It's been a while since I posted a blog, and for that I'm sorry.  There are a lot of things to talk about in my life, and around the world to be honest.  I'll just hit them with bullet points.  People love bullet points.

Speaking of bullets, this whole gun control thing is getting out of hand.  Look, I truly believe that guns, WHEN IN THE WRONG HANDS, are dangerous items.  However, it seems as if every time something bad happens with a gun, the first thing lawmakers want to do take them out of the well behaved people's hands.  I truly believe that there should be SOME regulations on how people obtain guns.  I think a background check is just fine.  I think a mental evaluation of potential gun owners is quite alright.  I think if a person wants to own a gun, they should go through every possible test to get a hold of the gun.  I understand the right to bear arms.  I'm all for it.  However, there seems to be a rash of crimes and attacks that warrant a thorough evaluation of who gets a firearm.  I think it's fair.

I've tried to avoid talking about the whole gay marriage thing.  I go with God on this.  God says that if He's the center of your life, you know what He says about things.  My biggest issue is with those who are for traditional marriage.  I believe that there are a lot of traditional marriages that aren't nearly as God honoring as they think they are.  There are so many marriages that end because of infidelity, dishonesty, and just flat out boredom.  I believe that before anyone pipes in about what God honoring marriage should look like, they should make sure that their marriage is worthy of being called God honoring.  I truly believe that I should honor God with my life before telling others how to do the same.  That's all I'm saying.

My Insanity is going tremendous.  I was worried that my recent trip to South Carolina would ruin my progress.  My mom feeds me well.  We tend to get a lot of take out and stuff.  I did a good job of not overeating.  I'm proud of me for that.  I kept up with my workouts.  I even helped my sister and her boyfriend get started on their Insanity program.  Right now, I'm at 11 pounds lost, and I feel great.  They say this is "recovery week."  We'll see.  Everything ramps up with the "max" programs next week.  I get a little nervous when I see "max" on anything.

I don't know if all have you have heard the story of the Rutgers coach who was recently fired.  He was basically abusing his players.  He was throwing balls at players, hitting them, kicking them, pushing them, and calling them vile names.  He was just suspended in December for it.  First of all, parents trust these men/women with their kids' lives.  He broke that trust immensely.  The people above the coach broke that trust as well.  For this guy to flat out bully these kids because he knows they don't want to lose their scholarship.  Let's face it, being on the Rutgers basketball team usually means you weren't highly recruited by basketball powers.  So this is probably their only shot at playing Division 1 basketball.  So they're not going to leave anytime soon, which basically means they're going to have to take this abuse with little fight back.  I can tell you one thing, if any of my former players that I've coached or kids that I'll have in the future ever face this kind of abuse...yeah, bad things man, bad things.

This is Autism Awareness Month.  I want everyone to try to find out one thing about Autism that you didn't know.  I'm not saying you have to wave the banner for Autism or go on a crusade.  I'm just saying check out the facts.  See what it entails.  Maybe check out an Autism program or something.  Don't go out there with false bravado though.  People can read that easily.  And avoid prejudging.

Enjoy life people.  Smile at the silly things.  Fight for what you believe in.  Love your family.  Say hi to a stranger.  Avoid negative people.  Try to eat a little healthier.  Get fresh air whenever possible.  Count your blessings.  Be a friend.

Till the next time, people.

Week Two of Insanity

I've completed one week of Insanity, and I have to say that I'm feeling great.  I am down five pounds, from 229 to 224.  I feel more energized.  I can see my body taking shape.  I can see some definition in my body.  It's really amazing.  I am so blessed and happy with this.

 As I think about these developments, I can't help but thank God for it.  God has blessed me so much.  He's instilled this drive in me to want to better myself.  We hear that verse all the time about the body being a temple.  It's true.  We should care for our bodies as best we can.  I'm not talking bubble wrapping ourselves, even though that would be completely awesome.  I'm just saying not overindulging on things.  I'm saying not hitting the McDonald's every other day and hitting chicken wings the other days.

I have to say it's been tough.  Some of my favorite foods have been put on the back burner and replaced with great tasting, low calorie foods.  Actually, some of the foods have a good amount of calories, but I burn them all in no time. The Insanity workout calls for eating a lot so that you have the calories to burn.

It's also forcing me to have some discipline in my waking up and exercising.  I wake up every morning around 5:20 or so and work out.  I worry sometimes that I wake up my roommates with the exercising, but my concern over my health is a lot more important than my concern over disturbing others.  It was time that I started worrying about myself.  Not in a selfish way, trust me, I've met some fairly selfish people.  However, it's okay to want something for yourself.  People have asked me why I'm losing weight, exercising, all of that because they think I look great.  Truth be told, I want to do this.  It's my body.  I can do what I want.

Stay tuned next week for another update on my weight loss and experience with Insanity.  If you need it, I'll let you borrow it.